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Gimli’s Regret – A Drabble
Gimli soon regretted that he had asked Aragorn to toss him for the Ranger’s first attempt was short and with a girly scream he landed down onto the Uruk-hai below.
Then Aragorn’s second attempt tossed him too far and he sailed over the ramp and down onto the Uruk-hai again who mimicked his girly scream.
Meanwhile Legolas, Haldir, and all the other elves where laughing so hard that they had to hold each other up.
“NOBODY MESSES WITH A TOSSED DWARF!” he bellowed angrily at them all.
Suddenly all were quiet. And they stayed that way much to Gimli’s satisfaction.
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In a Squeeze – A Drabble
A rather dazed looking Legolas stumbled into the Great Hall in Edoras his clothing covered in leaves and twigs.
“My friend what has happened?” Aragorn exclaimed as he helped the elf over to a bench.
“I…found…them,” was all Legolas could managed to stammer out.
“Found who?”
Suddenly the elf shuddered as if the memory was too terrible to recall.
“Legolas you must tell me! Who did you find?”
Now the elf whimpered.
“Legolas please tell me!”
“I…found…the Entwives! Oh it was horrible Aragorn!”
“Are you saying that they’re…dead?!”
“It’s worse than that! I’m now their huggable mascot for their group!”
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Legolas’s Help – A Drabble
When Legolas heard that he would help with putting up the pine garland around the feasting hall for the Christmas party from eight eager elves he was delighted until he saw they were really fan girls!
“Oh no!” he exclaimed with eyes wide with fear while he tried to exit the hall in haste.
However the girls were quicker and once they had tackled him to the floor they then wrapped the pine garland around him before dragging him off. Later he re-appeared looking dazed and disheveled with lipstick on his face and pine needles in his finger mussed hair…
This was written for the 24 Days challenge, and hijacked by Primula whose additions are there.
The Hairy Night – A Drabble
Boromir was about to fall asleep after the Fellowship had stopped for the first night when he heard a rhythmic swish, swish, swish start up. Then after lying there and listening to it for several minutes he pleaded loudly “Will you give it a rest!”
Now this produced only a moment of silence before the swishing continued.
“Are you going to do this every night?” Boromir demanded irritably.
“I must! I can’t let my fans see me with tangles!” Legolas replied earnestly while he brushed his hair.
“Oh joy!” Boromir shot back sarcastically before rolling over and plugging his ears.
The Hairy Night – Part 2
“I can tell that you’re not thrilled about my brushing,” Legolas said while he continued doing it.
“Whatever gave you a clue that I wasn’t?” Boromir asked while not rolling over.
“Your sarcasm. But I can understand why you feel that way for it must be hard for someone like you who is folliclely challenged to be seen next to me.”
“Folliclely challenged?!” Boromir exclaimed in surprised while he rolled over. “Are you blind? I have a full head of hair!”
“You call that peach fuzz hair?”
“Peach fuzz?!” Boromir exclaimed again while wondering if Legolas had lost his mind…
The Hairy Night - Conclusion
Still Boromir reached up to reassure himself that he had hair. But when he felt only bare skin he yelped loudly in fright “I’m bald!”
“You’re what?” a sleepy Aragorn asked from next to him while a curious Legolas came over with his bow in his hand and not a brush. Obviously the reserved elf was taking his turn at watch which told Boromir that he had only been dreaming.
“Never mind,” he said to Aragorn before sighing in relief.
Meanwhile Legolas shook his head. Men could be so puzzling at times that he doubted he would ever understand them.
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The Bonfire is Lit!
When Aragorn saw the fire on the mountain’s top he let out a loud happy “Wahoo!” before making a mad dash for the Golden Hall. Once he was inside he said excitedly to King Théoden “The bonfire is lit! Gondor is calling for hot dogs and marshmallows!”
“Tell me where was Gondor when we were swamped with all those unexpected guests?” King Théoden asked.
“I’m still going! The Gondorian’s are springing for the beer this time!”
Meanwhile the cameraman gave Legolas’s fans another shot of him to drool over.
“Muster the Rohirrim!” King Théoden suddenly ordered. “Leave no tankard behind!”
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Before Saruman had created his Uruk-hai he experimented with another idea…
Saruman’s Army - A Drabble
When the Rohan man regained consciousness he found himself chained down to the stone floor of an empty room by his wrists and ankles. Then off to one side a small hidden door slid up to reveal rows upon rows of chattering walking teeth which began to advance on him.
Now this made him laugh out loud “Is this the best you can do Saruman?!”
However his laughter soon turned to sounds of disgust as the teeth began to kiss him instead of ripping him to shreds.
“Looks like its back to the old drawing board,” Saruman sighed to himself.
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The Wearing of the Ring – A Drabble
No sooner had the Fellowship of the Ring formed when it was in danger of falling apart for the Ring was missing.
“See I told you all to never trust this elf!” Gimli snorted.
“I didn’t take the Ring!” Legolas replied angrily.
Meanwhile Aragorn had noticed that Boromir wasn’t all there. “Boromir give Frodo the Ring.”
“Now see here! What makes you think I have it?”
“Because when you wear the Ring on your big toe only your lower half becomes invisible.”
Seeing as any defense of his didn’t have a leg to stand on, Boromir gave the Ring back.
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Aragorn’s Nightmare – A Drabble
Aragorn suddenly sat up with a loud gasp while sweat beaded on his brow.
“Aragorn what is wrong?” Legolas asked softly while squatting down next to the Ranger with a concerned look on his face. Being an elf he needed little sleep and so was on guard duty while the Rohirrim rested for the night before continuing on to Helm’s Deep.
“I just had the worst nightmare!”
“What was it about?”
“I dreamt that Éowyn was opening a chain of fast food restaurants all over Middle-earth which served only her stew and that she wanted me to be her spokesman!”
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The Tale of the Garlic – A Drabble
While the Fellowship was making their way through Moria Gandalf’s staff suddenly went out plunging them all into inky darkness.
“Darn batteries!” the Wizard mumbled irritably under his breath while he fumbled to put new ones in.
Suddenly there came the sound of a brief scuffle which was followed by someone being punched.
“Keep your hands off of the Ring Bearer Boromir!” Legolas then said sternly.
“What right do you have to haul off and slug me Elf when it could have been anyone of us in this darkness?”
“Every right! Only you had the garlic bread at lunch today.”
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Appearances Can Be Deceiving – A Serial Drabble
1.
“LET ME AT HIM!” Gimli bellowed angrily while Aragorn and Boromir held him back from Legolas by his arms.
“Boromir get that axe out of his hand!” Aragorn ordered.
“I’m trying but he’s squirming like a fish!”
Meanwhile Legolas stood by calmly while he watched the wrestling match before him. Whoever was responsible for the red propeller on Gimli’s helmet was a genius as far as the elf was concerned until the dwarf suddenly broke free. Fortunately Boromir now had the axe so he could only charge head first into the elf which sent them both down onto the ground.
2.
“Enough of this Gimli!” Aragorn said firmly while he and Boromir tried to drag the punch throwing dwarf off of Legolas who was fending off most of the hard blows.
“Stop it! It was Pip and I who put the propeller on Gimli’s helmet!” a distraught Merry confessed while Pippin nodded in agreement and Sam looked scared.
Now this grabbed Gimli’s attention so he stopped. “You young rascals!” he exclaimed while Aragorn knelt down next to Legolas and quickly discovered that the Elf had now been knocked senseless.
“Is Legolas all right?” Sam asked softly.
“I don’t know Sam,” Aragorn replied.
3.
Meanwhile Frodo and Gandalf had returned from their private conversation and were quickly filled in by Boromir as to what had happened.
“If we weren’t so far from the Shire I would send you both home!” Gandalf said angrily to Merry and Pippin who cringed. “And as for you Gimli I thought I had impressed upon you to not let the past interfere with the present!” he added which caused the dwarf to look uncomfortable.
Now all during this time Sam still looked scared but no one noticed. Instead they were watching Aragorn who wasn’t having success in waking Legolas.
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4.
“I…ah…didn’t realize I had hit the elf that hard,” Gimli said softly while he watched as Aragorn gently waved the crushed and now pungent remains of a plant under Legolas’s nose.
However when this failed to rouse the elf an upset Sam suddenly blurted out “This is all my fault! I’m the one who put the propeller on Gimli’s helmet! I just wanted to pull a prank like Pippin…”
Now everyone stared at the hobbit in disbelief. Then Gandalf raised his staff and pointed it at him. “Master Samwise I’m afraid I’ll have to now turn you into something unnatural!”
5.
Suddenly Sam was enveloped in a blinding white light and when it was gone he looked down at himself and to his horror saw that he now had a huge red ripe tomato for a body with his head, arms, and legs sticking out.
“NOOOOOO!!!!!” he cried out in dismay and in doing so he woke himself up. Then he quickly sat up while checking with his hands that he was still a hobbit since it was too dark to see clearly. Once he was satisfied that he wasn’t a giant tomato he let out a long sigh of relief.
6.
Meanwhile Legolas was on watch this dark night and he came over to Sam after he had heard Sam wake up in distress. “Are you alright?” he asked softly.
Now Sam blushed in embarrassment for he didn’t want anyone in the Fellowship to ever find out about his dream. “Yes…I’m fine,” he replied as normally as possible.
“You don’t sound like it.”
“No really I’m fine!” Sam quickly said while his voice squeaked as he tried to sound more normal.
“You still don’t sound like it.”
Then to make matters worse Gandalf woke up. “What is going on?” he asked.
7. Conclusion
“Sam says he’s fine but I’m not so sure,” Legolas replied.
“Oh I’m sure he is now. Maybe the next time he decides to foolishly stuff himself full of mushrooms he’ll remember my earlier warning of the possible unpleasant consequences,” the Wizard said with an “I told you so” look which quickly brought a blush of embarrassment to Sam’s face. “And since there’s still some night left let’s see if you can dream of something far more pleasant,” he added before lying back down.
Soon Legolas was the only one awake and glad that he had passed on the mushrooms.
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The Rubber Ducky Incident
Cirdan could only stare in total disbelief when he saw the huge mass of little yellow rubber duckies clogging his harbor. Then he turned to Gandalf who took a step backward when he saw the anger on the elf’s face. “Care to take a stab at who is responsible for this?!”
“Now just calm down Cirdan! I’m sure Merry and Pippin will quickly clear this up!”
Suddenly there came some anxious shouts before two boats collided because the duckies kept them from steering out of each others way.
“I hope so for their sakes!” Cirdan grumbled before he stomped off.
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Boromir’s Discontent – A Drabble Series
1.
“This is so unfair!” Boromir’s ghost moaned unhappily while he sat on a rock. “I still don’t understand why Tolkien had to kill me off!”
“Maybe he did it so he would have fewer characters to deal with in the end,” Legolas suggested from his comfortable perch up in a tree.
Now this startled Boromir who looked up at the elf. “You can hear me?”
“Yes and I can see you too. Apparently Tolkien gave me this ability to use later when I follow Aragorn on the Paths of the Dead.”
“Oh that was just peachy of him!” Boromir grumbled.
2.
“I would enjoy this time of peace if I were you,” Legolas warned while he brought out the book.
“Why do you say that?”
“Denethor will die later on,” the elf calmly replied while thumbing through the book. “I can tell you the page it’s on if you like me to so you can prepare yourself to spend all of eternity with him.”
Boromir groaned and buried his face in his hands. “Please don’t! What ever did I do to Tolkien to deserve this additional unfair treatment?”
“Nothing I suspect.”
“But there must be a reason why!” Boromir shouted angrily.
3.
Meanwhile Aragorn had noticed that Legolas seemed to be talking with himself. So he approached and sat down on the same rock Boromir’s ghost was sitting on.
“Get off of me you smelly oaf!” Boromir yelled indignantly.
“Legolas who are you talking to? I see no one else here,” Aragorn asked.
“That’s because I’m talking with Boromir.”
Suddenly Boromir pushed Aragorn off of him. Now this caused the Ranger to yelp in surprise before he hit the ground face first.
“Boromir that wasn’t necessary,” Legolas admonished.
“Maybe not but it sure felt good doing it!” Boromir replied with a grin.
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4.
Aragorn slowly picked himself up from the ground while he wiped the dirt from his face. Then he moved closer to Legolas while keeping a wary eye on the rock. “Legolas what just happened?”
“Boromir’s ghost pushed you because you sat on him.”
Meanwhile the Gondorian in question was still grinning from what he had done. Then he began to make silly faces at the Ranger.
“But shouldn’t I be able to see him too like the ghosts later on?”
“I don’t see why not.”
Suddenly Boromir froze while he was sticking his tongue out when Aragorn frowned at him.
5.
“Apparently that ability was slow to develop,” Aragorn said while a red faced Boromir quickly retracted his tongue.
Meanwhile a distinguished elderly gentleman approached the trio. “Good afternoon Legolas, Aragorn, and Boromir!” Tolkien greeted pleasantly. “I trust all of you are happy with how I wrote you.”
Now Aragorn and Legolas both gave affirmative replies while Boromir snorted.
“I take it you’re not happy,” Tolkien said while bringing out his pipe.
“You killed me off! How can I be happy with that?!”
“No I didn’t,” Tolkien said with an amused smile while he lit his pipe. “It was the Uruk-hai.”
6.
Now Boromir gave a sigh of exasperation while Aragorn and Legolas smiled at one another.
“I do believe there are two hobbits in need of finding gentlemen,” Tolkien said to them. Now they quickly picked up on his wanting them to leave. So they did so after exchanging pleasant words of parting with the older man and Boromir. Once they were gone Tolkien looked at Boromir and said “Come it’s time for tea which was something I thought you would enjoy.”
“You killed me off so we could have tea together?!”
“Yes. I do so hate sitting all by myself.”
7. Conclusion
Boromir could only stare at Tolkien’s back in disbelief while the older gentleman began to walk over to a nearby quaint English cottage. However after sampling the delicious sweets that were served with the fine tea the man from Gondor realized that being dead wasn’t so bad after all.
And so it was that Boromir’s discontent disappeared and he spent many a pleasant tea time with Tolkien and later with a surprisingly mellower Denethor when he joined them. Eventually Aragorn showed up and after that the tea times became even merrier which was something Tolkien had been planning all along.
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The High Price of Horses ~ A Double Drabble
One minute Gandalf the White, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli were riding at a fast gallop towards Edoras when all of a sudden their horses stopped in mid-stride. Now this sent the Wizard airborne over Shadowfax’s neck and onto the ground where he landed on his backside. Meanwhile Aragorn had also taken to the air in a similar fashion although he landed face down in a mud puddle. As for Gimli he bounced off of Legolas’s back and promptly somersaulted over the horse’s rump before he landed on his stomach. Now that left the elf who had remained in the saddle due to his quick and graceful elvish reflexes keeping him there.
“See I told you that one quarter in each of the horse’s meter wouldn’t be enough to get us to Edoras!” he said with a smug look.
“I hate it when he’s right,” Gandalf muttered to Aragorn who was trying to wipe the mud off his face.
“There will be no living with him now,” the Ranger said wearily.
After that the fallen riders climbed back into their saddles before a still smug Legolas dropped the second quarter into each meter. Then they were galloping off towards Edoras again.
The Pink Oliphant ~ A Drabble
After the Drinking Game Aragorn asked Legolas “Are you drunk?”
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Then why do you have your bow notched with a plunger?”
“There’s a pink oliphant over there that I’m hunting.”
“That’s not a pink oliphant but the Lady Éowyn! And shooting her in the rear will make her angry!”
Suddenly Legolas fired before Aragorn grabbed the bow from him.
“You’re right about Éowyn being angry!” Legolas yelled at the Ranger’s back who was hard pressed to stay ahead of the plunger waving woman.
Then he wandered off while loudly singing about Éowyn the pink oliphant.
(this became an entire lengthy series of drabbles by multiple people - see the full 80+ part series under Other Drabbles 2)
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Legolas’s Visit to the Lord and Lady of Lorien ~ A Double Drabble
“I can come back later,” a surprised Legolas offered when the Lady Galadriel answered the door in a bathrobe and curlers.
“Nonsense! Now come on in while I get your Mirkwood bow and quiver.”
So Legolas entered and did a double take when he saw Lord Celeborn in sweats lying like a couch potato before his wife’s Mirror.
“Hey Lego! Good to see you again!”
“Good to see you too,” Legolas replied while feeling uncomfortable with seeing the leaders of Lorien in such a state of casualness.
Meanwhile Galadriel was opening a chest. “Honestly my dear! I wish you would keep your missing sock collection some place else!” she scolded.
“Missing sock collection?” Legolas asked tentatively.
“Yeah. Don’t know where they come from but I find them all over the golden woods,” Celeborn replied. “And they’re always so nice and warm!”
By now Galadriel had given Legolas his bow and quiver.
“Thank you for keeping these for me.”
“Anything for you sweetie!”
“Well…um…I’ll be going now.”
“So soon? Oh pooh!” Galadriel pouted.
“That’s a strange elf,” Celeborn said after Legolas had left.
“Compared to who my dear?”
“Good point. Oh look another warm sock!”
Galadriel sighed while shaking her head.
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*Hearing that their owners were jealous of them the socks banded together and commissioned the following*
Part 2
Meanwhile Legolas was walking briskly through Lorien in an attempt to put as much distance between himself and the Lord and Lady since his encounter with them had left him feeling unsettled. However he didn’t get too far before he was suddenly brought up short when something soft and warm fell on his head.
“Looks like you’ve been socked!” Haldir said with a big grin while he and his guards surrounded him. Then he reached up and took the sock off of Legolas’s head before giving it to one of his guards. “Quickly now take this to Lord Celeborn before it cools off! Oh and since the sock landed on Legolas’s head the Lord and the Lady will now be having a dinner guest tonight too!” he said to the guard.
Legolas paled while he watched the guard run off. “I really need to be on my way…”
“Do you realize how lucky you are?!” Haldir exclaimed in surprise. “It isn’t everyday a sock falls on your head! And I’ve heard that the Lord and Lady can be quite entertaining especially when they play charades or sing karaoke!”
“Eru save me!” Legolas muttered to himself while Haldir dragged him back.
Part 3
Unfortunately Eru didn’t receive Legolas’s plea so not only did he have to spend the evening playing charades and singing karaoke but he had to play Twister with the Lady Galadriel!
“My Lady perhaps the Lord would be the better partner for you considering…the closeness…we must engage in,” Legolas stammered nervously while she spread out the Twister mat.
“Oh go ahead Lego and have fun! My back has been hurting me of late,” Lord Celeborn replied with a smile. “Besides I love playing with the spinner!”
Sensing that there was nothing he could do to avoid playing the game Legolas sighed to himself. “Hopefully this won’t take long,” he thought to himself as Lord Celeborn began to spin for him and the Lady and soon their arms and legs were so tangled up that they couldn’t move. Then someone knocked on the door.
“I’ll get it!” Lord Celeborn said. “Now you two don’t go anywhere!” he added gleefully.
“We won’t!” the Lady said back happily while Legolas frowned.
“Perhaps we should move apart until the Lord gets back,” he suggested.
“Now why should we do that?”
“My Lady you’re married…”
“And you’re cute Legolas.”
“My Lady!”
“What?”
“Let me go!”
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Part 4
Meanwhile Lord Celeborn had come back into the room carrying a good sized wooden box full of colorful socks. “Honestly my dear! Can’t you play Twister without turning it into a wrestling match?” he scolded while he watched as his wife throw and then pin Legolas down onto the floor.
“Now you know I must get my practice in whenever I can what with the Galadhrim Games only a week away!” the Lady reminded before she got up.
“Eru help me!” Legolas whispered while he continued to lay face down on the floor.
But once again Eru didn’t hear him so after Lord Celeborn had helped him to sit up he then found himself helping the Lorien elf to sort out the socks in the box by color.
“Never have so many socks showed up at one time!” the Lord said happily while he rubbed a warm sock against the side of his face.
By now Legolas was about to bolt for the door when he noticed a white tag inside the top of a long red sock. “Made…in…China,” he then read the faded words on it.
“Eureka Lego! Now we know where the socks are from!” Lord Celeborn cheered.
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Coffee Break
1.
“Laddie stop!” Gimli suddenly said while he grabbed Legolas’s ears.
Now this startled the elf and he pulled back too far on their mount’s reins which caused the horse to flip over backwards. Fortunately he and Gimli avoided being squished and neither one of them nor the horse were hurt in the fall.
“Have you lost your mind?!” Legolas asked but Gimli didn’t hear him since he was sprinting towards the Dwarfbucks they had just passed.
Meanwhile Aragorn and Gandalf had ridden back to them.
“Not again!” the Ranger sighed.
“Never underestimate the power of a latte!” Gandalf said wisely.
Addendum by Lothithil:
Over the misty mountains cold
Through dungeons deep and caverns old
If we must away ere break of day
Let us have some coffee strong and bold!
The dwarves of yore made pricey drinks
Sold to doctors, lawyers, and shrinks
So much money did they make this way
That they had to drive a truck from Brinks!
But the ancient Dwarven café closed
The Brewers whereabouts, undisclosed
They'd still be making coffee today
But alas! their morgage was foreclosed!
Addendum by Primula:
Gandalf accepted the small paper packet with a Dwarven scone in it, willing to allow his impatience to be waived in exchange of fresh-baked carbohydrates. He took a large bite as Gimli continued on, handing out goodies as he went down the line. Gandalf started to chew and then suddenly stopped.
"Wait a minute," Gandalf mumbled, frowning as he fished around inside his mouth. He withdrew a darker bit and examined it closely. "These aren't blueberries. They're gravel!"
"Ack!" Legolas agreed, spitting bits of scone.
Gimli looked at them unperturbed. "Granite," he clarified, crunching happily. "Not gravel. Cleans the teeth."
2.
Meanwhile Aragorn continued to eat his granite filled scone.
“Not bad really,” he said while he spat out bits of broken teeth. “Reminds me a lot like the trail mix I was eating while descending that steep trail in the Misty Mountains.”
“You weren’t eating trail mix! Those were the rocks you had somehow gotten into you mouth while tumbling all the way down the trail after you had slipped!”
“No it was trail mix.”
“It was rocks!”
“Trail mix!”
“Okay you win. It was rocks.”
Aragorn smiled until he realized that Legolas had fooled him. “It was trail mix!”
Addendum by Primula once more...
Gimli expertly pulling the hot coffee through his teeth, straining out larger bits to chew noisily after each swig.
"Adds minerals to your diet," he commented sagely to Gandalf who was attempting to strain his through the tucked-up end of his beard. "Now, if this were authentic, I could have an extra shot of calcite and iron ore, put some hair on your chest, hah!"
The wizard replied 'ptoo ptoo ptoo'.
"He's onto something," Legolas observed. "We should cook up your camp coffee this way - straining it with gravel to purify it..."
"Hey! My coffee isn't that bad...!" Aragorn spluttered.
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Legolas’ Big Scare ~ A Halloween Double Drabble
This year Frodo had decided to have a Halloween Party at BagEnd for his closest friends which turned out to be a great success except for one thing. And that was the fact that he couldn’t scare Legolas no matter how hard he tried.
“You might as well give up Frodo. His elvishness won’t allow for such a thing to happen,” Aragorn said.
“I don’t believe that!” Gimli replied with a snort. “There has got to be something that scares our lanky bow toting companion.”
Suddenly Legolas screamed in pure terror and his long blonde hair stood on end before he keeled over backwards in a dead faint while Merry and Pippin showed him something in a magazine.
Instantly everyone gathered around the unconscious elf and the two hobbits. “What did you two do to scare him?!” Frodo asked clearly awed.
“Just this ad for cooking with wild rare mushrooms,” a confused Pippin said while he showed everyone else the ad. “All we did was to ask him if he knew where we could find them.”
“No wonder he fainted! The woman preparing the mushrooms in the ad has a bad case of split ends!” Aragorn said with a grin.
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The Sleigh Bell Incident ~ A Serial Drabble
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
“Legolas I think you should change your name to Mr. Jingles,” Pippin said with a big grin.
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
Legolas remained silent and glared back at the hobbit.
“Pippin I told you this wasn’t a good idea!” Merry said.
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
“Of course it’s a good idea Merry! He did say he wanted to join in on our Christmas fun.”
“But you didn’t have to super glue those sleigh bells around his neck! Now he can’t make the slightest move without jingling!”
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
“See what I mean! Now go and get the super glue remover!”
“There isn’t any.”
Legolas sighed.
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
The Sleigh Bell Incident ~ Part 2
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
“Well Laddie it could be worse,” Gimli said with his hand over his nose as he tried to comfort his friend.
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
“I don’t think so!”
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
“Want to bet?” Gimli asked while he removed his hand so Legolas could see the large red plastic ball glued there. “I too decided to join in on the Christmas fun and found myself looking like some flying deer by the name of Rudolf!” the dwarf growled.
Now Legolas tried hard to not laugh but he couldn’t which made the sleigh bells on him jingle so loudly that it drew everyone’s attention.
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The Sleigh Bell Incident ~ Part 3
“Pippin what have you done!” Merry exclaimed when he saw the red nose on Gimli, the row of gingerbread man gumdrop buttons down the middle of Gandalf’s robe, the reindeer antlers in Aragorn’s greasy locks, and the glitter covered wings of a Sugar Plum Fairy on Boromir’s back.
“I think they look right festive!” Pippin said with a big happy grin.
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
“I would rather not look this way,” Legolas, pouted.
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
“How about we trade Lego?” Boromir asked hopefully.
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
“On second thought I’ll keep the bells.”
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
Boromir sighed.
Meanwhile Gandalf was trying to eat his buttons off.
The Sleigh Bell Incident ~ Part 4
“Merry the time has come for you, me, Sam, and Frodo to get dressed for our Christmas celebration now that our guests are ready,” Pippin said while he grabbed Merry by his arm and dragged him out of the room.
“Fool of a Took!” Gandalf muttered as he continued to chew the gumdrops off the front of his robe.
“Say do you eat wings too?” Boromir asked hopefully.
Meanwhile the four hobbits had quickly returned each wearing the same red and green plaid suit.
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
“My eyes!” Legolas exclaimed in fear as the garishness of the plaid blinded him.
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
The Sleigh Bell Incident ~ Part 5
Now in a panic Legolas quickly jumped up and tried to run out of the room. Instead, he ran smack dab into the wall next to the door, which made the sleigh bells jingle even louder. Then he staggered backwards and was about to try it again when Aragorn stopped him.
“Here now stop that before you hurt yourself!” he said to the frightened elf.
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
“I’ll never see my fair trees again!” Legolas moaned.
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
Suddenly Gandalf stepped forward and slipped a pair of Ray Ban sunglasses onto the elf.
“See them once more my friend!” Gandalf declared triumphantly.
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The Sleigh Bell Incident ~ Part 6
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
“I can see again!” Legolas cried ecstatically.
Jingle…jingle…jingle…
“Gondor could use Ray Bans. Gondor needs Ray Bans!” Boromir muttered thoughtfully.
Then Gandalf threatened to turn Pippin into a lawn gnome the horrible unnaturalness of which quickly sent the hobbit into fetching more super glue remover and rectifying his earlier handiwork.
As for the plaid suits, they suddenly unraveled in a spontaneous way the garishness too much for the threads to contain any longer within their weaving.
“Now that’s a blessing,” Legolas sighed while the hobbits literally ran for cover.
Meanwhile Boromir silently closed in on the elf from behind.
The Sleigh Bell Incident ~ Part 7
Concurrently Santa had slipped unnoticed down the chimney and now stood in front of the fireplace.
“Boromir I would not strangle Legolas if I were you,” he said disapprovingly.
Instantly everyone’s attention first landed on the jolly old elf and then on the red-faced Boromir who quickly hid the length of garland behind his back.
Legolas raised his Ray Ban’s so he could glare unhindered at the man.
“He really does exist!” Merry and Pippin suddenly giggled before pretending to faint.
“They’re reenacting that Christmas M & M commercial,” Aragorn explained to Gandalf who rolled his eyes.
“Hobbits,” Santa muttered.
The Sleigh Bell Incident ~ Part 8
“Alright kiddies I want everyone to line up before me from the youngest to the oldest so I can hand out your presents!” Santa Clause instructed.
“If you give me your Ray Bans I’ll let you take my place. Then you won’t be last in line,” Boromir whispered to Legolas.
“Don’t you have a brother you can go and annoy?” the elf shot back.
“Get in line Boromir!” Aragorn commanded.
“You can’t command me like that! You’re not my King!”
“I am too!”
“No you’re not!”
“I hope the milk and cookies will be worth all of this,” Santa sighed.
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The Sleigh Bell Incident ~ Parts 9 and 10 Combined into a Double Drabble
“Behave yourselves!” Gandalf grumped before he silenced both men by bopping them on their heads with the top of his staff.
After that, Santa decided he had better move things along quickly before anything else happened. Then he proceeded to hand out from his big red bag the gifts he had brought to the following:
To Pippin, he gave an application to join Farmer Maggot’s Gardening Crew.
To Merry, he gave a lifetime supply of South Farthing Pipe Weed.
To Frodo, he gave a Thesaurus.
To Sam, he gave a new pair of gardening shears.
To Gimli, he gave a magazine wrapped in a plain brown wrapper.
To Boromir, he gave a golden reproduction of the One Ring.
To Aragorn, he gave a lifetime supply of personal hygiene products.
To Gandalf, he gave a frequent flyer card on Eagle Airlines.
To Legolas, he gave a tree seedling in a pot.
“Now if anyone has any comments or questions about their gifts I will hear them while I partake of those delicious looking cookies and milk,” Santa said before he settled himself down in the big person wing backed chair conveniently placed next to the table on which sat the goodies.
The Sleigh Bell Incident ~ Parts 11 and 12 Combined into a Double Drabble
“This was not on my wish list!” Pippin exclaimed unhappily while he waved the application at Santa.
“I know. However, I was not about to give you a pass allowing you to “freely sample” all of Farmer Maggot’s produce for life! This way you will do “honest” work for it. Now I could give you a lump of coal if you prefer. Technically your super glue activities fall under its criteria,” Santa explained while he picked up a reindeer shaped sugar cookie.
Now this had Pippin looking very crestfallen.
“Come on Pip! You have to try this pipe weed! It’s the best yet!” Merry said between puffs on his pipe his voice already slurred from its headiness. Then he grabbed his friend by the arm with his free hand and led him outdoors.
“Excuse me everyone but I feel the need to go book a flight!” Gandalf said hastily before he ran out the door.
“More like feeling the need for some of Merry’s weed,” Aragorn whispered to a grinning Frodo.
“Wizards!” he whispered back, which made them both softly chuckle.
Meanwhile Santa was savoring the cookie. “My compliments to the baker!” he said before he reached for another.
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How the Trip Through Moria Actually Transpired ~ A Drabble
“Gandalf are we there yet?” the four hobbits asked for the umpteenth time while the Fellowship made its way through Moria.
“No we’re not! Now stop asking me!”
“Gandalf I need to use the little Gondorian room!” Boromir informed urgently.
“But you were just there!”
“Gandalf Legolas won’t stop poking me in the back with his bow!” Gimli whined.
“I’m not poking you!”
“Yes you are!”
“Stop it you two! You don’t want me coming back there!” Gandalf growled.
“Gandalf?” Aragorn called from the very back.
“Yes?”
“I think I’m getting Moria sick!” Then he hurled.
Gandalf rolled his eyes.
Addendum by Primula:
"All right everyone, let's play eye-spy. Legolas, you go first."
"Why does he get to go first?" Gimli's retorted, "It isn't fair!
"It is too fair," Legolas said, sticking out his fair elven tongue. "I spy with my Elven eyes.....something black."
"But that describes this whole place!" grumbled Boromir, doing his Gondorian dance.
"Black? It's more than black!" protested Gimli. "You just don't like dark!"
"Did I say it was dark?" asked Legolas. "I didn't say it was dark. It's my turn and you got the wrong answer. Gong! Thank you for playing anyway."
"Gaaandalllf," Gimli whined again. "Make him stop!"
