A Bit of Pointless Nonsense During Lunch

by DoctorGamgee


Frito and Spam: The Snack Gate Opens

Frito and Spam eyed the Snack Gate which led to Larder, Land of Curly Fries.

“There’s all Rinds of Porks in there, Mr. Frito,” Spam whispered. “

“Yes,” replied Frito, “but we can’t get to Kraut Doom without going to Larder, and I don’t know another way we can defeat the Dark Gourd. I wish the Onion Ring had never come to me.”

I agree, but with Leg-o-lamb and the rest we set off, and here we are, so we might as well get it done.

“Onion rings to rule them all,
Onion rings to find them
Onion rings to fill them all
And in triglycerides bind them

In the kitchen Larder
With the Curly Fries.

Can-a-corn, Leg-o-lamb and Green Tea followed the trail where the Rind of Porks cut through the land of the Goat’s Milk-Skim.

Suddenly, Can-a-corn stopped them, and ran off to the side. When he returned, he brought them a token. “It seems they are yet live. Here is the elfin cookie that Gal-of Snack-Well gave them, and we are leeks away from where the hollow tree grows. I am guessing it was Pepper, by the size of the prints, but it may have been Dairy. They are making a straight line for Ising Guard, where CheezeWiz Saladman the Lite sits in PorkFranc.

“Porks run fast on cloven feet,” said Leg-o-lamb, “and we are loosing them.”

Green Tea growled, “I have my seed-oil flax, and I can run as well as Leg-o-lamb. Let’s hunt some Pork!”

They sped off after Dairy and Pepper, in hope of finding them a chive.

Meanwhile, the hot-bits had entered the forest of CreamedCorn, and met up with the old Mint, Free-range. The shepherd of the Teas had called for a Mint-float, and most of the remaining Mints came. After what seemed a long time to the hot-bits, but “almost Tasty” to the Mints, they started out towards PorkFranc to face Saladman the Cheezewhiz. The old Mints sang as the went:

To Icing Guard, to Icing Guard!
To break the hold of Porks and Lard!
With Gummi Bears and Candy Hard,
We go we go we go to war!
To break the walls of Icing Guard!

And as the Mints Marched, much to Dairy and Pepper’s surprise, the bags of tea followed the shepherds, as they headed off to face Saladman.

To be continued ?

- Doctor Gamgee