Legolas
and The Entwives - A Drabble
I know Ents are not trees but it
would give a new meaning to the phrase "Have you hugged your tree
today?"
Legolas was walking through the forest one day when much to his
surprise and dismay he comes upon two Entwives in a clearing.
“Look Maple it’s an Elf!” Elm exclaimed.
“So it is! Hm hoom And a fair looking Elf too!” Maple says moving so
that she now stands between Legolas and the forest.
Momentarily distracted by her Legolas is a step to slow to avoid being
caught in Elm’s big hands. Immediately he is subjected to a big hug
first from her and then Maple before he is gently set back on the
ground.
Entwives love to hug elves.
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A Hairy Drabble
Legolas knelt down next to the corpse on the floor and pulled an arrow
out of it. “Goblins!” he exclaimed throwing it back down while standing
up. Then suddenly he cried out in dismay “Oh no!”
“What’s wrong?” Aragorn asked clearly perplexed as was the rest of the
Fellowship who gathered around.
“They said this would never happen! So much for their guarantee!” the
now angry Elf said while tearing up a small piece of paper with a
salon’s name on it.
“What would never happen?” Aragorn asked still perplexed.
“Are you blind?! Some of my hair has come loose!”
A Hairy Incident at Edoras – A Drabble
Aragorn and Gimli are sitting in the Golden Hall at Edoras enjoying the
company of each other while smoking their pipes. Then Aragorn says “I
have not seen Legolas today. Have you seen him?”
Suddenly the doors at one end of the Hall burst open and in runs a very
frightened Legolas with a whole horde of women at his heels. Quickly
they corner the poor Elf and begin to ask him different hair care
questions all at the same time.
“There are times like this when being a Dwarf has its advantages.”
“Or a scruffy looking Ranger,” added Aragorn.
The Game
When Gimli woke up the next morning he was confused. The last thing he
remembered was that he and Legolas were in the midst of a drinking game
there in the Great Hall at Edoras. Somehow he had made it to bed but
who had won the game he couldn’t remember. So he went back to the Great
Hall. There he found Aragorn who immediately broke out in howls of
laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Gimli angrily demanded until he finally noticed the
tiny pink bows now in his beard. Suddenly he realized that the blasted
Elf had won the game!
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The Revenge
Now Gimli wasn’t about to let Legolas get away with putting pink bows
in his beard. After some quick phone calls on a pay phone outside the
Great Hall, his plan was set. Then he went inside.
“Alright Elf you had your fun!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“OH YES YOU DO! HE’S IN HERE GIRLS!” Gimli roared.
Suddenly a whole horde of screaming teenage girls came running in.
Legolas took one look at them, and he went pale with fright before
dashing out a side door with them hot on his heels.
Gimli grinned. Revenge was sweet.
The Rampage
However Gimli soon learned that teenage girls can be hard to control.
So once they had chased Legolas outside, the screaming girls began to
run amok and started to chase after Aragorn, Éomer, Merry and
Pippin too. Unfortunately the poor hobbits couldn’t run fast enough and
were easily caught. It was their loud squeals for help while they were
being hugged and kissed that caused Gandalf to come to everyone’s aid.
But the girls clung onto him and threatened to hug the Wizard until he
shouted loudly and sternly “STOP THIS AT ONCE!!”
Then calm descended over Edoras once more.
The Confession
With Gandalf’s help, Gimli was able to send the teenage girls home but
not before the Wizard lectured them on their outrageous behavior.
“Now Master Dwarf what is the meaning behind all of this?” Gandalf
asked while Legolas, Aragorn, Éomer, Merry, and Pippin wiped the
lipstick from their faces.
“That blasted Elf started it by putting pink bows in my beard!” he
grumbled.
“But I didn’t,” Legolas protested.
“YES YOU DID!!” Gimli roared.
“No he didn’t,” Merry and Pippin suddenly said together. “We did.”
“We thought it was a good joke at the time,” Merry added sheepishly.
“Hobbits,” Gandalf sighed.
top
The Party
Legolas stood outside the Great Hall there at Edoras while gazing up at
the stars in the night sky. The gentle breeze was cool and refreshing
on his fair face after being inside where the party for their victory
at Helm’s deep was in full swing. Now the Elf had nothing against
parties but this one was beginning to get on his nerves. He failed to
see the fun in singing “One Hundred Kegs of Ale on the Wall” over and
over again. But it was when that conga line started to rapidly form he
knew he had had enough.
The Missing Elf
Legolas was missing. It was as if the Elf had vanished into thin air.
“I don’t understand it,” Aragorn said in frustration to Merry, Pippin,
Gimli, and Éomer while they stood in the Great Hall at Edoras.
“We have searched everywhere.”
“I say let him hide!” Gimli grumbled before sitting down at one of the
tables set for lunch. “When he gets hungry enough he’ll come out. Until
then I’m not going to starve myself. Care to join me you two rascals?”
Now the two hobbits couldn’t resist his invitation so they joined the
dwarf.
Aragorn sighed.
Legolas was missing.
The Missing Is Found
“Without Legolas our story can’t continue,” Aragorn said to
Éomer while the two men walked outside. “We must find him or we
will be stuck forever here in Edoras.”
So it was decided that Éomer would search again while Aragorn
went back to the room he and Legolas had been sharing looking for
clues. No sooner had he sat down on his bed when he heard a soft
sniffle coming from under the other.
“Legolas what are you doing under there?!”
“I’m tired of all these writers making jokes about my hair! Don’t they
know my feelings could be hurt?”
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The Ghost Story
When Boromir began to tell the hobbits a campfire ghost story,
Legolas
paid little attention for the ghosts of Men and their tales were of no
interest to him. However as the tale went on, the Elf found himself
increasingly more drawn into it until he too was eagerly listening.
Suddenly just as Boromir reached the spine chilling conclusion, Legolas
felt an icy wetness on the back of his neck which caused him to quickly
jump up while uttering a high pitched squeal scaring everyone else.
Red faced Legolas turned around in time to see Gimli holding their
picnic cooler.
The Television Show
Now Sam kept having this feeling that someone was following them
while
Sméagol led him and Frodo out of Emyn Muil. So when he turned
around to look he was surprised to see a small group of men with
television camera equipment filming their every move.
“Mr. Frodo who are they?”
Now Frodo turned to look.
“Oh that’s just the television film crew for “Survivor Hobbit”. I think
it was Lord Elrond’s idea. A real money maker he said.”
“Poor, poor Sméagol! He be on television without his
precioussss!”
Frodo and Sam looked at each other before rolling their eyes.
What Really Happened Before Aragorn Was Crowned King
Gandalf in all his many years here in Middle-earth had thought he
had
seen everything. But what he was witnessing now totally floored him.
Actually he was on his hands and knees looking under Aragorn’s bed.
“There is no time for this foolishness!” he said sternly.
“You could tell everyone that I’ve come down with a rare disease,”
Aragorn said the fear obviously in his voice.
“I most certainly will not!”
“BUT I STILL DON’’T WANT TO BE KING!”
Gandalf sighed. And people wonder why a wizard’s hair and beard were
white.
top
Pippin’s Worst Nightmare
Pippin was hungry. Now it was the middle of the night so he quietly
climbed out of bed so as to not disturb Merry and headed for the
kitchen. However to his horror there was no food there at all! Not even
a crumb was left!
“AUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!” Pippin suddenly screamed as he sat up in bed.
“Pippin what’s the matter?” asked a sleepy Merry.
“I just had a nightmare. Go back to sleep.”
So Merry did but now Pippin was wide awake and hungry. Quietly he
climbed out of bed and headed for the kitchen. There was no food there.
The True Story of the Balrog and the Dwarves – A Drabble
When Gandalf the Grey told the Balrog he couldn’t pass over the
Bridge
of Khazad-dûm, the Balrog suddenly burst out crying his tears
disappearing into clouds of steam when they touched his fiery hide.
“But why can’t I play Follow the Leader too?” he howled.
Now the Fellowship looked at one another obviously confused.
“We thought you were chasing us,” Gandalf replied. “We heard the rumor
about you and the Dwarves.”
“The Orcs started that nasty rumor! I always get blamed for
everything!” wailed the Balrog.
From then on the Mines of Moria was a very fun place to visit.
Merry’s Curiosity – A Drabble
Now Merry could be just as curious as Pippin and right now it had
him
fully in its grip while he tiptoed down the night darkened hallway
outside the guest rooms there at Edoras. When he reached Legolas’s room
he quietly opened the door and slipped inside. Then he cautiously
approached the bed his heart pounding with fear at being discovered
while he looked down.
The Elf’s eyes were open. “So they did sleep that way!” he thought.
Suddenly he froze in fear after he had turned to leave when he heard
Legolas softly chuckle before saying “Good night Merry.”
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Aragorn’s Nightmare – A Drabble
When Aragorn saw Arwen and Éowyn talking to one another in
whispers off to one side at the combination coronation/wedding
reception, his was curious as to what they were saying. So carefully he
made his way unseen by them till he was close enough to hear. Suddenly
his face went deathly white when he saw Éowyn hand Arwen a small
slip of paper.
“Aragorn are you alright?” Legolas asked.
“My worst nightmare has followed me from Edoras.”
“What nightmare?”
A terrified Aragorn looked at Legolas and said in a trembling voice
“Éowyn has given Arwen the recipe for her stew!”
Legolas’s Secret – A Drabble
“Legolas you have got to tell me!” Pippin exclaimed while the Elf
and
Hobbit stood outside the Golden Hall at Edoras one sunny afternoon.
“Tell you what?” the Elf replied not looking at the Hobbit but at a
spot far off in the distance.
“Oh come on! You know exactly what I mean!”
“I’m afraid I don’t.”
“Yes you do! Please tell me! They say curiosity killed the cat.”
Now Legolas looked down at Pippen. “You look healthy to me,” the Elf
replied with a smile.
Pippin sighed obviously disappointed. “And they say Dwarves are
stubborn,” he thought to himself.
Legolas’s Secret Part 2 – A Drabble
“Legolas won’t tell me Merry.”
“Then maybe he’ll tell me Pip.”
So the two Hobbits quickly join the Elf who is still standing outside
the Golden Hall at Edoras.
“Now Legolas I can see no reason why you couldn’t tell me,” Merry said
in a coaxing tone of voice.
“Tell you what?” the Elf replied while smiling down at them.
“There he goes again!” Pippin exclaimed obviously exasperated.
Suddenly a noisy group of children playing tag distracts Merry and
Pippin’s attention away from the Elf for a few minutes. When the
children have gone the Hobbits discover so has Legolas.
Legolas’s Secret Part 3 – A Drabble
“Legolas won’t tell us Gimli,” Merry and Pippin said together to
the Dwarf later that evening in the Great Hall.
“I can’t see why he would want to keep THAT a secret!” Gimli replied
obviously surprised.
So the Dwarf agreed to help the Hobbits get their answer and they set
out to find Legolas. However what Merry, Pippin, and Gimli don’t know
is that the Elf in question is standing nearby in the shadows by one of
the pillars and has overheard their conversation which caused him to
smile. He is having too much fun to answer their question yet.
Legolas’s Secret the Conclusion – A
Drabble
After much searching during which Gimli grumbled that he thought
Legolas was deliberately hiding from them, they found the Elf standing
once again outside the Golden Hall gazing at the stars.
“Listen here you pointy-eared Prince! I want you to answer the Hobbit’s
question and be quick about it for the hour grows late!” Gimli growled
obviously hot under the helmet.
Legolas looked down at his three friends and smiled.
“I’ll answer their question although I don’t understand all the
interest,” the Elf replied. Then he bent down and whispered to all of
them “I’m 2,931 years old,” he said.
top
Gimli’s Secret Revealed – A Drabble
“Why do you keep looking at my back?” Gimli asked Legolas while
they were at the victory party in Edoras.
“I was wondering where your wings had disappeared to,” the Elf replied
as he bent down to take a closer look.
“Wings! I haven’t any wings! No doubt this fine ale has gone to your
head!” Gimli snorted loudly.
“I saw you flying through the air to reach the ramp before the gate at
Helm’s Deep. But if you have no wings then that means Aragorn had to
toss you!”
Inwardly Gimli groaned to himself. The Elf had found out!
The Sign – A Drabble
Now Gimli had made up his mind to keep his eyes on Legolas while the
Fellowship departed Rivendell. No doubt he would try to take the Ring
for himself since you can’t trust elves. Still despite his
surreptitious vigilance it was pointed out to him on the second day of
their journey by one of the Hobbits that he had a paper sign duct taped
to his back.
So after peeling the sign off, Gimli growled angrily under his breath
when he read “NEVER TRUST A DWARF” written in large red letters.
The blasted Elf knew he was being watched!
The Squabble – A Drabble
Gandalf the Grey’s patience was beginning to wear thin but he knew that
the Fellowship would need their help. Still this constant squabbling
back and forth while they walked couldn’t be allowed to continue.
“ENOUGH!!” he angrily bellowed at Legolas and Gimli which quieted them.
“I have had it with you two. Now Legolas I want you up here with me
while Gimli you walk behind with Aragorn.”
However before Legolas could join the Wizard, Gimli gleefully reached
out and touched the Elf with his finger.
“He touched me again Gandalf!”
The Wizard sighed. This would be a long journey.
top
ZZZZZZZZ – A Drabble
The silence in the Mines of Moria only served to magnify any little
sound the Fellowship made. So when this hideous rhythmic moaning began
to echo about the chamber where they were resting, Aragorn and Legolas
immediately began to search for the source since they were on watch.
“If we were not underground I would say that sounds like some poor cow
dying,” Aragorn said.
“No it’s much worse than that,” Legolas said while covering his
sensitive ears with his hands. “Please make him stop!”
“Make who stop?” Aragorn asks as the moaning grows steadily louder.
“The Dwarf is snoring!”
A Hair Raising Tale
(not a drabble, but close enough....)
While Frodo was off with Galadriel looking into her mirror, Pippin woke
up from a sound sleep when his stomach rumbled from hunger. So as quiet
as a mouse he went over to a table where some fruit in a bowl sat. Just
as he was about to reach for an apple, he heard Legolas’s soft voice
saying “51…52…53…54…55…” coming from behind the tree the Fellowship was
sleeping under.
Of course this aroused the hobbit’s curiosity so he peeked around the
tree and saw Legolas sitting there with his back to him counting each
brush stroke as he brushed his hair!
“56…57…58…59…60…” the Elf continued seemingly unaware of Pippin
standing there watching him.
Now this got the hobbit to thinking. If this was the secret to how
Legolas kept his long locks looking so cool than why wouldn’t it work
for him! And then he could drive his female fans just as wild as the
Elf did with his and maybe even woo some away from the Elf!
So Pippin found a hair brush and began to vigorously brush his curly
locks. However his brushing didn’t produce the desired result he had in
mind. And in the morning he had to endure the laughter from everyone
for all his brushing did was make his hair so incredibly fuzzy that it
looked like an afro! Fortunately dousing it with water returned it back
to its normal curly self and he vowed out loud to never again to try
brushing his hair like Legolas again.
As for Legolas he only smiled and nodded in approval. You never want to
mess with this Elf’s fan base…
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The Unexpected Visitor - A Drabble
Silivren_Ithildin was sitting at her desk trying to write another
drabble but her Muse was on a coffee break.
“You could write about my hair,” Aragorn suddenly suggested.
Startled Sil looked up to find the smiling Ranger standing in front of
her next to some cut flowers in a vase.
“Aragorn!” was all she could manage to squeak out.
“In the flesh!” he said triumphantly while the flowers in the vase
suddenly wilted due to the rather strong smell of something going
unwashed for a very long time.
Embarrassed Aragorn quickly wished her good luck on her drabble and
left.
Bilbo’s Advice – A Drabble
Primula the Moderator was sitting behind her curtain drumming her
fingers on her desk angry that her Muse had suddenly gone on a leave of
absence right now when she had the time to write.
“I find a nice walk through the Shire does wonders for writer’s block,”
Bilbo’s voice said suddenly from behind her.
Startled Primula swiveled around in her chair and actually saw the
grey-haired hobbit standing there smiling at her.
“Or going on an adventure Primula! But be watchful for dragons along
the way!”
Then Bilbo politely excused himself and disappeared through the curtain
leaving Primula stunned.
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The Nickname - A Drabble
Legolas sighed out of frustration. From the beginning he knew that it
was the Dwarf who had been filling the four Hobbit’s minds full of
nonsense about Elves. Fortunately the Ring Bearer had also recognized
this and explained to the other three that Elves don’t drool and can
hit a broad side of a barn with their arrows. But there was nothing
this Hobbit could do to stop them from calling Legolas by this nickname
the Dwarf had conjured up.
“LEGGGGGGYYY!” the three Hobbits called gleefully.
Legolas winced. Then he wondered if anyone would notice if the Dwarf
went missing.
Frodo’s Eyes – A Drabble
Now the real reason Frodo left the Fellowship was because of those big
blue adorable eyes of his. One look into them made the viewer feel all
mushy inside and created such a powerful irresistible urge to hug the
Hobbit that he was in danger of being squeezed to death. Naturally this
made everyone in the all male group feel very uncomfortable after such
displays of emotion. So they blind folded the Hobbit and tried to carry
him like a sack of potatoes thrown over their shoulders. But after
repeatedly dropping him on his head he knew he must leave.
The Gulls – A Drabble
Now when Legolas heard the gulls cry above him at Pelargir he
immediately longed to go to the sea. But Tolkien had it wrong when he
wrote that he longed to sail from these shores to Valinor. Instead this
Elf’s longing was now producing in his mind images of perfect waves
rolling in towards Middle-earth's sandy beaches under a bright blue sky.
“If I had only known before the Fellowship had left Rivendell that I
would be hearing gulls, I could’ve picked up that cool surf board I saw
there,” he sighed out loud to himself.