War of the One Ladle

by Jatamansi

This is for Icarus, so that we may settle the issue of the One Ladle once and for all...

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The One Ladle was stolen from the contorted creature Icarus in a time of great unrest and confusion in the
Prancing Pony. The forces of Good (Jatamansi and her worthy band of fellow posters) came together and were
able to wrestle it away from the creature, who had been using the Ladle for Thwacking just any ol'
poster, regardless of their crime against Pony patrons (which was usually disagreeing with Icarus). So, the
One Ladle was confiscated and taken to a place of beauty and peace (aka Hawaii), where it may reside for
years to come in harmony with nature and peace-loving Pony patrons.

However, the One Ladle came to realize that it's, power, though great, was now limited - it could not be
in all places at once, especially because the One LadleBearer was now on Hawaii time. So, the One Ladle
made a decision - it would create designated, only slightly less powerful Ladles of Power, to be
distributed to qualifed LadleBearers. These Ladles were endorsed by the One Ladle, and the One
LadleBearer would distribute the Ladles of Power to those LadleBearers that she (in this case) saw fit as
carrying out the noble quest and duty of Thwacking those it deemed necessary of receiving a Thwacking.
The Ladles of Power were distributed in the following order:

Three were given to the Moderators - wisest, and fairest of all Pony patrons. These were given to
Rosie, Primula, and Lithilien Quicksilver, as they were the most visible and well-respected of Mods - as
well as being the ones to post most often.

Seven were given to NOGs (or others deemed worthy, because I don't really know who's officially a NOG) -
great posters, and craftswomen/men of the Bar. These were given (in no particular order) to
MistyMountainHoppp (for use while the One LadleBearer was stuck on a midwatch), Orangeblossom Took, lordbg,
Ansis, little elf, True-Hearted Easterling and boriel.

And nine... Nine were given to the race of Posters - who above all else, desired Kareoke, good drinks, and
interesting conversation. These were given to (again, in no particular order, because I only had seven for
the NOGs) Hobbitlove, lothithil, Calafalas, halavana, Mel Baggins, Namarie, Sagegrrl, Laerindae and m4sure.

These Ladles of Power have been designated as completely qualified and endorsed by the One Ladle -
these are substitute Ladles, for use whenever the One Ladle-Bearer is otherwise occupied (such as stuck at
work or out grocery shopping). Their Bearers were instructed to use them wisely, well, and without
remorse on the big head of Icarus and the slightly smaller heads of his minions.

These Ladles were carried to great victories in the War of the Ladle, and went on to Thwack many deserving
heads. The One Ladle was borne by Jatamansi to even greater victories against the ever-entertaining but
endlessly less-victorious Icarus - for details, read back posts on the boards. :)

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So, dear Icarus, you must accept the fact that you are never going to win the War of the Ladle - for I will
always bear the One Ladle on the path of true Thwacking, until such time as I deem all those in need
of thwacking as being duly Thwacked. Or until the pregnancy hormones have subsided and I pass the One
Ladle on to a recognized Thwacking authority to carry out the honorable duty of Thwacking those in need of a
good Thwack.

Long live the One Ladle!