Gandalf got knocked over by a Balrog
(To the tune of Grandma got Run Over by a Reindeer)

Gandalf got knocked over by a Balrog,
crossing over the Bridge of Khazad-Dhum,
now maybe Gandalf should have moved aside,
but the Balrog still would have taken too much room.

He'd been running all day and night,
and we begged him to come quick,
but he just stood there on that bridge,
and began banging on it with his big old stick.

When we found him back in Fangorn,
he told us how he was attacked,
he had burn marks on his forehead,
and incriminating whip marks on his back.

Oh, Oh, Oh.

Gandalf got knocked over by a Balrog,
crossing over the Bridge of Khazad-Dhum,
now maybe Gandalf should have moved aside,
but the Balrog still would have taken too much room.

Now he's got a different outfit,
yes he's totally dressed in white,
when we asked him about his grey clothes,
he just shrugged and said he lost them in the fight.

So warn all your friends and neighbors,
better watch out for yourselves,
you should never go into Moria,
unless you bring a horde of friendly elves.

Oh, Oh, Oh.

Gandalf got knocked over by a Balrog,
crossing over the Bridge of Khazad-Dhum,
now maybe Gandalf should have moved aside,
but the Balrog still would have taken too much room.

Ballad to the Balrog from Gandalf
(to the tune of Some Like it Hot)

We want to run and hide, are you gonna do it
I know you'll burn my hide, are you gonna do it
We are so terrified, are you gonna do it
We have to get outside, are you gonna do it

Feel the heat, pushing you to decide
Feel the heat, burning you up, ready or not

Some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on
Some feel the heat and decide that they can't go on
Some like it hot, but you can't tell how hot till you try
Some like it hot, and the balrog will make us fry

The hobbits are at my side, are you gonna do it
I want those orcs to die, are you gonna do it
They seem to multiply, are you gonna do it
You wont get that ring, until you do it

Feel the heat, pushing you to decide
Feel the heat, burning you up, ready or not

Some like it hot and some sweat when the heat is on
Some feel the heat and decide that they can't go on
Some like it hot, but you can't tell how hot till you try
Some like it hot, and the balrog will make us fry

How you gonna do it?
Go ahead and do it
Go ahead
Feel the heat, pushing you to decide
Feel the heat, burning you up, ready or not

Some like it hot, some like it hot.

A John Denver Balrog Song
(to the tune of Country Roads)

It's not heaven, Mines of Moria
Dank and dusty
Smells of old dead bodies.
There are things there
More evil than the dark,
Don't arouse them
What's that I hear, Hark!

T'is a Balrog!
Ai! Ai! Ai!
Far away,
We now must fly!
T'is a Balrog,
Durin's Bane.
Quickly run.
Keep from the flame!

I hear it now as it thunders down the passageways
Roaring flame and smoke it sheds a glow to light the way.
The acrid stench of brimstone fills the air, and me
I wish that I had been home Yesterday....Yesterday....

T'is a Balrog,
Ai! Ai! Ai!
Far away
We now must fly.
T'is a Balrog,
Durin's Bane
Quickly run
Keep from the flame.

Bally-roggy Doodle
(Polly-wolly-doodle)

Oh, we went down South for to dump a Ring
Sing Bally-roggy doodle all the night
This Ring, it is a creepy thing
Sing Bally-roggy doodle all the night

Fare thee well, fare thee well,
Fare thee well, we’re in full flight!
For we're runnin’ to Khaza’dum for to flee that Flame of Udun,
Sing Bally-roggy doodle all the night

Oh, this Ring, it is so golden fair
Sing Bally-roggy doodle all the night
But it’s master’s from the darkest lair
Sing Bally-roggy doodle all the night

Fare thee well, fare thee well,
Fare thee well our wizard’s fight,
For we’re runnin’ to Khaza’dum for to flee that Flame of Udun,
Sing Bally-roggy doodle all the night.

Oh, we ran across that bridge so thin
Sing Bally-roggy doodle all the night
The bridge it broke and dropped them in.
Sing Bally-roggy doodle all the night

Fare thee well, fare thee well,
Fare thee well our wizard’s plight,
For we’re runnin’ past Khaza’dum for to flee that Flame of Udun,
Sing Bally-roggy doodle all the night.

On the Dark Side
To the tune of Elvis’ "In the Ghetto"

On a cold and gray Middle-Earth morn, another little baby Balrog is born, on the Dark Side... on the Dark Side.
And his momma cries.
Cause if there's one thing that she don't need, it's another little fire demon to feed, on the Dark Side.. on the Dark Side.

People don’t you understand, this demon needs a helping hand, or he’ll grow to kill a grey old wizard some day.
Now take a look at you and me, are we to blind to see, or do we simply turn around and run the other way.

Well Middle-Earth turns…
And a hungry little demon with a flaming nose plays in the brimstone as a hot wind blows on the Dark Side.. on the Dark Side.

And his hunger burns…
So he starts to roam the cave one night and he learns how to burn little dwarves on sight on the Dark Side.. on the Dark Side.

Then one night in clear confusion, he comes across an old fool, he strikes him down, but the bridge gets broke, he falls real far and it ain’t no joke, and his mama cries.

As the orcs gather round and stare in the pit,
they laugh and shout “You stupid git!”
on the Dark Side.. on the Dark Side.

As her demon dies,
On a cold and gray Middle-Earth morn, another little baby Balrog is born, on the Dark Side... on the Dark Side.

- The Foe Hammer

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