Lore of the Ring, Round 56: Murder at the Lore Quiz
It's a Mystery...
Ladies and Gentlemen, Honoured Guests and
Assorted Nobility, Persons of Good, Evil and Those of Moral Ambiguity,
Favoured Friends and Fearsome Enemies, Intellectual Elite and
Unintellectual Funlovers, you have been conveniently gathered here
today at this picturesque country home in the middle of nowhere in
order to solve the most fiendish mystery ever to be devised by man! One
of the suspects assembled here before you has committed an act most
foul and dastardly, such that only the combined brainpower of myself,
Lord Hercules Marple Holmes Horatio MacGrissom Digby Chicken Caesar
Dunnit (but you may call me Hugh for short) can fathom out what
occurred here last night! Draw the curtains, light the candles, thumb
your notebooks and re-adjust your monitor resolutions for all shall be
Murder at the Lore Quiz!
*cue fearsome and fiendish musical score*
Gallantly dressed in a bright pink deerstalker hat, blue pinstripe
suit and bright white trainers, the hero of the hour, Lord Hugh Dunnit
saunters across the elaborately decorated Victorian-era dinning room
beadily eying each of the six suspects sat at convenient locations
around the room.
“These are the facts at hand, gathered by the best criminalists in
Middle-Earth.” Hugh boldly decried from his vantage point in the centre
of the room as he watched the flustered faces of the assorted guests.
“Last night at approximately 2.74pm in the afternoon, The Right
Honourable Sir Marmalade Strawberry Croissant with Butter, known
affectionately as ‘Bob’, the mysterious benefactor who called each of
you here to discuss some unknown triviality under mysterious
circumstances, was found dead!”
Astonished gasps erupted from the gathered guests, followed by
rapid fanning of their faces by the ladies and quickly darting eyes
from the menfolk.
“But that is not all,” Hugh continued with dramatic flair becoming
of an expert murder mystery detective, “For he was discovered outside
the front door of this picturesque countryside home immerse in copious
quantities of a red-coloured corn-syrup based liquid pretending not to
breath! Upon further examination it was confirmed - he was dead! The
handily available coroner could not determine cause of death due to the
victim having suffered extensive bone fractures across his entire
More shocked gasps rippled through the guests, followed by even more rapid fanning of the ladies’ delicate compositions.
“The die has been cast, ladies and gentlemen. The cards have been
shuffled and dealt. The ball is out of the court. The horses have left
the stable. The video download is already buffering! ‘Who has done this
vile deed?’ I hear you ask, well let’s find out!” Hugh proclaimed with
well timed flair and extravagance while waving his finger at all of the
“First, Professor Plum.” Hugh said, his finger stopping directly
in front of the old man seated in the armchair in the corner of the
“Me?” Plum sputtered, almost spitting out his generously portion
of brandy. “That’s preposterous. I am a feeble old man, white with the
years and frail like a schoolgirl. I could no more kill my old friend
Bob than chew my own food! It takes my five minutes just to get out of
“Really?” Hugh pondered loudly as he watched the old man stroke
his long white beard trying to squeeze out the last dregs of spilt
brandy. “I find that hard to believe when you were spotted just the
other morning out chopping wood in the forest. I know that you are more
than the feeble old schoolgirl you pretend to be, a fact this
certificate in black belt karate signed last month very well proves.”
“Hmmph” Plum mumbled under his breath and took another sip of his
brandy. “I am a simple professor of magical artefacts and curios. I
have risen to the highest position in my order through sheer cunning
and skill. I do not lower myself to such things as petty criminals.”
“So you say, Professor, but could you be the murderer?” Hugh said
with a raised eyebrow as the Professor took a long swig of brandy and
shot the detective a wizened stare.
“We turn next to the second of our illustrious guests – Mrs
Peacock!” Hugh cried swivelling round to point at the elegantly dressed
lady in blue perched on a dining chair, her long golden hair tied in a
bun on her head.
“Me, darling? Oh you do have a penchant for the bizarre.” Mrs
Peacock giggled, lightly fanning herself as her stunning eyes
brightened the room. “I am a respectable lady of noble birth, darling.
It would not do for one such as I to be involved in a vile thing like
murder. A lady has standards after all.”
That prompted a ripple of laughter from the Reverend seated next
to her which was swiftly greeted by a slap to his face with her fan.
Looking extremely satisfied with the smarting Reverend, she calmly
readjusted her fan and continued.
“My powers may be far and wide but my husband deals with the
day-to-day tasks of running our estate. I am a kind and generous
philanthropist to those lost in my land” She said slowly now, twisting
the blue-stoned ring sitting atop her finger.
“But ma’am, while you are known for your calm and understanding
manner… ahmm… I’m sure if the right circumstances presented themselves
you could be turned into a vicious assailant.” Hugh spoke softly,
walking slowly away from the noble lady to just out of fan-range.
Mrs Peacock said nothing in response but calmly adjusted her vibrant
blue dress and put on a stunningly deceptive smile as she shook out her
“Each to his or her own, I’m sure…” She said finally and resumed her stately seating to gulps from the other men in the room.
“Next, to Colonel Mustard!” Hugh pivoted, pointing to the man
dressed in full military regalia by the front room window attempting to
stuff two sandwiches in his mouth before anyone noticed they were
missing from the serving tray.
He quickly swallowed and rubbed off the crumbs, his face the perfect
example of stern stoicism despite the conspicuous splodge of
blackcurrant jam running down his chest.
“I may have killed in the past, Dunnit, but the past is but a
memory.” Mustard replied as he adjusted the horse-emblazoned crest
adorning his jacket and wiped the jam onto the nice clean carpet to the
dismay of Mrs White.
“You are a trained killer, are you not?” Hugh questioned as he
moved closer, carefully avoiding the lump of fruit preserve. “A man
that has rode to battle many times and is no stranger to the herald of
“’Tis all true.” Mustard replied with equal amounts sorrow and
pride, throwing back the mane of long blonde hair crowning his face in
a regal manner. “But I was exiled from my home, a victim of underhanded
lies and rumours. I have only just regained my rightful position
following the, ahmm, untimely demise of a close relative.”
“A wild polecat with a banana is just as dangerous as a mongoose
with a lisp, as I’m sure you’d agree, Colonel.” Hugh posited then
swiftly backed off at the confused look in the warrior’s eyes. Feeling
that now would be a good time to move on, Hugh turned dramatically to
the blonde lady spread out seductively on the chaise lounge beside the
Colonel. “But what about you, Miss Scarlet!?”
“Me?” Scarlet said sweetly, absent-mindedly twirling her hair in
her fingers. “I couldn’t hurt a mouse, as my many lovers would attest
too” She winked at Hugh, causing all the men in the room to cough and
readjust their positions.
“I would hastily disagree, Madame, if only because I know you to
be a compulsive liar!” Hugh quickly recovered, as an exclaimed shock
erupted and the large frame of Mrs White fell to the ground with a
“Is it not true then Miss Scarlet, that last night you were spotted
dressed as a man running to the stables! A ploy perhaps? To escape? Or
maybe to throw attention away from yourself onto a family member?”
“I have no idea what you mean.” Scarlet waxed lyrically, tenderly
re-applying her plump, dark red lipstick and smacking her lips as it
“Is it also not true, that you, Miss Scarlet, are in fact the
sister of Colonel Mustard!” Hugh shouted, rounding on the seductress
while also carefully shielding his eyes from the bright glare of the
Even more shocked gasps exploded from the guests, prompting Mrs
White (who had quickly recovered) to stand up and shout “I knew it!”
“You are indeed a thorough investigator!” Miss Scarlet bemoaned
with a delicate sigh, adjusting the bosom of her red dress and turning
her face away in shame. “Woe is me! Would not someone comfort me in my
hour of need?” Prompting all the men to quickly mutter excuses and look
aimlessly at the ceiling, making Scarlet groan and slump back into her
“Which leads us on to you, Reverend Green.” Hugh said quickly
avoiding the red temptress, and turning to the strict man sitting on
the chair next to Mrs Peacock. “A man of the cloth, so noble and
respectable but one hiding dark secrets in his past!”
“I... I… have no idea what you mean.” Green stuttered, shifting
nervously on his seat as sweaty beads formed on his forehead. “I am a
simple man, offering aid to the restless and the weary. A guide to
those who need direction.”
“Yet conveniently miss off the fact that you were once a great
general in the army, and led your people in fierce battle. Who knows
what deeds you committed in days gone by?!” Hugh said with added gusto,
elaborately waving his hands at the shifting man.
“I am a man of exposition, nothing more.” Green calmly said,
standing up to defend himself. “A leader of my people, one of the few
left perhaps, but never a murderer!”
“Is it also not true, Reverend, that Mrs Peacock is in fact, your
mother-in-law!” Hugh shouted as more gasps rung out, and Mrs. White
stood up and shouted “I knew it!” again. “And that you came here after
being blackmailed by Mrs Peacock following the marriage of your
daughter, her grand-daughter, to a commoner!”
“It’s all true! It’s all true! She’d never let me forget it!” The
Reverend collapsed back in his chair and broke down in tears, wiping
his face along his sleeve as Mrs Peacock looked on with daggers in her
“So finally to you, Mrs White!” Hugh cried as he turned on the
diminutive woman standing by the fireplace. “Who is not actually a
All eyes turned to the plump cook, as she mumbled something
culinary then slowly pulled off her white hat to reveal a mop of brown
“How did you know?” Mrs White asked with wide-eyed astonishment. “I thought no one would guess!”
To which all the other guests being to mutter that it was fairly
obvious and they had known for quite some time after she was seen
entering the men’s lavatories.
“I loved this white apron so much that I just couldn’t resist!”
She blurted out. “How else could I have gotten in here to make my
wondrous rabbit stew! All my life I’ve dreamed of cakes and roses, and
when I found this cook’s outfit I just couldn’t resist!”
“Indeed, Mrs White, the stew was delicious. A fine example of
your… mmm… skill” Hugh replied under vicious glares from Mrs White,
before returning to the middle of the room.
“So now we have the suspects – what of the murder weapons?” He said,
looking at the assorted miscreants that he called guests. “First, the
disappearance of the sword from the armoury. A magical sword no less,
such that it glows in the dark, handed down through generations as an
“I had a little accident while polishing.” said Mrs White,
kneading her hands in her apron. “It sort of fell off the wall and
stung my hand. I don’t know nothing, honest!” She took on a defensive
gaze and pointed her finger at the Professor. “What about the large
spherical paperweight from the Professor’s study?”
“A useless objet d’art, to be sure.” Professor Plum spoke up
angrily, annoyed that he was awakened from his unnoticed slumber in the
corner. “One of seven that were made, and pointless without its
companions. It must have rolled off the desk, because I’ve no idea
where it went.” He picked up his now empty brandy glass with a scowl
plastered over his long face, from the empty glass or Mrs White, no-one
was quite sure.
“I’m sure I saw that ball of yours near the bushes under the window,”
Miss Scarlet offered up. “It could be very dangerous if someone slipped
on it, how careless of you to let these things go missing.”
She smiled coyly and battered her eyelids at the grumpy old man,
who mumbled and refilled his glass with brandy. “Then there is the
mysterious rope that went missing from the Reverend’s climbing
“A fine example of workmanship, that rope was.” Reverend Green
started to say. “Silvery-grey in colour, it always came back to you
when you needed it. But for some reason this time it has vanished
without a trace…” He held his hands up with a sigh while shifting
suspiciously on his chair. “And what about the strange-smelling herbs
that Miss Scarlet uses to sweeten her tea?”
“A common plant.” Miss Scarlet quickly butted in. “Nothing to
worry about. It is purely medicinal and has great healing powers… in
the right hands of course.” She added with a wink at the Reverend
making him quickly gulp his cup of tea and look away.
“Phew! This is getting long! Can someone pass the sandwiches
before we die of starvation!” cried out Harry and Ron from beneath
their invisibility cloak, wedged between the grand piano and Mrs
Peacock’s bottomless handbag.
“Any particular flavour, dearies?” Mrs White queried as she walked
to the half-empty serving tray next to the crumb-stained Colonel. “Some
red herring if you’ve got it!” the boys replied quickly before promptly
“From complex forensic evidence-gathering, our criminalists have
determined that the murder must have happened somewhere in the grounds
of this estate, so everyone will need an alibi for their whereabouts
last night! Where were you, Mrs Peacock, around 3.81pm in the morning?”
Hugh rounded on the older woman.
“My darling, I went for a walk in the woods at the rear of the
estate. It helps to clear my thoughts after a long, arduous day.” Mrs
Peacock said softly, her eyes fixated on Hugh. “The trees are peaceful
by the river, where I can relax with my mirror.”
“The witch’s wood!” Colonel Mustard shouted out angrily at the
regal lady. “Nothing but trickery and mists! Don’t go in there alone!”
He cried out with alarm, muttering something under his breath about
haunted jam sponge.
“What about you then, Colonel Mustard, where were you at 1.51am in
the afternoon?” Hugh countered, turning on the masculine gentleman.
“No where.” The Colonel said gruffly. “I was taking a stroll in
the great hall of the south wing - alone. It brings back fond memories
of home with its golden coloured sheen.”
“And as I recall, Colonel, no weapons are allowed in that room.”
Miss Scarlet added with a sly smile. “Therefore he couldn’t have done
“What about your whereabouts, Reverend Green?” Hugh twisted around to the meagre man.
“I was off visiting my parishioners by the harbour at the western
entrance.” The Reverend replied curtly. “A healthy bout of sea air
never hurt anyone. I was watching the ships sail away from the troubles
of the world.”
“I can vouch for the Reverend, for I spied him on his way back.”
Professor Plum piped in, re-adjusting his long white beard. “I had just
found this nice little pub not far from the north gate when I saw him
“Can anyone vouch for you at this so-called pub?” Hugh questioned.
“I should say so, but the barman’s a bit slow on the uptake. Keeps
forgetting people, the old fool! There were lots of regulars there
though, big and little. I’m sure you can find someone if you ask
around.” The Professor grumbled dismissively and sank back into his
“A lot of unsavoury types frequent that pub.” Mrs White added, “I
bet half of them would be lying.” Which prompted a vicious glower from
the Professor and several grumblings about the value of a fine beer.
“That just leaves you then, Mrs White. Where were you last morning
at 17.90am in the evening?” Hugh said finally, turning on the portly
“I was cleaning the tower atop of this estate.” She replied
slowly. “It is very high up there and gets very dirty since the
refurbishment. It was demolished several years ago but has just been
rebuilt by a wealthy foreign investor. It was so dirty as to be almost
“So it was your eyes I saw gleaming in the sunlight at the top of
the tower?” Miss Scarlett asked with a decidedly ominous tone. “Those
steeps are awfully treacherous…” To which Mrs White gulped but offered
up no further response.
“So without further ado, I have thought long and hard on the
matter of this most fiendish murder. The evidence clearly points in
only one direction. I now know who committed this disturbing crime!”
Hugh told the gathered party after parading around the room with his
thinking cap on.
“So, who done it?” Mrs Peacock enquired politely getting a little hungry and feeling like a tea break was in order.
“Hugh done it?” said Colonel Mustard suddenly, reaching for the fire poker. “The detective done it?”
“He’s who dunnit!” Mrs White screamed, racing to get her frying pans.
“No, I’m Hugh Dunnit.” said Hugh. “It was one of you who did it!”
“That’s what she said, Hugh done it.” Miss Scarlet told him lazily, reaching into her handbag.
“I never trusted that man.” The Professor grumbled from his armchair.
“Got shifty eyes and a bad haircut. Never trust a man with a bad
“He admitted it!” Mrs Peacock cried out, rising swiftly from her chair. “Police, arrest him!”
“Oh no…” ruminated the Reverend, sinking deeper into his chair.
Fearing for his life, Hugh quickly leapt onto the dining room table
away from the assorted ramble and pointed his finger at the murderer.
“You done it!”
“I knew it!” shouted Mrs. White.
Who were the six suspects?
1. Professor Plum:
2. Mrs Peacock:
3. Colonel Mustard:
4. Miss Scarlet:
5. Reverend Green:
6. Mrs White:
What were the possible murder weapons?
What places did the suspects use as their alibis?
Extra point: Who done it, with what weapon, and where?
Was it Professor Plum with the Candelabra in the Dining Room?
Mrs Peacock with a Whip on Mount Doom?
Aragorn in the Bath with the Loofer?
Don’t be late or the banana gets it!
Full terms and conditions can be found here
but follow at your own peril for weird and wondrous things lurk beyond
the link. No bananas were harmed in the making of this quiz, although
three kiwi fruits were sat on by mistake. All characters are
trademarked Laiquendi’s Unfathomable Brain ® c/o Dr Horrible’s
Sing-a-Long Blog. ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and
gimble in the wabe; all mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths
outgrabe. "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws
that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the frumious
Bandersnatch!" He took his vorpal sword in hand: long time the manxome
foe he sought—So rested he by the Tumtum tree, and stood awhile in
thought. And as in uffish thought he stood, the Jabberwock, with eyes
of flame, came whiffling through the tulgey wood, and burbled as it
came! One, two! One, two! and through and through the vorpal blade went
snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head he went galumphing
back. "And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish
boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!" He chortled in his joy. 'Twas
brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe; all
mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe. If you are still
reading this, then within four hours, seventeen minutes and thirty-nine
seconds you will be dead. You have been warned!