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The Descent from the Pass of Caradhras ~ A Triple Drabble
First it was Pippin slipping, falling, and then sliding down the snowy slope while the Fellowship turned away from the pass of Caradhras. Then Merry, Frodo, and Sam quickly tried to stop him. But they were unsuccessful and soon found themselves following him.
Now this led Aragorn and Boromir into sharing the same fate as all of the Hobbits as they tried to stop them.
Then Gimli in his eagerness to help suffered the same mishap and took Gandalf down with him in the process.
Eventually they all ended up in a tangle of arms and legs midway down the slope on a level shelf of land. There they watched in awe as Legolas gracefully glided down on his feet towards them while leading Bill the Pony who sat on his haunches as he slid down behind the elf. Then the smiling elf let go of Bill’s rope so the pony would stay with the tangled Fellowship before he placed his hands behind his back like a skater would. After that he glided around them all before he continued his way down the remainder of the snowy slope his long blonde hair flowing behind him.
“Show off!” Aragorn called after him but in a good natured way since he was accustom to how Legolas teased.
From below there came the sound of merry laughter. “Come everyone! This slope is not so steep or long! Surely you can make it down without falling!”
Gimli snorted. “Oh I’ll come down there alright! No pointy eared elf will make a fool out of me!”
“That’ll be enough Gimli!” Aragorn said firmly while he and everyone began to untangle themselves. “Legolas meant no harm in having his fun!”
“I liked it!” Pippin said.
“Me too!” echoed Merry.
Gimli snorted again but said nothing more.
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Legolas’ Advice ~ A Double Drabble
“Hey everyone it’s the elvish cupcake!!!” a young thuggish looking man called out with gleeful malice to his equally thuggish looking friends while Legolas and Gimli walked past the entrance to a Minas Tirith tavern where the group was lounging in.
“Let me at them!” Gimli growled angrily under his breath while he took a firmer grip on his axe as the two friends continued on by the group which now chanted loudly “ELVISH CUPCAKE!” over and over again.
“Ignore them my friend. It’s nothing to shed blood over,” a smiling Legolas said quietly as he placed a restraining hand on his stout friend’s shoulder.
Gimli snorted angrily but he made no move towards the men and soon they had been left behind. “In the end to have risked your neck for the likes of such ingrates just galls me,” he grumbled.
“You risked your neck for them as well. But let us not dwell on this! After all we both know that our deeds will fade from men’s memories. Perhaps this is the start of that.”
Gimli sighed. “Still it’s tempting to give those ingrates a reminder with my axe.”
“I know my friend,” Legolas said with a smile.
II.
Two days later Legolas and Gimli were passing by the same tavern again. Now the thuggish looking young men were there and soon they were chanting “ELVISH CUPCAKE!” with even more gleeful malice than before.
“Let me at them so I can show these ingrates proper respect!” Gimli angrily sputtered while Legolas had to use his body and hands to block the dwarf from charging in amongst the men.
“My friend your axe is not needed here! Let us be on our way!” Legolas pleaded in a whisper while he began to try and push Gimli on down the street.
Now this suddenly emboldened one young thug into throwing a dagger at the elf’s back since he had mistaken Legolas’ wanting restraint on Gimli’s part as the act of a coward which now marked the Eldar as a target for his thuggish fun. And when the dagger sank in deeply the young thug let out a loud whoop of joy while Legolas slowly and silently sank to his knees his face mirroring the surprise and pain he was feeling.
Instantly this had Gimli roaring with anger while he rushed at the young thug with his axe held at the ready.
III.
Just as quickly the other young thugs surrounded their companion with drawn swords and knives in an effort to protect him from the dwarf. But they were no match for the veteran of many battles and soon they were either rolling around on the ground while they moaned and clutched at their wounds or running for their lives. Now this left the young thug alone to face Gimli and he was trembling so much from fear that his sword shook while the dwarf slowly herded him into a dead end alley next to the tavern by thrusting the sharp point on top at of his axe at the thug.
“Gimli stop!” Legolas called weakly from where he now lay on his stomach his breathing shallow and painful. “Let Aragorn determine his punishment! He’s the King and this is his city!”
Now the latter part of Legolas’ plea caused the dwarf to pause since the rule of law in Minas Tirith did trump his desire for revenge.
Meanwhile a patrol of soldiers had arrived drawn there by the sounds of fighting. So a grumbling Gimli had no choice but to hand over the young thug and his wounded companions to them.
IV: Conclusion
Fortunately for Legolas the wound created by the young thug’s dagger was only a painful one. Still it required a restriction to a bed within the Houses of Healing which chafed him more since he was accustom to being outdoors. So to help him rest easier he and his bed were moved to a private covered walkway next to the garden where he could feel the breeze and see the trees and plants growing there.
“If you had let me use my axe when I wanted to in the first place then you wouldn’t be in that bed now,” Gimli said in an “I told you so” tone of voice just as Aragorn joined them.
“And if I had acted more swiftly before that in sending all of those idle hands to the stone quarries then none of this would have happened period,” he said regretfully.
“I will heal so all is well,” Legolas said with a reassuring smile.
Gimli snorted. “I’ll never understand that elvish thinking of yours!”
Aragorn grinned. “I do and it’s just our friend’s way of advising us to move on to something more pleasant and I’m all for doing that!”
And so the trio did.
Addendum:
After Aragorn and Gimli had left Legolas the dwarf asked “So are you really going to move on?”
“No I’m not. I cannot let our friend be treated with such disrespect despite his wanting us too.”
“Good! Let me go get my axe and I will help you!”
Aragorn chuckled. “No my friend I have something else in mind.”
Later on the young thugs were brought before Aragorn who was sitting above them on the steps leading to his throne while he lovingly polished Andúril. Then he held it up so all could see its shiny blade. “Now this is a fine weapon. Perhaps I should show you just how fine as punishment for the disrespect you’ve shown to my friend and ally,” he said while he suddenly turned his steely glare on the young thug who had thrown the dagger.
Now this scared him so much that he soiled his pants which had Gimli grinning from ear to ear.
“I see my point has been received and understood.” Then Aragorn sentenced the young men to the quarries.
“Received and understood indeed!” Gimli chuckled afterwards.
Aragorn grinned. “But don’t tell Legolas!”
“Don’t tell him what?” Gimli replied with a wink.
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A Cheesy Serial Drabble
I.
What had started out as fun time amongst the Fellowship with paint ball guns quickly became a sticky and stringy mess.
“Pippen I told you that cheese balls wouldn’t work as ammo!” Merry scolded as he and everyone else tried to free themselves. Unfortunately they were stuck to the trees like flies in webs.
“This reminds me of home,” Legolas observed.
“Fortunately we don’t have to worry about being eaten by spiders,” Aragorn replied.
Suddenly there came the sound of many high pitched squeaks rapidly approaching.
“On the other hand we could have a problem with mice,” the Ranger added.
II.
A Cheesy Serial Drabble ~ Part 2
As it turned out the mice were not small field mice. Instead they were the size of poodles and enjoyed meat along with their cheese.
“Egad this one is way too ripe!” one mouse squeaked as it held its pointy nose with one paw after checking out Aragorn.
“And this one has been marinating too long in fan girl drool!” squeaked another after poking Legolas in the stomach.
And just as quickly Boromir, Gimli, and Gandalf were rejected as being too tough, too hairy, and too old.
Then it was the hobbits turn.
“Mister Frodo they’re drooling!”
“I know Sam!”
III.
A Cheesy Serial Drabble ~ Part 3
“Merry this can’t be good can it?” Pippen asked while the mice began to drag forth huge slices of whole wheat bread.
“I would say this definitely falls into that category,” Merry replied as a huge jar of mustard was brought forth.
“We can’t let the little ones be eaten!” a horrified Boromir exclaimed.
Now Gandalf, Gimli, and Aragorn loudly agreed with him while they struggled to free themselves.
As for Legolas he remained silent and calm. “Just like home,” he said to himself as the power of the fan girl drool began to diminish the power of the cheese.
IV.
A Cheesy Serial Drabble ~ Part 4
“I think a part of our solution to this cheesy bind lies with the hobbits,” Gandalf said.
“How so?” Boromir asked.
“Of course! There’s nothing edible that can withstand the power of hobbit jaws! Quick Sam, Frodo, Merry, and Pippen get to chewing!” Aragorn urged.
“Now why didn’t I think of that?!” Pippen groaned before he began to chew himself free.
“Because you’re a Took!” Merry shot back.
Meanwhile the mice were angered at this new escape attempt. Then they all froze with fear when they heard a now free Legolas call out towards the woods “Here kitty, kitty, kitty!”
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V.
A Cheesy Serial Drabble ~ Part 5
“Quick someone shut that elf up!” one of the mice screeched out in panic.
However Legolas was one step ahead of them literally and he gleefully kept calling out “Here kitty, kitty, kitty!” while he pirouetted, tangoed, and waltz around their efforts to catch him.
Meanwhile the hobbits kept chewing like miniature chainsaws through the many cheesy strands that held them securely to the trees.
“Remind me to never get between them and food,” Boromir said.
“Tell me about it! Those rascals nearly bit my hand off when we all went after the last crescent roll last night,” Gimli grumped.
VI.
A Cheesy Serial Drabble ~ Part 6
Suddenly sheer bedlam erupted when a white house cat with brown spots jumped in amongst the mice from the edge of the woods. Now this cat was the size of a bus and its presence sent the panic filled mice fleeing in all directions which gave the cat loads of fun as he chased and pounced on several of the mice.
“You will be hearing from my lawyer!” one mouse squeaked defiantly before the cat ate him in one gulp.
“My mother warned me there would be a day like this!” squeaked another before it too became a tasty snack.
VII.
A Cheesy Serial Drabble ~ Part 7
Meanwhile the hobbits had chewed themselves free and soon Merry and Pippen were working on freeing Gimli who kept yelling “Not the beard!” every time one of them chewed on it.
“Sorry about that but it’s stuck in amongst the cheese!” Merry apologized while he removed a long hair from between his teeth.
As for Frodo and Sam they began to work on Gandalf who soon was giggling.
“Gandalf are you ticklish?” Frodo asked in amazement.
“A wizard is never ticklish!” he replied firmly before giggling again when Sam chewed on the cheese surrounding his stomach.
“Yeah right,” Frodo muttered.
A Cheesy Serial Drabble ~ Conclusion in Double Drabble Form
Soon Frodo and Sam had Gandalf free while Merry and Pippin moved on to help Boromir. And once he was free the four hobbits tried to free Aragorn. But his ripeness kept them at bay.
So Boromir tried to use the tip of his long sword but it got stuck. Even Gimli’s axe met a similar fate.
Then Legolas swiftly stepped forward and used one of his white knives to cut the Ranger free.
“How is this possible when no other blade could do it?!” Boromir exclaimed in surprise.
“Power of the elves,” Legolas simply replied while smiling mysteriously as he hid the can of Pam cooking spray behind his back.
After that the Fellowship then petted Legolas’s bus sized kitty whose name was Shorty even though there was nothing short about him.
“And is the power of the elves the reason for this cat’s big size?” Boromir asked while Shorty began to playfully lick him.
“No it’s not. The writer of this serial drabble maxed out her poetic license for that,” Legolas replied while he shooed the cat back into the woods so Boromir wouldn’t become soaked.
After that the Fellowship resumed their fun this time with water balloons.
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I'm sure everyone here can recall the scene in the TTT movie where Gandalf throws off his cloak while he's standing before King Théoden. Well I have found "evidence" that the scene had to be reshot and here it is:
Smoky Memory – A Drabble
“You have no power here Gandalf the Gray!” King Théoden/Saruman said with a sneer.
Suddenly Gandalf pulled off his cloak and revealed that he had forgotten to put more on than his boxer shorts.
Now Legolas’ eyes went wide in amazement as the wizard’s radiantly white skin lit up the hall.
Lady Éowyn covered her mouth with her hand as she giggled before looking away.
Someone in the back of the hall whistled.
“My friend you really should stay away from that Longbottom Leaf,” Aragorn whispered as he covered Gandalf in the cloak again.
To this Gandalf only sighed regretfully.
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Pam + Hobbits = Mayhem – A Serial Drabble
1.
King Thranduil was beside himself when he learned that Legolas had told the hobbits that they could have as many cans of the elves’ Pam cooking spray they wanted after they had tickled him into revealing what this power of the elves looked like.
“Son how could you give away the only protection our people have?!”
“Father you have been hording this stuff ever since the spray’s maker convinced you that it was an excellent Yrch repellent in that palantír commercial years ago. You now have so much of it that you could sauté every Yrch with plenty left over!”
2.
Meanwhile the four hobbits had reached the closed gates to King Thranduil’s caverns.
“No solicitations allowed by dwarves, the burglar, or any hobbit related to him!” Pippin read out loud from the sign on the gates. “So what do we do now? Frodo isn’t welcome here.”
“He has to be! Otherwise Legolas wouldn’t have invited us here to pick up our Pam cooking spray!” Merry said while he pressed the doorbell.
Suddenly the large Welcome mat slid out from under them and soon all four hobbits were screaming hysterically as they rapidly slid down a winding chute coated with Pam.
3.
“Father did you leave the Yahoo security system on?!” Legolas exclaimed in dismay when he heard the familiar chime followed by the male voice saying cheerfully “You’ve got intruders!”
“I might have,” King Thranduil replied while he studied the fingernails on one hand.
Instantly Legolas took the shortcut down to the river. There he used a large fishing net on a pole to catch each hobbit like a butterfly as they emerged screaming over the water from the end of the slide.
“If only I had security like this to use when the Sackville-Baggins came to visit,” Frodo muttered wistfully.
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Saddle Sore ~ a Double Drabble
Gimli sat down gingerly on a fallen tree’s trunk.
“Are you saddle sore?” Legolas asked.
Gimli snorted. “Of course not! We dwarves are immune to such things!”
Meanwhile Aragorn had returned from tending the horses. “Here’s the extra blanket you wanted,” he said while holding it out towards the dwarf who quickly took it.
“Don’t you dare say a word!” Gimli snapped at a grinning Legolas who had quickly figured out that the dwarf had been lying.
“What’s going on?” Aragorn asked.
“Gimli’s “dwarvish immunity” doesn’t extend down to where he comes in contact with the saddle so he’s sore there,” Legolas teased while still grinning.
“I told you not to say anything!” Gimli growled while he threatened to axe the elf.
“Here now Gimli set aside your axe!” Aragorn quickly said while he stepped between the two. “And Legolas stop your teasing! Now both of you get some rest while I take the first watch. We have yet to find Merry and Pippin, and I fear that may not be an easy thing to do in Fangorn.”
“Well he started it!” Gimli grumbled.
“It’s not my fault your backside isn’t tougher!” Legolas whispered back.
“Gentlemen enough already! Now sleep!”
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Ghostly Fun ~ A Double Drabble
“Mr. Frodo I think Bag End is haunted!” Sam nervously blurted out during their afternoon tea two days before All Hallows Eve.
“Sam whatever makes you say that!” Frodo exclaimed while he poured the fragrant tea in their cups. Then he set the pot down on the table between them but off to one side.
“I’ve been hearing things…seeing things…that aren’t natural…while you were away.”
Instantly Frodo suspected that Sam’s active imagination had run away with him again. Still he couldn’t keep from asking “So what sort of “things” were you hearing and seeing?”
Suddenly the teapot slid all the way across to the other side of the table while the gingerbread men danced a merry jig.
Then an unearthly low moaning filled the air around them which even made the hair on their feet stand on end besides everywhere else.
“It’s…things…like that Mr. Frodo…that have been going on…” Sam whispered in a frightened way as if speaking louder would continue the unnatural occurrences.
Meanwhile the invisible instigator of the hobbits’ fear was smiling mischievously while he leaned nonchalantly in the open kitchen doorway.
“I sure do love this time of year!” the ghost of Boromir thought to himself.
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He is Not my King
Boromir’s anger was such that he started to withdraw his blade. However, he stopped mid-way when Legolas swifter movements aimed a single arrow at his forehead.
“Is this how the men of Gondor deal with someone who speaks the truth?” the elf asked his calm voice belying his own built up anger.
“That Ranger will not be my King!” Boromir sputtered while he let his sword slip back into its scabbard. Only then did Legolas lower his arrow.
“Aragorn will indeed be your King.”
“Stubborn jackass! You have no proof he is Isildur’s heir!”
Legolas snorted. “You are the one who is the jackass this day for discounting proof verified by Mithrandir and Lord Elrond!”
Boromir clenched his fists while he contemplated punching the infuriating elf in the face. However, the arrow’s continual presence made him think twice.
“You will regret your support for that Ranger!” he growled. Then he spun around on his booted heel and stomped off down the covered walkway, which led to Rivendell’s main gate and the waiting Fellowship.
Legolas sighed while he slipped his arrow back in his quiver.
“And they say we elves are stubborn!” he muttered to himself before he followed the man.
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A Hobbit Thanksgiving – A Drabble
“I know there’s a word for this but I can’t think of it,” Legolas said to Aragorn while they watched the hobbit’s Thanksgiving Day feeding frenzy.
“Amazing?”
“No...”
“Spectacular?”
“No…”
Suddenly a single red apple rolled quickly past them with several hobbits in hot pursuit.
“Bizarre?”
“No…”
“Hey look everyone! They’re serving pumpkin pie!” a hobbit with gravy on his waistcoat cried out.
Now drool flowed anew while the hobbits stampeded for the dessert table. Soon globs of pumpkin and whipped cream flew everywhere some of which hit Aragorn in the face.
“The word is priceless especially now.”
Aragorn laughed.
Fellowship of the Wedgie while in Moria - a Double Drabble
When Aragorn began to hear a quartet of protesting hobbit voices in the range of a female soprano, he knew the wedgie prank had made its appearance.
“Hobbits,” Gandalf muttered grumpily around the stem of his pipe.
“More like dwarf,” Aragorn corrected. “Moria no doubt has reawaken the memory of that fun past time.”
Suddenly Boromir did a wonderful solo impression of a female soprano opera singer hitting the highest note possible while reciting a litany of curses toward the dwarf.
“Nice performance. I wonder if I can book him in advance for my upcoming wedding to Arwen.”
Not long after a merry elvish laugh filled the air.
“I should have known you would be the one to spoil my fun!” Gimli grumbled.
Legolas laughed again. “And you should have remembered we elves always go commando for that very reason!”
This had Aragorn and Gandalf glancing at one another.
“Not a bad idea if this wedgie thing keeps up,” the wizard acknowledged.
Suddenly Gimli burst forth his own version of a Disney princess singing although the words did not come anywhere near to wishing for his prince charming.
“I have a feeling it will,” Aragorn, sighed while the hobbits laughed.
