Poor Radagast's Almanac

by various

"Poor Radagast's Almanac"

Radagast’s Advice

A bird in hand is worth two in the air, to Saruman!

If you get your feet wet, they'll sprout hair, and stick that way!

"Nobody loves you when you're old and bray!"  - Ringwraith's horse's advice.

Early to bed,
Early to rise,
Makes an Elf
Long-haired, long-lived, and long-wise (tall, I mean!) 

Dwarf tossing is permitted so long as you don't grab the beard.

*A wizard in time, saves Nine.  
*Be glad of Elves bearing gifts.

*Never look a gift Meara in the mouth.

*Neither a Ringbearer or a Wearer be.

*Good Wizards make good neighbors. 

  –Never turn your back on a Balrog.

–Second breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Along with lunch. And afternoon tea. And dinner. And supper.

–One is lonely, three is company, but nine is fellowship.

–Next time, don’t go over or under--go around.

–Beware of all detours and shortcuts.

–Next time a hobbit says, “I will take the Ring to Mordor–but I do not know the way” –give the halfling a map, for pete’s sake, and send him on his way.

–If you’ve got a shield, use it--especially if you’re entering an archery range.

–Send the ring ExpressMail instead of hand delivery.  

- Fools make feasts and Hobbits eat them.

- He that lies down with Balrogs shall rise up with orcs.

- Fish and Gollum stinks in three days.

It's all fun and games until somebody loses an Eye. 

~~~ Middle Earth Superstitions from Poor Radagast ~~~

If you're a clumsy little hobbit and you spill salt, Throw it over you're left shoulder to hit the eye of Sauron.

If you break Galadriel's mirror-you have 7 lifetimes of bad luck.
Step on the Crack of Doom, you'll break that devil, Sauron's back!

None of us should wander alone, even if we're not lost. 

Very bad luck if a Black Rider crosses your path! 

If you drop your Blade of Gondor it means company is coming.

Every dark cloud has a mithril lining. Unless it's a cloud of crebain.  

Never open Lobelia's umbrella in the house – you might get hit on the head with a silver spoon.  

When in Fangorn, NEVER "knock on wood." (it may knock back!)   

One Ring in the fire is worth more than three for the Elven Kings.  

An apple a day keeps Bill Ferny away. 

Don't walk under any ladders - there may be an orc at the top.

If you kill a Spider it will bring seven days of rain, does that mean Shelob survived?

Let sleeping dogs and Balrogs lie.

If you see a Pippin pick him up, all the day you will have good luck. 

If your nose itches your gonna kiss a 'blue eyed' hobbit!  

Or, kiss a Took (fool).

A watched Took never fools. 


Contributors: Bluebell, Boriel, Dandy, Doctor Gamgee, Linaewen, Lindorie, Middle Earth Munchkin, Orlindall,  Primula, seansbeanie, Shelob, Sauron’s Rite-hand-man, Tinidril, Tom Cotton.  ('03)  Additons by Dinledhwen.