Spellchecking Tolkienby Wheathills, additions by Avondster and Primula
Anyone ever wondered what happens when you 'SpellCheck' Tolkien?.......
A summary of Tolkiens Lord of the Rings (after being SpellChecked!)
The Lord of the Rings follows on from Tolkiens
‘The Hobbit’ where we met Blob Begins and follow his adventures, including
obtaining a ring from Gloom (formerly Seagull).
The Lord of the rings follows the travels of Food
Begins after Blob leaves Food his magic ring. The Wizard, Vandal the Grey,
discovers it is The One Ring, an evil token desired by the dark lord Sharon,
who has deployed 9 Angels to look for it.
Vandal tells Food to leave the Shire, and so, with three good hobbit friends they head for the Selfish realm of Rive dell.
Meanwhile, Vandal heads to Disregard and the tower
of Orphans to see the leader of his order, Samurai the White. But Samurai
is in league with Sharon, communicating with him via a Planter to Sharon’s
tower, Border, in the land of Murder.
Vandal is captured yet escapes and meets the hobbits
in Rive dell. There Elton hold a council and a fellowship is formed to take
the ring and destroy it in Murder. Food, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Stirrer, Legless,
Boomers and Grimily, Son of Groin, set out to defeat Sharon together.
Therefore Stirrer has to leave his love, Elton’s daughter Ardent, who has re-forged Nasals into his new sword Endure.
On the way, Vandal is lost in the Mines of Miriam where he falls after fighting with a Bullfrog.
The rest then meet Gladiola and her partner Wellborn,
but continue on until Boomers demise at the hands of an Uruguay trying to
protect two of the hobbits.
Stirrer, Legless and Grimily then try to save
Merry and Pippin but rediscover Vandal the White in Foghorn Forest. The four
journey on to release the country of Roman and help King Theory and his nephew
and niece, Homer and Downy. After a big battle they defeat the armies of
Samurai and journey on into Gundog.
Meanwhile, Food and Sam meet Seagull who leads
them to the black gates of Murder. They then encounter Farmer, son of Defector,
brother of Boomer, who helps them on their way.
To prevent any spoilers I will stop here – but
you can look forward to ‘her’ (Sheldon) and will discover if Stirrer ever
becomes the King of Gundog.
Here's what I get with Dutch Spellcheck:
Frodo Baggins - Frou-Frou, Bagger = Wafer, Muck
Sam Gamgee = Sam Gamba
Merry Brandybuck - Merrie, Brandbom = Mare, Fire Bomb (that's for sure)
Pippin Took - Pipet, Toom - Pipette, Bridle
Aragorn - Arachideolie = Peanut Oil (he always was greasy)
Elessar - Elfenland (?)= Fairy Land
Strider - Strijder = Fighter
Mithrandir - Mitrailleur = Machine Gun
Boromir - Borreluur = Cocktail time
Legolas = Legoland
Galdriel - Galanterie = Gallantry
Eomer - Emmer = Bucket
Eowyn - Everzwijn (?) = Wild Boar (sorry dear)
Sauron = Sarong
Halbarad - Haalbaar = Achievable
Gothmog - Grootmoe = Granny
Denethor = Detector
Beregond - Beregend = Soaked with rain
Bergil - Begrip = Understanding
Ioreth - Boert (?) = Burps
Spellchecking the Two Towers (from a short summary from IMdb...because we couldn't resist trying it - Primula)
The Fellowship has been broken. Boron is dead, Frond Bagpipes and
Sandwiched Gamete have gone to Mortar alone to destroy the One Ring,
Merry and Pippin have been captured by the Uruguay-Thai, and Aragonite,
Legals, and Gimlet have made friends of the Rohm, a race of humans that
are in the path of the upcoming war, led by its aging King, Theorem.
The two towers between Mortar and Regarding, Bared-Urdu and Orthoclase,
have united in their lust for destruction. The corrupt wizard Saraband,
under the power of the Dark Lord Saute, and his slimy assistant,
Grimaced Worming, have created a grand Uruguay-Thai army bent on the
destruction of Man and Middle-earth.
The rebellion against Saute is building up and will be led by Gander
the White, who was thought to be dead after the Ballroom captured him.
One of the Ring's original bearers, the creature Golliwog, has tracked
Frond and Sandwiched down in search of his 'precious', but is captured
by the Hobbits and used as a way to lead them to Mt. Doom. The War of
the Ring has now begun....
Spellchecking the Return of the King
With Golly/Smears as a guide, Foot Bagpipes and Sandwiched Gamete get
nearer and nearer to Moron. Sam tries to convince Foot that Golly is
evil. Foot trusts Golly and rebukes Sandwiched. Foot later learns that
Golly is treacherous. After he leaves him in Sherbet's lair, Foot
throws Golly down an opening in the earth. Sherbet the spider stings
Foot but does not have a chance to devour him, for Sandwich returns.
Foot was still alive but taken by the enemy Words. Sam follows the
unconscious Foot to the dark tower of Corinthian Ungula. There, Sam
saves Foot and they set off for Mount Doom. But first, they must get
across the Plains of Gorgonzola that is infested with Words.
Pippin finds a watching-stone (Palpations) in the flooded Regarding.
Gandhi brings it back to Adores. Tempted, Pippin secretly looks into
the Palpations. He sees the Dark Lord's plan: to destroy Mimes Turkish,
the chief city of Gondoliers. Gandhi decides that he must go to Mimes
Turkish with Pippin.
Erwin is on her "last" journey towards the shore when she sees a vision
of her son. She returns to Riveted. There she insists that the Nasal,
theBlade that was Broken be reforged as Androids. Her father, Learned,
now knowing that Erwin will not leave Aragonite, reforges the sword.
When the city is first attacked, Gandhi has Pippin light the beacons of
Gondoliers. The beacons reach Adores, where the King Theorem
decides that Rohm will go to war. Downy comes with them, "only to say
farewell." So does Merry. The Riders of Groans muster at the side of a
dark and ominous mountain. At the Dwindled, Aragonite receives
Androids, the Sword of the King and decides to take the Dimwit Road.
Gondolier is besieged, and Denture goes mad. He attempts to burn Farmer
and himself, though Farmer is still alive. Gandhi, with the help of
Pippin, saves Farmer, but Denture passes away. A horn is blown,
announcing the arrival of Rohm. The Riders of Groans (and Downy) ride
through the army of Moron. Downy confronts the Nozzle's leader
and strikes him down with Merry's help, but Theorem is lost.
Hope seems near, until a fleet of Corsair ships arrive. While they
believe it to be another army for Moron, out jumps Aragonite, Legals
and Gimlet with the Dead. The army of Words are defeated. Mimes
Turkish is safe.
The Men of Rohm and Gondoliers decide to march to the Black Gate of
Moron. There, they would bring out the army and give Foot and Sandwich
a safe passage.
Not knowing what has happened outside, Foot and Sam continue their
trek. On the slopes of Mount Doom they are attacked by Golly. Foot runs
into the Mountain.
Foot puts on the Ring, but Golly bites off the finger. Golly dances,
but Foot has not given up yet. He fights with Golly and nearly falls,
but Sam pulls him up. The Ring is destroyed. Sam helps Foot outside the
mountain, but they are trapped on an island in the lava.
Gandhi, riding an eagle, comes to save Sam and Foot.
Foot wakes up in Gondoliers, where Aragonite is to be crowned.
Aragonite is now the King of Gondoliers. Erwin and Aragonite are to be
married. When the hobbits bow to Aragonite, Aragonite says "My friends.
You bow to no one." The whole population of Gondoliers bows
at the hobbits.
The hobbits return to their home-country, the Shire. Sam marries Rosie
Cotton. After a time, poisoned by Sherbet and the Morsel Blade, Foot
decides to go to the Undying Lands, accompanied by Gandhi, Galvanized,
Celebrity and Learned.