A Ringer's Guide to having a RW Job

by Avondster

- Find job that attracts lots of weirdos, so that you seem as normal as possible and get hired.

- Use well the days and your Boss's Internet connection by searching for the latest LOTR news, visiting the Message Boards, drooling over the newest pictures of Dom, and showing off your website to random clients.

- After your Boss cuts off your Internet, start playing games on your Desktop and fill in the names of LOTR characters/actors for your opponents at Hearts and your best times for Minesweeper.

- Now that your Boss has removed all files but the ones you need for work from your computer, take your notebook to work so that you can still write story ideas/musings/poems in secret under your desk.

- Fix the surveillance camera your Boss has just installed with a genuine Gandalf glare, then start flinging random LOTR quotes at it, including the accompanying sound effects and theme music.

- Be not defeated after your Boss has had your lips sewed together, take your collection of action figures to work and start acting out the Trilogy... in mime.

- Put the action figures in your bag slowly so that your fuming Boss can take out his totally unjustified anger on you and not them. After he's left, put a wet cloth on your head and put your ROTK soundtrack in your discman, cleverly hiding it in the folds of your uniform.

- Go to the Hospital to have the earplugs surgically removed from inside your head. On your way back to work run by your house to pick up your bound copy of the Trilogy, because even though you have now lost the ability to hear, you can still enjoy reading.

- Quit your job after your Boss has ritually burned your One Book, and let the Hobbits who live in your closet out to deal with him, as well as the Elf in your cupboard and the Ranger under your bed.

- Repeat.