Galadriel's Criminal Record

by Varda


Well the worst nightmare came true, and my house sale went through....but my house purchase fell through. Which means I will be homeless in three weeks. Apparently, the owners of the Ithilien I had set my heart on did not actually own it all. Rolling Eyes Orcs as estate agents...

So I will be cast on the mercy of relatives, my precious Tolkien collection put into storage, and my budgies sent to board with the local pet shop. I went there today to book them in.
'Me; ''You board budgies, don't you?'
She; 'Oh yes, let me get the book....'

A large hardback ledger was dragged out, like the one in Oliver Twist, and a page opened for My Budgies.
'Ok...' said the lady 'Give me the Names of the Budgies'
I replied;
'They are Noel, Cobe and Galadriel....'
'Gil...Gel...I'm sorry, you will have to spell that....'
'G-a-l-a-d-r-i-e-l' I said loudly.
'Description of budgies?' she said.
'Well...' I replied 'Galadriel is big, golden,and she likes to boss the males about....' a bit like her literary namesake, I thought to myself.
'And she likes to escape....'
'Oh!'said the lady. 'I will have to put that information in....'
and she flipped down to a section for the budgies criminal record.
'She has previous.' I quipped, using the parlance of cockney low-life. I got an icy stare.
'All right...' the lady said ' describe just what she does'

'Well..' I said, attempting to be accurate 'she escapes through the openings for the seed hoppers, and climbs up onto the roof of the cage, where she can lord it over the male budgies, and hold a conversation with me without any bars in between. She enjoys power and freedom, and knows how to wield it....'

I was not sure which Galadriel I was talking about at this stage. But the lady just wrote;
'Escapes through feeders' whacked the book shut and said;
'That will be €3 per day, please....'

Until I find a home. And this time I won't be satisfied with Ithilien, it has to be Lothlorien.

Varda, soon to be come a ragged wanderer like Aragorn. It would be worth it if I met him....