Legolas, being a bit of a whizz with a bow and arrow, is about to turn the nearest Orc into target practice. He draws up his bow and gets ready to aim but suddenly the arrow falls to the ground. He looks around searching for it but he cannot find it, "Oh no" he cries "Where's my arra gorn?" (Arrow gone/Aragorn/Arrow gone/Aragorn geddit!?!)

Legolas being the best looking elf this side of Mirkwood and a bit of a 'ladies-elf' is always a fave with the local she-elves but he has a real problem getting them to leave him alone. One evening, a particularly persistent she-elf grabs hold of his arm so he cries "Le' go lass!" (Legolas/Let go lass/Legolas/Let go lass. he! he! he!)

....Frodo has just discovered that the Orcs took his mithril mail coat when he was unconscious but fortunately (perhaps unfortunately) Gimli has somehow got hold of it. Frodo, desperately wanting it back cries *in Donny Osmond as Joseph (and his technicolour dreamcoat) style* "Give me my mithril coat, my amazing mithril coat..."

....The fellowship have just split up on the banks of Amon Hen, Legolas senses the approach of the Orcs and says to Aragorn 'Something draws near....I can feel it "in ma fingers...I feel it in ma toes" *in Wet Wet Wet style*....

Galadriel, being a bit of an influential she-elf, had a really important interview with Adamanta Whitfoot (An up-and-coming journalist for 'She-elves Own'...yes, she is a hobbit but she's working undercover for H.I.B. [That's the Hobbit Inteligence Bureau] at the aforementioned prestigious magazine). Anyway, at the beginning of the interview, Adamanta Whitfoot asks "Galadriel, may I call you Galadriel? Yes, splendid. Well, just to get the record straight, where do you live at the moment?" Galadriel replies "Lórien." The ever inquisitive elf-hobbit enquires "Why?" Slightly phased by the bluntness of the question replies "Because I'm worth it!"

- Lady of the Laiquendi