Sung to the Tune of....5

Contents of this page:

At the Council of Elrond - onone
The Ballad of a Lonely Orc - Rasputintx
It's Been a Long, Lonely Time - Misty Mountain Hopper
The Fellowship Crosses Caradhras - onone
Gimli Fighting - Wheathills
Gollum's Song - Mr. Underhill
Have Sword Will Travel - Jennan O Possums
Here's A Story - Celedor
Lockholes Prison Blues - Camellia Took
M is for the Mire the Goblins wade in - Lindorie
Sauron Went Down To the Shire - arianid
Sauron's Lament - Gimli's Goat
Song from Gandalf to Saruman - Wise Mithrandir
Why am I here today? - AragornLover1981
You see the world through old Saruman’s eyes - Hobbitlove


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It's Been a Long, Lonely Time
Tune: Rock And Roll (Bonham/Jones/Page/Plant)

It's been a long time since I ruled the world.
It's been a long time since I was with the Dark Lord.
Ooh, let me get it back, let me get it back,
Let me get it back, Frodo, where I come from.
It's been a long time, been a long time,
Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time. Yes it has.

It's been a long time since I’ve mastered Gollum,
Even Bilbo’s far away since the last time I saw him.
Carry me back, carry me back,
Carry me back, Frodo, where I come from.
It's been a long time, been a long time,
Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time.

Seems so long since I’ve given all a real fright
Or making men do things that really aren’t right,
Ignore your Sam, ignore your Sam,
Ignore your Sam, Frodo, put me on again.
It's been a long time, been a long time,
Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time

This awful classic rock twist goes out to Little Elf, Jata, Lyria, Namarie, Wheathills, and Calafalas.
- Misty Mountain Hopper
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"Why am I here today?"
(to the tune of "Who'll Stop the Rain" by CCR )

Long as I remember Gandalf's been coming round
Tellin' stories of my uncle and the Ring that he had found
60 years since that day when he stole the Ring away
And I wonder, Still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

The Ring has come to me now. A long story must be told
Of how we came to Mordor. Just watch as it unfolds.
How 9 of us had started out from Rivendell that day.
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

We passed the gates of Moria and the Bridge of Khazad-dum
We lost our leader, Gandalf, to a Balrog; it is true
But we escaped to Lorien. Haldir showed us the way.
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

Galadriel came to me. She said the quest depends on me.
I must destroy the One Ring so that all may still be free.
Cause if I don't destroy it, Sauron will have his way!
But I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

We went out from Lothlorien to the hill of Amon Hen
We got ambushed by Uruks and a bunch of orcs again
Sam and I escaped and left the Fellowship behind
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

Sam and I got lost in the hills of Emyn Muil
We met the creature Gollum who lead us out of those dark hills.
He told us he would show us the way to the Black Gate
But I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

We reached the gates of Mordor but weren't able to get through.
Gollum said there was another secret pathway that he knew.
First a path and some stairs, and then a dark tunnel.
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

While trav'ling through Ithilien we saw some evil men
Marching east to Mordor; we knew the war began
But Faramir and his men brought them all to their knees
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

Faramir did bind us! We were captives of Gondor.
I said I knew his brother. He wanted to know more.
But he knew more than I did. He said that he was dead.
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

Gollum lead us to the path that lead to the stairs
We reached the tunnel entrance; we could smell the putrid air
It was completely dark and damp. We had to fumble on our way.
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

Not far into the darkness Gollum gave us the slip
And if I ever catch him, I'll throw him in a pit
Cause after he had left us, we heard creatures in the dark.
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

I held up the light of Earendil that Galadriel gave to me
We found it wasn't orcs once the light helped us see
What we saw that day will haunt my dreams forever more
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

What we saw in Cirith Ungol shall not be told as lies
The creature that approached us had huge green piercing eyes
We realized that it was the spider called Shelob
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

Sam tried his best to save me but the spider did her deed
She pierced me in the neck and Sam thought that I was dead.
Some orcs came and took me to the Tower of Cirith Ungol
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

When I awoke I found that I was trapped by the orcs.
Where had my poor Samwise got to with our spoons and forks?
But while sitting in the tower, I heard someone rummaging below
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

I looked out of the window and to my great surprise
I saw the happy smile of my dear best friend Samwise
After the greatest struggle we escaped the tower guards
But I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

I won't go into details of how we got this far
How we left the tower that night and how we saw Sauron's men of war
But now we're inside Mount Doom and now I have a choice to make
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

My brain is telling me to destroy the Ring right now
But my heart just won't let me and I just do not know how
So I put the Ring on my finger to help me clear my head
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

Once the Ring was on I felt the weight pull me down
I felt like I was dying, like the way my parents drowned
And then all of a sudden my finger was bitten off
And I wonder, still I wonder
Why'm I here today?

Gollum started dancing wildly, he had claimed the ring again
At first I was so angry, but you should've seen what happened then
Gollum fell into the fire. Couldn't believe tis how it'd end
But I know now, yes I know now
Why I'm here today.

AL1981 takes her guitar off her shoulder and takes one deep breath before passing out on stage
I think I got a little short winded at the end! Whew! I think I need some water!

- AragornLover 1981
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Sauron Went Down To the Shire
  parody on Charlie Daniels' "Devil Went Down to Georgia"

*Ari whips out a fiddle.*
Ari: Sorry guys, just had to do a fiddlin' piece what with me playin that instrument an all.

Sauron went down to the Shire, looking for a Ring to steal
In a bind an' way behind he was willin' to make a deal.
He came across this hobbit dancin the funky chicken, gettin it hot
An' Sauron jumped on a hickory stump an' said 'I'll tell ya what'
I guess you didn't know it, I'm a break dancer too,
and if you care to take a dare I make a bet with you.
Now you do a real good pop-and-lock boy, but give Sauron his due,
I'll bet a Ring against your sanity 'cause i think i'm better then you.

The hobbit said my name's Frodo, it might be a sin, i'll take your bet
You're gonna regret, I'm the best I've ever been.

Frodo loosen up your legs an' do the splits down low
'cause Mordor's broke loose in the Shire an' Sauron deals the blows.
Now if you win you'll get this Ring of gold,
but if you loose Sauron gets your sanity!

Sauron turned on a boom box and said 'i'll start this gig'
and fire flew from his feet as he heated it up quick.
He spun on his head across the woods as the juke box made a hiss
Then his peeps, the orcs, joined in and it looked somthing like this

When Sauron finished Frodo said 'You're pretty good ol' son,
but sit down in that chair right there let me show you how it's done!'

Fire on the mountain run boy's run!
Sauron's in the house of the risen sun!
Pipeweed in the wood & Frodo won't go slow!
Farmer Maggot does your dog bite, no child, no!


Sauron bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat,
and he laid Ring of gold on the ground at Frodo's feet.
Frodo said 'Sauron you be waitin cuz I'm gonna destroy this ring of sin,
I done told you once you evil dark lord i'm the best I've ever been!'

Fire on the mountain run boy's run!
Sauron's in the house of the risen sun!
Pipe weed in the wood & Frodo won't go slow!
Farmer Maggot does your dog bite, no child, no!
- arianid
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T
o the tune of Fooling yourself by Styx

You see the world through old Saruman’s eyes
You're a troubled old worm I can tell
You've got it all in the palm of your hand
But your hand's wet with sweat and your head needs shampoo

And you won’t get Eowyn if you don't believe it
You're kidding yourself if you don't believe it
How can you be such an ugly old worm
When just a shower would help you so much
How can there be such a sinister plan
That could turn such a guy, into a skanky old worm

You won’t get Eowyn if you don't believe it
You're kidding yourself if you don't believe it
Get up, get back on your feet
You just need a face job and you know it
Come on, let's see what you've got
Just put down the hanky and don't blow it

You won’t get Eowyn if you don't believe it
You're killing your chances if you don't believe it
Get up, get back on your feet
You just need some new threads and you know it
Come on, let's see what you've got
Just put down the hanky and don't blow it
- Hobbitlove
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Gimli Fighting
(To the tune of 'Greased Lightning'..................)

Well, this Dwarf is quite erratic, he's a Tolkien fanatic, his beard is static...
Why! It's Gimli Fighting!!! (Gimli Fighting!)

We'll get a Rrright Rrroyal Welcome at the Moria Mines, oh yeah
(Keep Dwarfing, whoa keep Dwarfing..)
Orcs'll have their limbs off in the film several times, oh yeah
(I'll pluck your eyebrows, you need to pluck your eyebrows)
When you're running cross the Moor you keep sweating on the floor,
Your best friend is an Elf and an axe protects yourself
It's Gimli Fighting
(go go go, gogogogogo)

Go Gimli Fighting, you're catching up with Legolas
(Go Gimli, go go Gimli)
Go Gimli Fighting, slaying Uruk-Hai to death on mass
(Go Gimli, go go Gimli)
A Dwarf Supreme, our Mean Machine,
Is Gimli Fighting!


**twiddles thumbs, looks hopefully around for someone to share a bottle of lemonade**
- Wheathills
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Hi guys, this is sorta sung to the tune of a, um, ‘song’, but if none of you know then I’m not telling! Dedicated to Sauron, poor lamb…

Sauron’s Lament

I’ve been having a bad, bad day
Minas Tirith is still standing, they say
They have the ring! It isn’t right, it isn’t fair
I think I’ve done more than my share
I’ve brought Darkness, don’t they care?
My evil plans have been laid bare
Could this be Isildur’s heir?

I’ve been having such a bad, bad week
Where is this ring that I forever seek?
Those horsey men have stemmed my flow
Of uruk-hai, doncha know?
I fear my minions are quite slow!
That Saruman they’ll overthrow
Who is that elf-lord with his bow?

I’ve been having such a bad, bad time
Finding words in this lament to rhyme
The Gnomes are better at this than me
But they will fail when I control the Three!
Not one on Middle-earth will go free
Blast! I’d forgotten about Fangorn the tree
And who could that little dwarf-man be?
- Gimli's Goat
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The Hobbit In Black steps up to the karaoke machine *ahem*
  The tune of Folsom Prison Blues, please ...

(I imagine Fatty Bolger trying to peep out of the bars of the Lockholes, seeing the carts go by carrying all the food and goods out of the Shire that have been "gathered" by Sharkey's men; Fatty's starving and dreaming of revenge on Lotho Sackville-Baggins; needs a couple more verses) ; )

Lockholes Prison Blues

I hear that cart a rollin', it's rollin' 'round the bend
And I ain't smelled a sausage in I don't know when
'Cause I'm stuck in Lockholes Prison and time keeps draggin' by
When I hear those carts a rollin' I hang my head and cry

I bet that Chief he's eating sausage, eggs, potatoes, stew
He's slurping ale and Winyards and smoking pipeweed too
While I'm stuck in Lockholes Prison and time keeps draggin' on
While those carts keep a rollin' on out of Hobbiton

When they free me from this prison, when that Bag End "Chief" is mine
You know that Lotho'll wish he'd got his fat tail out in time
Far from the Shire I'd run him, that's where he'd always stay
And that cart full of supper would roll my blues away

- Camellia Took
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T une of "My eyes are fully open" from Ruddygore by Gilbert and Sullivan
(also from the Kevin Kline version of Pirates of Penzance)


At the Council of Elrond:
Frodo:
My eyes are fully open to my awful situation:
I shall take the Ring to Mordor, but not without some hesitation.
I shall cast it in the mountain if I sneak past their defenses,
And I do not want to think about the pending consequences.
Now I do not want to perish by the sword or by the arrow,
'Cuz I thought that we were safe when we escaped from that dark barrow,
But although my knees will shake and although my teeth will chatter
I've got to take the Ring and so it really doesn't matter.

Elrond:
No it really doesn't matter (matter, matter, matter, matter)

Gandalf:
No it really doesn't matter (matter, matter, matter, matter)

Elrond:
No it really doesn't matter (matter, matter, matter, matter)

Gandalf:
No it really doesn't matter (matter, matter, matter, matter)

Frodo:
No it really doesn't matter….

Elrond:
No it really doesn't matter….

Elrond, Gandalf and Frodo:
No it really doesn't matter, matter, matter, matter, matter!

Aragorn:
If somehow by my life or death I manage to defend you
I would do it in an instant. I would really. I intend to!

Legolas:
And my bow is at your service, if its use you should require
I will join you on this mission, though the journey is most dire.

Gimli:
If an elf can make that promise, then a dwarf can't be outdone.
To represent my race, I'll go - just don't ask me to run!

Gandalf:
But I think you'll need my guidance, if I myself might flatter,
So I'll come along, and then you'll see what really doesn't matter.

Elrond:
No it really doesn't matter (matter, matter, matter, matter) etc.

Sam:
If Master Frodo's going, I am to - and don't you doubt me!
"Don't you leave him, Samwise," Gandalf said. So he can't go without me!

Merry:
Hey now! Wait a sec. We're coming, too. We're not asking your permission!

Pippin:
You'll need people of intelligence on this adventure...quest...thing...mission!

Boromir:
Well, Gondor swears to see this done, if it be the council's will.

Elrond:
Hmmm, nine companions now, plus their faithful pony, Bill.
Two men, an elf, a dwarf, a wizard and four hobbits fatter
Are the Fellowship of the One Ring and all that really matter!

Elf chorus:
Yes, they're all that really matter (matter, matter, matter, matter) etc.
- onónë
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Here's A Story
(to the tune of the Brady Bunch Theme)

Here’s the story....a guy named Baggins
And his travels with three very lovely friends
Had with him a Ring of Gold... like no other
On him the world depends

It’s the story... of a long beard waggin
And two men.. with troubles of their own
There was also... Legolas and Gimli
Yet they were all alone.

Till the one day when they journeyed to Imladris
And they knew not to give Elrond any lip,
When he said, “you all must form a family.”
That's the way they all became the Fellowship.

The Fellowship... the Fellowship
That's the waaaay they became the Fellowship

- Celedor
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Gollum's Song
sung to the tune of The Beverly Hillbillies

Let me tell you a story about a creature called Gollum,

Poor undermountain soul who's life had really hit the bottom,

Until one day as he was eating some slimey thing,

Off his hand and into the mud falls his precious ring,

Sauron's that is, Isildur's Bane, the Master Ring.........

Well the next thing you know ole Gollum starts to pout,

Cause Bilbo wanders in and carries his precious out,

Gollum realizes years later that he has no reason to stay,

So he loads up his stuff and goes a different way..............

- Mr. Underhill
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(sung to the tune of that really old song about Mothers which I vaguely remember)

M is for the Mire the Goblins wade in
O is for the Orcs both big and small.
R is for the Rancid air you breathe there
D is for Mt. Doom fiery and tall.
O is for the Ominous dark skies
R is for the Ringwraiths all in Black.

Put them all together they spell Mordor, A place that scares the dickens out of me.

- Lindorie
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The Ballad of a Lonely Orc
(to the tune of "Home, Home on the Range,")

Oh give me a home
Where Sauron's Eye roams
And the orcs and the oliphaunts play.
Where Nazgul take wing
Searching for the One Ring,
And the sky's black and smoky all day.

Home on the Gorgoroth Plain!
That's where my Orc-heart shall remain!
Where Sauron holds sway
Despite Gandalf the Grey,
And the sky's black and smoky all day.

- Rasputintx
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The Fellowship cross Caradhras
(tune of Climbing Ev'ry Rocky Mountain from Pirates of Penzance)

Fellowship:
Climbing over snowy mountain
Slipping on the frozen fountain
Tramping through the snow and icy blizzard!
Tramping through the snowy blizzard,
In the path of our dear wizard.
What we wouldn’t give to know if we’re all sane!
Dodging falling rock and boulder.

Pippin:
Will I live to be much older?

Fellowship:
Dodging, dodging rocks and falling boulders.
Scaling rough and rugged passes,
Climbing over stern Carathras.

Legolas:
Something tells me we’ll have to turn back again!

Fellowship:
Scaling rough and rugged passes,
Climbing over stern Carathras.
Something tells us we’ll have to turn back again!


But wait... there's more!

The Fellowship in the Mines of Moria (same tune)

Fellowship:
Climbing under Balin’s mountain
Where the dwarves mined mithril’s fountain
Going on though our legs start to quiver.
Going on though our legs quiver.

Gandalf:
Come along; we must go thither,
Past the depths where foul things slither
As we go, our silent tread we must maintain.

Fellowship:
Threading dark and dreary mazes,
Dotted with foreboding traces;
Dotted, dotted with foreboding traces.
Traversing rough and rugged tunnels,
Trek we all with our large bundles
Till the other side, we gain.
Traversing rough and rugged tunnels,
Trek we all with our large bundles
Till the other side, we gain.

Gandalf:
Let us bravely tread the measure,
Don’t think back on fleeting leisure,
Fulfill our quest to thwart that Eye
Though we perish by and by.

Fellowship:
Fulfill our quest to thwart that Eye
Though we perish by and by.

Aragorn:
Every moment brings us nearer
To our goal and what we fear – ur.
Though in a moment we may die,
Don’t give up hope as we fly,
Don’t give up hope as we fly.

Fellowship:
Though in a moment we may die,
Don’t give up hope as we fly.
-  onónë
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(Gandalf Voice Over) Saruman....
you were once my ally, mentor, and friend

(Song) So what happened then?
You once looked for wounds to mend
Now all you do is break and bend

Do you have some kind of point to prove?
You once enjoyed all the oceans so smooth
And now all you do is deny the truth

(Gandalf Voice Over) Saruman the trees of Fangorn have awakened.........

(Song) You once were called the Wisest......
You once were called the kindest......

And now you serve the Eye
You wanted me to die
Well guess what I died

And that was your fatal mistake

I have been reborn again
And this is how it ends
And now the dmage you've caused will mend

I've fallen through fire
Water
Earth
and Air

I've given you a reason to care

I've been reborn again
And this will spell your end
Saruman.....

(Saruman voice over) Gandalf the Grey comes to Isengard seeking my counsel, for that is why you've come, is it not?
(Gandalf voice over) This time, Saruman, Gandalf Greyhame comes to Isengard, not seeking your counsel!
- WiseMithrandir


"Have Sword will Travel"
To the theme from Have Gun Will Travel

"Have Sword will Travel"
Reads the scroll of a man.
A king without kingdom
In a northern Ithiien.
He fought orcs in far lands where he was not born
Man of the West, dour ranger, Aragorn.
Aragorn, Aragorn why do you roam,
Aragon, Aragorn far, far from home?
- Jennan O Possums

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