A Ringer's Guide to having a RW Job
- Find job that attracts lots of weirdos, so that you seem as normal as possible and get hired.
- Use well the days and your Boss's Internet
connection by searching for the latest LOTR news, visiting the Message
Boards, drooling over the newest pictures of Dom, and showing off your
website to random clients.
- After your Boss cuts off your Internet,
start playing games on your Desktop and fill in the names of LOTR
characters/actors for your opponents at Hearts and your best times for
- Now that your Boss has removed all files
but the ones you need for work from your computer, take your notebook
to work so that you can still write story ideas/musings/poems in secret
under your desk.
- Fix the surveillance camera your Boss has
just installed with a genuine Gandalf glare, then start flinging random
LOTR quotes at it, including the accompanying sound effects and theme
- Be not defeated after your Boss has had
your lips sewed together, take your collection of action figures to
work and start acting out the Trilogy... in mime.
- Put the action figures in your bag slowly
so that your fuming Boss can take out his totally unjustified anger on
you and not them. After he's left, put a wet cloth on your head and put
your ROTK soundtrack in your discman, cleverly hiding it in the folds
of your uniform.
- Go to the Hospital to have the earplugs
surgically removed from inside your head. On your way back to work run
by your house to pick up your bound copy of the Trilogy, because even
though you have now lost the ability to hear, you can still enjoy
- Quit your job after your Boss has ritually
burned your One Book, and let the Hobbits who live in your closet out
to deal with him, as well as the Elf in your cupboard and the Ranger
under your bed.