Middle-earth
A song to the tune of Veggie Tales

If you like to talk to Istari
If an Elf can make you smile
If you like to waltz with the Hobbits
Up and down old Bilbo's haaaaalllllls-

Have we got a place for you!

Middle-Eeeeearth, Miiiiidle-Eeeearth (x 7)
Mi-ddle-Earth.

Aragorn,
Boromir,
Legolas,
Middle-Earth.

Gandalf,
Frodo,
Samwise,
Middle-Earth.

Merry,
Pippin,
Gimli,
Middle-Earth.

There's never ever ever been a place like Middle-Earth.
There's never ever ever been a place like Middle-Earth.
Let's go to Miiiiddddllleee-Eeeeeeaaaaaarth!

One Tea Towel
to the tune of "Oom Pah-Pah" From Oliver!

Verse 1

Oh There's a little dity, they're singing in The Pony
Especially when drinking their pints and their goo
With a little aptience, your own emagination
Can drudge up a tea towel and a muu muu

Chorus

One Tea Towel, One Tea Towel
That's how it goes!
One Tea Towel, One tea Towel
Everyone knows!
They all suppose what they want to suppose
When they hear One Tea Towel!

Verse 2

Pretty LilBaggins, would often dream of Wagons
Bringing in suplies to The Prancing Pony
Frodo hopped aboard one, and LilBaggins scored one
Œcause she held The Tea Towel of Power in Bree

(Chorus)

Verse 3

Pretty little Rosie, was feeling mighty cozy
As she held The Tea Towel in her hand
Sean, he cuddled by her, and her heart was on fire
Cause he held her like there was no other in the land

(Chorus)

Verse 4
The Smurfs, they gather round us, dratted goo-lovers they found us
And are seriously making a mess of this room
But when we grab The Towel, and sing this with a howl
They run out and leave us with a bang and a boom

Oh where, oh where can my package be?
The Lord took it away from me.
It's gone to heaven and I've got to be good,
So I can see my CM Package when I leave this world.
oohhh oh oh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ...

Waking up on Amon Sul
Frodo saw the fire light
Stomped it out, cried "You fools!"
Told the hobbits to take flight
They were speechless, not one word
Drew their swords at Frodo's voice
Approaching Nazgul they observed
Left the bacon, had no choice
They could not believe their situation
They just had a rushed initiation
Their heads' saying DOOM! DOOM! DOOM!
"Hey," Pip said, "these black "things"
are circling all around."

To helpin' Frodo they resigned
His friends would save him if they could
Stepping forward in the line
Soon alone there Frodo stood
Dropped his sword and backed away
Tripped and fell onto his butt
Then the Nazgul came his way
Not one could the hobbit cut
Frodo felt the call of the One Ring
He put it on, stopped his fingering
His head going DOOM! DOOM! DOOM!
"Hafling," the Nazgul said, "We'll stab you through
and then we'll take The Ring."
To Mordor

Strider finally appeared
But where in Middle-earth was he?
With flaming brands he showed no fear
‘Til Weathertop was finally clear
He rushed to Frodo, the poor dear
His big blue eyes showed pain and fear
His friends knew naught of Elf first-aid
And they were now too far from Bree
Frodo was stabbed by a Morgul blade
Strider knew what the frown on Frodo's face meant
His heart aching DOOM! DOOM! DOOM!
"Hey," he said, "Hurry up you three,
we've got to get to Elrond's home."

(Stop.)
Oh yes, wait a minute, dear Old Gaffer.
(Wait.)
Wait, our Old Gaffer.

Please, Mister Gaffer, look and see
(Oh, yeah.)
If there's a package in the box for me.
(Please, Please, Mister Gaffer.)
Why's it takin' such a long time
(Oh, yeah.)
For me to hear from that Fan Club of mine?

There must be some word today
From Decipher so far away.
Please, dear Old Gaffer, look and see
If there's a package, a litho for me.

We've been camped out here waitin' with you, Gaffer
So patiently
For just a 'zine, or just a letter
To say a litho's comin' home to me.

(Dear Old Gaffer.)
Our Old Gaffer, look and see
(Oh, yeah.)
If there's a package in the box for me.
(Please, Please, Mister Gaffer.)
Why's it takin' such a long time
(Oh, yeah.)
For me to hear from that Fan Club of mine?

So many days the Post passed us by.
See the tears standin' in our eyes?
Justin stopped to make us feel better,
'Though we're still waiting for that welcome letter.

(Dear Old Gaffer.)
Our Old Gaffer, look and see
(Oh, yeah.)
If there's a package in the box for me.
(Please, Please, Mister Gaffer.)
Why's it takin' such a long time?

(Why don't you check it and see one more time for me? You gotta --)
Wait a minute,
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute,
Wait a minute.
(Dear Old Gaffer.)
Our Old Gaffer, look and see.

(Decipher, deliver the letter, the sooner the better.)
...Mister Gaffer...

Making his way to Mordor that day
took all that Frodo's got.
Taking a break from all the ring's worries
would help, but he cannot.
You can bet he'd like to get away. . .
Yes, Frodo wants to go
to Grey Havens for release from pain.
But poor Sam will be sad he came.
Frodo needs to be where he can see
a break from all the strain;
He wants to go to Grey Havens for release from his pain.
He wants to go where the Elves all know
the world was saved by his strain.
He wants to go to Grey Havens for release from his pain.

Huh... Ya! Hahaha!

You will run inside
To hear the world has changed, alright.
Han mathon ne nen.
Han mathon ne chae, alright.
All of your time spent in flashes of light.

All you people can't you see, can't you see
One Ring is affecting your reality.
When the lights go down
ME comes to light
And that makes you cormar for life.

Looking at the screen
Can't hold your tears at bay, c'mon.
Wishin' Gandalf could really be okay, c'mon.
‘Cause all of your time spent keeps them alive.

All you people can't you see, can't you see
One Ring is affecting your reality.
When the lights go down
ME comes to light
And that makes you cormar for life.

Cormar for life...

(Softly) Yeah... Hahaha... that's right

All of your time spent keeps them alive... Yeah!

All you people can't you see, can't you see
One Ring is affecting your reality.
When the lights go down
ME comes to light
And that makes you cormar for life.

Yeah, Nazgul got you down?
Yeah, Arwen makes it right
Yeah, that's what makes you cormar for life.

All you people can't you see, can't you see
One Ring is affecting your reality.
When the lights go down
ME comes to light
And that makes you cormar,
That makes you cormar,
That make you cormar for life.

Continue dancing in step. Softly singing cormar for life...

top

(softly) As long as you smurf me...

Although Middle Earth has always been a friend of mine,
I cannot stop watching them prance.
Gandalf says I'm crazy and that I am blind
Risking a palantir glance.
And how they got in here is still a mystery,
Guess One Eye is still in my head.
Don't care what was written down inside his story
As long as they're here with me.

I don't like Uruk-hai, crows that fly,
Orc red eye, as long as you smurf me.
Uruk-hai, crows that fly,
Don't like orc red eye,
As long as you smurf me.

Every little thing that they have said and done
Feels like it's deep within me.
Doesn't really matter that it's me they shun
As long as it's blue I see.

I don't like Uruk-hai, crows that fly,
Orc red eye, as long as you smurf me.
Uruk-hai, crows that fly,
Don't like orc red eye,
As long as you smurf me.

Yah-ah-ah

(softly) As long as you smurf me...

I've tried to hide it so that no one knows,
But I guess it shows
When you see tiny blue guys.
What they did and where they're coming from,
I don't care, as long as you smurf me, baby.

I don't like Uruk-hai, crows that fly,
Orc red eye, as long as you smurf me.
Uruk-hai, crows that fly,
Don't like orc red eye,
As long as you smurf me.

The group keeps dancing in step as we softly sing:
Uruk-hai, crows that fly, Orc red eye, as long as you smurf me...

Four little lads from the Shire are we,
Brave as a hobbit well can be,
Off to the Pony Inn at Bree,
Four little lads from the Shire!

Every bath is a source of fun! (he he he he he he)
No mushroom's safe, we could eat a ton! (he he he he he he)
Life is a joke that has just begun! (he he he he he he)
Four little lads from the Shire!

Four little lads who, all unwary,
Hop off the Buckleberry Ferry,
Into a fate that is quite scary,
Four little lads from the Shire!

One little lad has a Ring, Yum Yum!
Three little lads in attendance come,
Four little lads is the total sum,
Four little lads from the Shire!

From four little lads take two away,
Two little lads remain, and they,
Will both become very brave knights, they say,
Four little lads from the Shire!

Four little lads who, all unwary,
Hop off the Buckleberry Ferry,
Into a fate that is quite scary,
Four little lads from the Shire!

---

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