Weeping For Memory

by Queen of Gondor


The first stars were beginning to become unveiled from the few clouds in the slowly darkening sky. The waves hit the shore gently and carried the small parts of sand off into the sea. A faint glimmer of the moon shone in the dark sea, lighting the beach ever so slightly.

Salt was on the wind as the figure moved slowly to the shoreline. He could taste the tang of it, and felt the soft wind blow his dark hair around his face. At last he stood, staring directly, passionately, into the sea. For a moment his heart seemed to be filled, where it had not been filled before; a great desire awoke within him to walk further in, a great desire to be one with the sea, to feel the waters coolness, and softness.

He strove to move his feet and walk slightly into the water where the waves were hitting the shore, yet his feet would not move. Stuck they were to ground, not wanting to move, cutting off any source of desire to be within the great water.

At last he gave up and accepted merely gazing at the water from where he stood. He looked up at the stars briefly, and a light shone in his eyes. As he looked back down a tear fell from his eye and landed upon the sand. As he watched it, a wave washed it away into the ocean. Perhaps the great sea had just stolen away the last of his tears. No more would he weep, for there were no more tears to be spent.

Then he felt it, the soft coolness of the water against his feet, and he realised it had not come to him upon the shore, but that while he had been consumed in his thoughts, he had moved into the water, wanting to be closer. Closer to what? He thought hard, his hand trembling at his side as he moved ever more into the water.

When he was knee deep he saw it. Another tear dripped down his face, and landed upon the water, mixing to become one. And as he gazed at the tear, another fell. He looked up at the now black sky, and as he saw the many stars, he wept…

~~~~~

Elrond now awoke. He felt the breeze drifting in through his open window. He moved to shut it, but instead moved through the door and onto the moonlit terrace. He gazed East at the mountains, deep thoughts overcoming him about his dream.

But he would never get past the thoughts, nor the dream. For it had a message in it, yet he discarded all messages within in, for he was needed elsewhere, to dwell within dreams was to give up, and he would not give up.

He averted his gaze from the mountains, and gazed up at the sparkling sky. Some described the majesty of if it’s darkness, and it’s beauty of the stars like mithril, yet Elrond knew that mithril did not do the majestic sky well enough. The sky meant more to him then any mithril mined in the deeps of the world, the sky was not some prize, it was like a jewel. Jewels could be dark, and bright, and hold many wonders, and that was the sky. A jewel for all to behold.

He felt something stir inside of him. A great longing for something. His gaze remained fixed upon the sky, and he remembered.

Her face. Like the stars it was to him. Bright, welcoming, and ever smiling. He blinked away a tear. He could see her face. Her dark hair upon her shoulders, her slender figure, her smile. Her eyes. Her eyes were like the stars: bright, shining, sparkling.

‘No’, he thought, ‘I must not remember…’ And he heard another voice.

‘That which is not remembered is forgotten. Remembrance is what keeps all living. Do not forget…’

As the voice fell away, he could feel the breeze again. Warm against his skin, like her touch. But he stopped.

He could hear the faint rustle of the wind in the leaves, and the music from the surrounding waterfalls.

Like a song her voice was. Melodious and joyful, yet sometimes dark and despairing. Once only had he caught sight of his beloved singing darkly…

Elrohir and Elladan had rescued her, and she was healing slowly, from the gentle hands of Elrond. She was lying upon her bed, and the moonlight fell down upon her, lighting her face. And as Elrond had approached the doorway, he had stopped when he had heard her voice. He hoped it would be the music of joy that she oft would sing, but it was not.

Her voice was soft, yet her words were dark and in despair she was. And at that moment, Elrond had realised that she would no longer be with him till the ends of the world, for her heart would not heal here. He knew she would make the journey, and as he did not want to bear it, he had no other choice.

Elrond had left the doorway and returned to his study, still hearing his beloved’s dark words in his mind, and he had wept, for he knew that he would see her as she had once been, no more…

Elrond was brought back to the present as he felt a tear land upon his hand which lay on the railing. He felt deep within his heart that dark days were fast approaching.

‘If I remember thee, I will forget all else.’ He sighed and listened to the music which was the wind amongst the leaves. ‘I can still see your face, as it was long ago in better times, but your voice….’ He faltered for a moment, ‘your voice is but a memory, I can remember the songs you used to sing, the words you used to speak, but no longer can I hear the sound of it, for that is gone from my mind. I would weep for thee now, but my tears are spent.’

He stood silent now, not looking at anything, just looking away. And he knew now within his heart that the message from his dream was to leave, was to return to his true home.

At last he spoke, before turning to return to his study.

‘No. I will not weep again. I will not weep for memory.’