Doc: Right then and you are?
Balrog: A demon of the nether realm, bane of all in ages past and servant of the darkest powers of old.
Doc: No, I meant what's your name?
Balrog: Oh, sorry, it's Keith.
Doc: Just Keith?
Balrog: Well, Keith Balrog I suppose.
Doc: *writing* Keith B-a-l-r-o-g, and your address?
Balrog: Erm... Deepest Darkest Cavern, Mines of Moria, Middle Earth.
Doc: Do you have a zip code at all?
Balrog: A what?
Doc: Never mind, now, what seems to be the trouble?
Balrog: Well It's my throat, just recently it's been really sore.
Doc: Hmm, lets have a little looksee
*Balrog opens his mouth and the Doc looks inside with one of his metal thingys*
Doc: Say aaah
*Docs instrument melts instantly and he stands up with smoking eyebrows*
Doc: Yes it does look a bit inflamed, what sort of diet do you have?
Balrog: Orcs mostly
Doc: I see, and what sort of a thing is an org?
Balrog: ORCS, they're sort of these filthy, flesh eating, fighting goblin thingys
Doc: Well there you are then, its all in your diet, no wonder you have a sore throat, why not try having some salad or
something, it's much better for you and the fibre will do you good.
Balrog: Oh, right, I didn't realise.
Doc: Now, correct me if I'm wrong but I think I smelled smoke when you came in.
Balrog: Er, it's quite probable, yes
Doc: Mr. Balrog...
Balrog: Please, call me Keith.
Doc: Of course, Keith, there really is no excuse for smoking these days
Balrog: Well... I am a fire demon
Balrog: Oh yeah, watch this.. *he stands up, spreads his wings and bellows a deafening howl whilst pulsating with a terrifying
flame that would sear dragon scales*
Doc: Oh, so you are, silly me...*scribbling out his notes*.. well we can forget about the smoking for now. So, just stay off
the org for a while and try to keep away from any excitement for a little while.
Balrog: Ok, thanks Doc, bye
*Balrog leaves and the nurse comes in*
Doc: Ok what have we got next?
Nurse: An awful lot of stitches to be removed I believe.
Doc: Ok, send them in
*The nurse nods and calls into the waiting room*
Nurse: Is there a Mr. Lurtz here? A Mr. Terry Lurtz?