The Fat Lady Sings on the Middle Earth Board

by Vison, Dandy, Primula, Cedar Rapids Born, Joyful, Mithiethel, MithrandirCQ, Linaewen,
 Tuilelindowan, lilywillow, Cadsuane, ElfinWolf, ZanRing, and Dr.Gamgee

Collected from a thread on the Middle Earth Board after Vison made a comment about her story not being finished until the Fat Lady sings...

The Fat Lady is tuning up, spraying her throat with Listerine, singing her scales...

Uh-oh...they are coming...

They have a fat lady!

Ahhh...Listerine. There is more to this fat lady than meets the eye.

The Fat Lady is late!

A Fat Lady never sings late, Frodo Baggins, she sings *precisely* when she means to.

Sing "Fat Lady" and enter.

It's a pity Bilbo did not slay her when he had the chance!

It was pity that stayed his hand.

The pity of Bilbo may fill the ears of many.

Filthy thievessss...they stole my Lissssterine and we wantssss it!

We cannot get out.

She is coming. LA. LA. LA. She is coming.

I think I'm getting the hang of this! (spraying Listerine left and right)

A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind.

What is this new devilry?

This foe is Fatter than any of you - RUN!

Are we lost?

Shhh!...the Fat Lady is singing.

I'm hungry!

So are all who have to wait to hear her sing.


There will soon be a fell voice on the wind!

It's the Fat Lady, from Vison! HIDE!

She is choosing the way...of...pain!!!

Her voice is strong - the notes go deep my Lord.

I am the wielder of the Secret fire! Go back to the Land of Listerine!

It is not for us to decide. All we can do is decide what to do with the Fat given to us.

I know what it is you sing...

The quest stands on the edge of a knife. Stray but a little...and the Fat Lady sings.

She will try to sing! You know of whom I speak.

I have no memory of this voice.

Are you fattened? Not nearly fattened enough!!!

What is she? She is the Fat Lady, neither hearing nor deaf.

You owe her your allegiance!

ME has no Fat Lady, ME needs no Fat Lady.

Our list of fat ladies grows THIN...

The others have chosen exile.

Listerine is weak.

Her eye is FIXED on Listerine.

You are not the Fat Lady, you are not her heir. But the same Listerine flows in my veins...

You have only one must throw her in the fires of Mount Doom!

Gondor will see it done!

We cannot wield her - the Fat Lady answers to Vison alone!

noro lim, noro lim, Asfaloth!!!

Ride hard...don't look Fat.

They come in Fat? I'm getting one!

This is a real eye-opener...and no mistake!

You have entered the realm of the Fat Lady. You cannot go back.

I will be dead before I see the Song in the hands of the Fat Lady!

"All will love the Fat Lady and despair!"

Never trust a singing fat lady.

One Voice that will ruin us all, One Voice to deafen us, One Voice to leave our ears ringing and in the clamor deafen us. the land of the Fat Lady, where the shadows lie.

But the Listerine abandoned the Fat Lady.

This Voice is all she needs to cover all the land with a second Darkness.

Something draws near....I can hear it.

Not with 10,000 bottles of Listerine could you do this - it is folly!

Her throat is guarded by more than mouthwash...there is singing there that does not stop.

Give me the weapon of the enemy! (gargling with Listerine) I will use it against her!

But if I fail, what then? What happens when the Fat Lady takes back what is hers?

You will beg for deafness before the end!

Are you sure we do not suffer needlessly?

It is strange that we suffer so much over a sing. Such a little sing.

Frodo; "What are you DOING!!??!" (stamping out Listerine bottle)

Oh, that's nice! Ash on my Listerine bottle!


The Song goes ever on and on, from the Fat Lady where it began.

It is long since we had any hope....I just hope Vison is merciful!

Don't let the Fat Lady turn us into anything....unnatural!

No...she has a better use for us.

Her scales go ever on and on.

Her scales are still sharp!

Instead of a Dark Lord, you will have a Fat Lady, shrill and terrible!

Three songs for the Elven Kings (rolling their eyes)
Seven for the Dwarf Lords, tho' they weep and moan,
Nine for the mortal Men, clenching their thighs,
One for the Diva, on her Dark Throne.

In the land of Diva, where the Songstress lies . . .
One song to wake them all,
One song to find them,
One song to take them all,
and in the keening bind them.
In the land of Diva, where the Songstress lies.

(I know, I know . . . People in glass houses shouldn't sing High-Cs).