Merry and Pippin as Gungans

by Firiel

Okeday, yous thinkin' I'm nutsen.....and you're probably right. But last week someone said something about imagining Merry and Pippin as Gungans, and I couldn't get the idea out of my head. Unlike many people, I just loved Jar Jar Binks, and I had to have a try at this spoof. It's not very good, I'm afraid, but it was fun trying.

P.S. It is absolutely essential to imagine these in Jar Jar's voice!

(BILBO'S BIRTHDAY PARTY)

PIPPIN
Quick!

(Merry boosts him onto the waggon)

MERRY
No, no! Notta dat one! Da big one!

(inside the tent)

PIPPIN
Okeday! 'Tis done.

MERRY
Yousa supposed ta put it in da ground.

PIPPIN
It 'tis in da ground!

MERRY
Yous nutsen!

PIPPIN
Dis was your idea! Aghhhh!

MERRY and PIPPIN
WE'S GONNA DIE!

(after it explodes, Merry and Pippin raise their heads cautiously)

MERRY
Gazzeeskaboom! 'Dat was bommbad one!

PIPPIN
Let's get another one!

(LEAVING THE SHIRE)

FRODO
"Sam, we're still in the Shire. What could possibly happen?"

(Pippin falls on Frodo)

PIPPIN
Heyday ho! 'Tis Frodo Baggins!

MERRY
Oi! Hiya, Frodo!

SAM
Get off of him!

FRODO
What's the meaning of this?

MERRY
Here' holda 'dissa stuff.

SAM
You've been in Farmer Maggot's crops again!

(as they race through the cornfield)
MERRY
Me not know why he's so upset. 'Tis only a few bommbad carrots.

PIPPIN
And some cabbages. Oi, and then oh, ahh, one or two leetle empty bags of potatoes we left 'im last week. And de mush'ooms da week before.

MERRY
Yes, Pippin, me's point is he's cleeerly over-reacting! Run!

(they fall off bluff)

PIPPIN
Oooh. 'Dis 'tis nutsen. Gazzeeskaboom!!

MERRY
Ahhh, ooohhhh. Me'sa thinkin' I've broken sump'in.

SAM
Trust a Brandybuck and a Took.

MERRY
Heyday ho! 'Tis just a detour. A ahh, kinda, a shortcut.

SAM
A shortcut to what?!

PIPPIN
Mush'ooms!! Oh boi! Oh boi!! Me loves dem!

(ELROND'S COUNCIL)

MERRY
Oi! We'sa comin' too! You have bommbad trouble if you leave us behind!

PIPPIN
(nods vehemently)
Yousa need people with intelleegaunce on thissa kinda misssion...quest.....thinga!

MERRY
(to Pippin)
Me'sa thinkin' that leaves yous out.

ELROND
Nine companions. So be it! You shall be the fellowship of the ring.

PIPPIN
Oh Boi! 'Tis grand adventure, dis! Ohh, umm, ahh, where we'sa goin'?

(BOROMIR TEACHES SWORDFIGHTING)

PIPPIN
Okeday, now me'sa gonna try dissa thing. AHHH! Yousa got me! Get 'im!!

MERRY
'Dis tis nutsen!

PIPPIN
He's got my arm! He's got my arm! Hep me! Hep me!

(I made up this one)

(after orcs catch them)

PIPPIN
Oh-oh. Ouch time 'dis time.

MERRRY
We's in bommbad trouble.