Tales from the Sponge: A Clone of their own

by Dandy B

***Attn SPCH: No Hobbits were harmed in the making of this Sponge Tale***

Bright morning sunshine streamed in the windows of The Prancing Pony as Goldenberry pulled back the drapes. Surprisingly the Satchel Pack hadn't left the place trashed the night before. She looked at the barlog but only two of them had signed in the evening before, Arabee and Rhiannon. "Well that explains that" she mused to herself. "Goldberry and Dandy must have been out causing mayhem with Eyes and The Stubbly-faced Frodo Clone. Now two of them were easily controlled but when the monitors had all four of the Satchel Pack at one time that's when things at the Pony get rather weird."

Brewing up a cauldron of troub-oops coffee. Wrong recipe. Goldenberry went on her daily morning search for the Tea-Towel of Power. Hugging it to her chest, she danced around the room. She was in command again. Ruler of the Pony. Star of the Coyote-Ugly bar stomp. Yes she was at home here. And ready to take on the world. "What's, this?" she said aloud to herself as she found Dandy's note pad. On it was written. Note-to-self ***Pick up bread*** (Oops wrong page). Note-to-self: ***Next sponge tale about Goldenberry and Marsailli*** "I wonder if today will be that day?"

First one to arrive that morning was Cadsuane with a disgruntled Mervyn. "Nice Flippers" said Goldenberry. "Are they a new pair?" Grinning sheepishly, Cads nodded in agreement. Pausing to send Mervyn after a pint or three, She whispered to Goldenberry, "I wore out the last pair dancing with Ararrat and Garoc. Had to buy another pair to keep up with Mervyn, that's why he is so upset today. He's jealous."

"I'm not jealous," growled Mervyn as he returned from fetching a pint for each of them. "I just think she should have worn her dancing shoes instead of her best flippers"

"Yes, dear" said Cads. "I forget about his sharp hearing. You know you really shouldn't be jealous, Ararrat is cute, but he is just another Hobbit. And Garoc looks ever so fine in a kilt. But you, on several other-hands, are a mermaids dream. There's no one else quite like you." Mildly appeased Mervyn went to his favorite corner of the Pony to lurk and arm wrestle with his friend The Balrog.

Goldenberry looked at Cads, the tears shining in her eyes. "I wish I had someone to be jealous over me, Dandy promised me a Lego-clone, but she hasn't showed up at all this week, will she remember me? Will she buy bread? With her notepad mislaid will she completely forget?"

Cads smiled at Goldenberry. "Sometimes it takes her a while to figure out what to write. Look at her story about Sam and her story about Estel. You know how long it takes her between those updates. Give her time, she won't forget."

Brushing aside her tears, Goldenberry returned to her cauldron of coffee. Soon the Pony will begin to fill up and since she was wielding the towel she wanted to be ready for the morning crunch.

Next to arrive was Marsaili. She had a satchel in hand and a forlorn look in her eyes. "What's the matter Mars?" asked Cads, actually knowing the answer beforehand based on seeing Dandy's notepad, "you look upset."

Sighing in despair Marsailli began to show off her new satchel, courtesy of Rhi. "But there's a problem with it" she wept "its empty, that crazy Satchel Pack gave me an empty satchel and then broke the cloning machine before I had a chance to make me a Boromir clone.... Oh the waiting is terrible. I want an I Scream Clone of my own."

"Oh that Dandy" said Mervyn from his corner "GRRR, you know what I think..." "Yes dear"

" I think we should go hunt down Dandy"
"Um, No dear. That wont get Mars or GNB a clone, they need real help. I think they need to find ToElf and ValCrush and see if they built another cloning machine."

"Well if you say so, but I think a Dandy hunt and a proper shaking would do her some good"
"Yes Dear"

"I think that would be a great idea...um...to go looking for VC and Toe, that is," said Marsailli.
"Brilliant, let's go" Goldenberry said as she tossed the Tea Towel to Cadsuane, Mars and Goldenberry rushed out the Pony room door. And then rushed back in. "We need directions."
"Better yet a guide."
"I can let Gimili out of the fridge" said Cads, grinning evilly.
"I don't think so Tim," said Marsaili
"Who's Tim?" Goldenberry asked.
"Never mind."

Meanwhile in a dark corner of the Pony Mervyn and The Balrog emptied the cauldron of trouble (it really was the wrong recipe) and The Balrog, slipped on the Pony Room floor and inadvertently opened the Bar fridge door, releasing Gimili into the story. "Oops" said The Balrog "Hey Mervyn do you think we should go after him?"
"Nah, lets finish our arm wrestling competition, I still have another twenty that you haven't faced yet, besides they'll find him in about a quarter of a page."

Moving on, the two Bree lasses climbed into Marsaili's pony cart and rode off towards Mirthwood, and the last known where-abouts of one, Legolas the Elf and lady-friend TOE. Lurking around the girls sought a path into the Elvish Realm of Mirthwood. But an entrance seemed to be missing and the author seemed to be at a loss.

"Well hullo, Dandy. I was wondering when you would show up? Now where do we go?" asked Goldenberry.
Dandy shrugged her virtual shoulders. "Do you like spiders?"
"Ewwe. No" said Marsaili.
"Oh good " shuddered Dandy. "Neither do I"
Suddenly jumping over Marsaili, Gimili arrived onto the scene and started licking Dandy's nose.
"Ewwe, how did he get out?" screamed all three.
And back at the Pony, Mervyn was heard to say: "See I told ee so"
"How about snakes, bugs, squirrels, smurfs, gollums, orcs?" DB said as she kept Gimili at least an arms length away.
"Can't we just go and get our clones?"
"Don't you want an adventure?"
"Well, I was hoping to have a personal adventure with my clone," says Goldenberry. "Me too" says Marsaili. "Um...I can't do that" Dandy eyed Sir Ian with his finger hovering over the Delete Key.
"But I can get you closer to the goal before we hit page 3."
"Really!" cried Goldenberry. "Hurry please, oh and stop using up all our storylines."

So without another word, up the trail rides Fool for a Took.
"Hiya FFaT, welcome back from ICON. What are you doing here?"
With a surprised look FFaT glanced around. "Well it looks like Dandy was stuck again and she needed a guide to get you to TOE and VC, she must have pulled me out of her bag-o-tricks and set me in your way. Do I need to sing you a hoe-down or can I just join the party?"
Once again Sir Ian's fingers had edged towards the Delete Key.
"Oh No, No Hoe-down is necessary." Marsaili said "Just a guide and a spare satchel for GNB if you have one."
"But, of course, I keep my Pippin-clone in my saddle bags, he's been afraid to come into the Pony after incident with the broken blender."
"What incident is that?" asked GNB.
"You don't really want to know" FFaT shuddered, and then watched as the saddlebag started to shudder too.
So without further ado, they duct taped Gimili to the nearest Ent and left him behind.
So proceeding onto the northern realm of Mirthwood. Led by the Fool and her Took, thinking they were making good time, they ended up back at the Prancing Pony.

"Fool For a Took! You led us the wrong way. We're back at the inn"
"Inn" Pippins head popped out of the saddlebags. "They have pints, I'm getting me one"
He rushed into the inn, and the girls followed.
"Well by the look on Dandy's face, you've met Gimili." Laughed The Balrog.
"GRR" said Dandy.
"And by the look on Dandy's face and the huge pan she's holding I'd better go.
BYE" yelled the Balrog as he ran out the door and flew away.
"I guess I'm staying," said FFaT as she eyed her Pippin clone at the bar with Mervyn.
"WHAT ABOUT US?" Asked GNB and Mars.
"Whelp I guess you are on your own again. Sorry" amended FFaT as she planted herself next to her Pippin clone.

And once again GNB and Mars exited the Pony and returned to the entrance of Mirthwood. This time the entrance was clearly marked.

"Well, this sign wasn't here before" Said GNB eyeing the Flashing Neon sign that announced "This way to Lego-land"
"Hmm. I suppose Thranduil must have gotten tired of giving out directions to the Orli Spongers," commented Mars.
Following the now well marked, and well-trodden trail, the girls from Bree finally arrived at TOE's and Lego's tree. VC was sitting on Toe's front porch, with Viggo on a leash beside her.

"Hi ((Goldenberry)) Hi ((Marsaili)) I was expecting you. Dandy said you were going to swing by sometime soon. We have rebuilt the cloning machine if that is why you are here; we have a new and improved one. You know longer need the original. We have it programmed to print out as many copies as you need. "
"WHOOT HOOOT" cheered the girls from Bree. "Where do we sign up?"
Leading the girls behind the tree. VC led them to the Cloning Machine.
Meanwhile overhead in the tree, four whispers were being heard over heard on the AIM chat lines.
"Watch this!"
"Dandy what are you up too?"
"Can we try it?"
"Shh they are at the cloning machine"

"Okay" Grinned VC. "All we have to do is dial in the correct setting and push the button"
"Oh Boy, Me first" Cried Mars. " I want a Boromir."
"Book version or Sean Bean style?"
"Oh Sean Bean PLEASE"
"Okee-Dokee" With a whirr a clunky-clunk the machine spat out one normal Boromir clone.
"WHOOOT HOOOT"
"Oh Boy" said GNB " mine next, I want a Legolas book version."
Out of the machine popped one Legolas-Green leaf.
"Oh ugh...he's too short...can I pick again? How about an Orli instead?"
A twist of the dial, and out popped Orlando Bloom with Pink hair and covered in strawberry jam.
Giggles were heard over the AIM chat line.
"What's up with that? Um...no...How about the Lego-Premier style?"
Another dial twist and again the machine whirr and out came Legolas with candy canes stuck on his shirt.
"What's with these wild shirts of his" VC chuckled. "Try again?"
"Please," whispered GNB beginning to get frustrated. Dialing in the final selection, Happy-Orli.
The machine sputtered and popped and black smoke rose from the back. Out the side came one Orli wearing a glad trash bag.
Out from the tree fell the Satchel Pack holding their stomachs in pain.
"Well I suppose that one will have to do, I will have to get him a better shirt though" said GNB as she eyed the giggling quadruplets and the smoking machine.
"I think I will stick with this one, but I must know what happens to the rejects?"

"Oh TOE will clean them up and gives them to the girls on the Fellowship Board" "Well okay if you say so"
So away ride the happy pair and their newfound clones.
Off on adventures of own