The Witch-King meets his Doom, Jack and Jill Style

by Auntkimby

For all readers who prefer lofty, high-minded fanfiction, just keep on going. ;-)

See Merry run.
Run, Merry, run!
Merry wants to go fight in the big battle.
But the King told him to stay home.
Home, Merry, Home!
See Durnhelm ride.
Ride, Durnhelm, ride!
(Merry doesn’t know it’s Eowyn in disguise. Tee hee!)
“Come ride with me, Merry!” Durnhelm says. “We will take swords and wave them around and everything.”
“All right, I’ll come!” Merry says.
Bad, Merry, bad!
Durnhelm and Merry ride off on her horse.
Trot, horse, trot!
See the Witch-King of Angmar.
He is very tall.
He is very pale.
He is very mad.
Merry thinks this might be because the Witch-King is a bad guy.
“You both are doomed!” he yells.
Doomed, doomed, doomed!
“Shall I sing the Doom Song?” Merry asks helpfully.
“Wrong parody, Merry,” Durnhelm says.
Whoops, Merry, whoops!
See Eowyn grab her sword.
Grab, Eowyn, grab!
“Hey, you’re a GIRL!” the Witch-King cries.
Eowyn is really mad.
Really, REALLY mad!
“I am not a girl! I AM WOMAN! Grown up and everything!”
Eowyn stabs at the Witch-King.
Stab, Eowyn, stab!
See Merry shiver.
Shiver, Merry, shiver!
Eowyn falls down.
Oh, dear, oh dear!
“Time for your shot!” Merry yells, and stabs the Witch-King in the leg.
Ouch, Witch-King, ouch!
The Witch-King falls down.
Eowyn gets up.
Up, Eowyn, up!
She kills the Witch-King.
Yay, Eowyn, yay!
See the Witch-King bleeding.
See the Witch-King dying.
See the Witch-King dead.
What fun he is having!
“I feel sad and depressed,” said Merry. “I got the Black Breath on me.”
“How do you think I feel!” The Witch-King shouts as he fades away.
“I got beaten by a GIRL!”
“I AM A WOMAN!!!!”