Frodo set down his pen and sighed, staring out
the window. It was finished. His part of the story was complete; there
was nothing left to write. There were plenty of pages left, of course, but
they were not for him.
He had just recently made the decision to leave...soon. He couldn’t stay. He wished he could, but it just didn’t seem possible. If not because of his own wounds, then because of Sam. Sam had Rose and little Elanor; and they didn’t need to be worrying about him and taking care of him.
No, he was through; his part had ended.
He looked back down at the book, and with a sigh, he closed it. The rest of it would be for Sam; he would have a wonderful life, and he could carry on the story.
Upon hearing a light knock at the door, Frodo turned to see Sam peering in.
"Dinner's ready," Sam told him. He noticed the book on the table, and a pen setting nearby, "Though, if you're busy, I can bring it in here..."
Frodo smiled at Sam's thoughtfulness and understanding. He shook his head, "Thank you, Sam, but that won't be necessary." Standing up, he added, "I'm finished in here..."
"Alright then," Sam smiled happily. "Rose says to hurry up."
"I’ll be out in just a moment," Frodo assured him, and he left.
Frodo stared at the spot where Sam had just stood, plenty of different emotions running through him. He would dearly miss Sam; his true friend! And he knew Sam would miss him, as well. Sam would have to know, though. But how could you tell your best friend, your closest friend, that you would be leaving...Forever! How could you face the sadness in their eyes?
An unpleasant feeling of regret grew in Frodo. Maybe he shouldn’t go...it would not only hurt him, but Sam as well...maybe he should stay after all.
No! Of course, Sam would hurt, but he would overcome that. He had a family to love, he could heal of this hurt. It would pass. And, perhaps, he might even leave, someday, too. And then they would see each other again. But he couldn't tell Sam now; if he told Sam now, if he had to watch the sadness that would surely creep into his friends' eyes, Frodo would certainly change his mind! But he couldn't do that! Sam might not understand his reasons, but he couldn't change his mind... He would have to wait to tell Sam; he just couldn't tell him quite yet.
"Frodo..." Sam's voice cut through his thoughts.
"Yes, Sam?" Frodo asked, coming out of his daze.
"Are you coming?" Sam asked curiously.
"Oh, yes, of course," picking up the book, he placed it onto a shelf. As he walked out past Sam, he admitted, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking."
"It must have been something important," Sam told him. "You hadn't moved since I was there last!"
"Yes, it was rather important," Frodo admitted. "And I must talk to you...later. After dinner, perhaps?"
"Alright," Sam agreed, somewhat bewildered.
Frodo watched contently as Rose spoon-fed little Elanor. Frodo wished he could see her grow up; wished he could see all of Sam's children, and watch them grow up. But, of course, that wouldn't be possible. They would probably know of him, though. He trusted Sam would keep the tales alive. With all of Sam's stories, those children would certainly feel as if they really knew Frodo!
"It's going to get cold, if you don't start eating it," Rose said to him sternly, though not without a small smile.
"I'm sorry," he chuckled. "I just have a lot on my mind!"
"Are you alright, Mister Frodo?" Sam asked slowly.
"Certainly," Frodo told him. "I've just been thinking a bit."
Sam nodded, though he wasn't quite sure if Frodo really was alright. Frodo continued to remain silent throughout the meal, and Sam was worried.
"Would you like to go for a walk now, Sam?" Frodo asked, when dinner was finished. "We can have that talk."
"Yes...alright," Sam agreed; maybe Frodo would tell him what was bothering him...
But, to his disappointment, Frodo remain quiet for a while, apparently still thinking.
"What did you want to talk to me about?" Sam asked, trying to disguise his worry.
"Well, I was just thinking, that..." Frodo began, but didn't know how to put his thoughts into words. At least, not without giving away his plans. "I just...well..."
Sam stared at Frodo curiously, trying to be patient.
"Things are different now, than they were before..." Frodo said slowly. "I'm one of them." He took a deep breath, and hoped he could say what he intended. "I know I'm not always as happy as I used to be, and I know I tend to distance myself sometimes," he said sadly. "But you always...you never...well, you just...you don't treat me any differently," he fumbled for words. "I know there must be times when you're hurting...because of me. But, you know, I never intend to hurt you," he looked at Sam seriously. "And still, you don't hold it against me...you..."
"Mister Frodo," Sam wiped a tear away. "I could never treat you differently, just because your mood seems to change sometimes," Sam assured him. "And as for hurting...I only really hurt when you do; it hurts me to see you suffer, to see you in pain, whether physical or emotional."
"I know, Sam, and I..." Frodo's voice broke. That was one of the reasons he had to leave; he couldn't keep on hurting Sam in that way. "You saw the worst of me when we were on the quest, and yet, you don't think any less of me..."
"How could I?" Sam asked, surprised. How could Frodo think anything like that? He was a hero in Sam's eyes!
Frodo tried to hold back his tears, and failed. As one slipped down his cheek, he sighed and looked at Sam sincerely. He knew Sam cared. "Thank you..." he whispered. He sighed, that was what he had wanted to say! He had wanted to thank Sam for everything; for sticking by him...for helping him...for caring...for being a friend...
"Oh, Mister Frodo, you don't..." Sam started, but Frodo held up his hand.
"Don't say that a 'thank you' isn't needed, Sam," Frodo interrupted him. "I wanted to say it, and I feel that it is needed. You’ve done so much..."
"I..." Sam didn’t know what to say.
Frodo noticed Sam was speechless, and took it as the end of that matter. He had had a little talk with Sam, and he had said what he had intended. Now that his feelings were out, he felt better, yet now he was much more reluctant to leave. "Why don't we go home, now?"
Home. Yes, it would be his home...for a few more days, at least. This would hurt Sam at first, but in the end, he would be happy with his family. That's what Frodo wanted; after all Sam had done, he deserved to be happy...