Sung to the Tune of....2

Contents of this page:
A little Coolio for the critics - Arabee
Ents Marching - Stef Brandybuck
Fighting in the Street - Marion
Frodo Merry Gimli Gandalf Aragorn Sam Pip-pin - Cadsuane
I Could have Fought All Night - onone
I Will Survive - Pippin's Version - Gimli's Goat
Lord of the SpongeBob SquarePants - Lightpoet
May I have you attention please? - Gil-Galad Elven King
Nanny Saruman - Doctor Gamgee
The Ring went down to Mordor - Stef Brandybuck
The road goes ever on and on - Desert Elf
Rohan! - Narya
Samwise Gamgee was a gardener... - Lithilien Quicksilver
Sauron the Big Bad Warlord - Desert Elf
Sponge baths and pirates and muumuus on Ghostwood - Lightpoet

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Sung to the tune of...well, just guess!

Frodo Merry Gimli Gandalf Aragorn Sam Pip-pin
If you sing it loud enough the orcs'll come a'runnin'.
Legolas and Boromir are worried 'cause they're miss-ing!
Frodo Merry Gimli Gandalf Aragorn Sam Pip-pin.

rumtiddliddliddle rumtiddle-eye
rumtiddliddliddle lidless-eye

When Frodo was a hobbit-lad, he'd listen to old Bilbo
Telling of the dwarves and dragon, how to be a hero.
Longing for adventures then, and even some exploring.
But now he wants to go back home and stay there and be boring!

rumtiddliddliddle rumtiddle-eye
rumtiddliddliddle lidless-eye

Pippin likes his apples and dear Merry his tomatoes,
They eat things like this daily while avoiding all potatoes.
Sausages and mushrooms, bacon, carrots and some cheeses,
Lembas cakes and good rich ale to keep them on their toesies.

rumtiddliddliddle rumtiddle-eye
rumtiddliddliddle lidless-eye

When fire and shadow do appear in Khazad-Dum's high hallway
Legolas goes white with fear, and chooses he will not stay.
Gimli wonders what it is, and thinks that he is braver,
But Balrogs like to eat dwarves best, and so he'd best not waver.

rumtiddliddliddle rumtiddle-eye
rumtiddliddliddle lidless-eye

Boromir was Gondor brave, and thought that he'd be victor,
But Lurtz took a dislike to him and used him as a quiver.
Strider came to save the day and sliced his head from shoulder,
But Boromir was full of holes, and didn't get much older.

(Because he was dead see!)

rumtiddliddliddle rumtiddle-eye
rumtiddliddliddle lidless-eye

Frodo Merry Gimli Gandalf Aragorn Sam Pip-pin
If you sing it loud enough the orcs'll come a'runnin'.
Legolas and Boromir are worried 'cause they're miss-ing!
Frodo Merry Gimli Gandalf Aragorn Sam Pip-pin.

- Cadsuane
top

Lord of the SpongeBob SquarePants
sung to SpongeBob SquarePants Theme

Are you, ready, kids?
-Aye, aye, captain!-
I can't hear you!
-AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!!!-

OHHHHHHH.....

Who lives in a Dark Tower under the sea?
-SpongeBob SauronPants!-
Sadistic and evil and monstrous is he!
-SpongeBob SauronPants!-
If Middle-Earth nonsense be somethin' you wish...
-SpongeBob SauronPants!-
Then get down to Ithilien and give Gollum a fish!
-SpongeBob SauronPants!-

SpongeBob SauronPants! SpongeBob SauronPants! SpongeBob SauronPants!
SPONGEBOB SAURONPANTS!!!!!!!
- Lightpoet
top

(TO THE TUNE OF "The Devil Went Down To Georgia")

The Ring went down to Mordor, it was looking for a crack to fill...

...He said my name's Frodo, and it might be a sin,
but I'll take that ring to be destroyed, 'cause the darkness never wins!...

Frodo, tighten up your chain and ride that river hard,
Sauron's out to get you and he's trying to deal the cards.
If you win you'll get rid of that shinny ring of gold,
but if you lose, then Sauron gets your soul..."
- StefBaggins
top

Sauron the Big Bad Warlord

Sung to the tune of "Puff the Magic Dragon".

Sauron the big bad warlord
lived by Mount Doom.
And frolicked in the loathsome pits
spreading ash and gloom.

Little hobbit Frodo
hated ugly things.
So in the firey chasm
he pitched ol'Sauron's ring.

Elves they live forever
and hobbits who bore rings,
Can find their immortality
across the sundering seas.

Oh,Sauron was the Dark King
who's fortress is a tomb.
'Cause with the death of his ring
Old Sauron met his doom.
- DesertElf
top

Wearing her loosest traveling mummu DesertElf sings to the tune of.. The Road Goes Ever On and On

The road goes ever on and on,
and I must leave now, I must move on.
It's Tucson where I'm headed next,
all my things packed in a chest.

I'll be driving for a week,
so I'm afraid that we won't speak.
But I will think of you, my friends,
and I'll come back soon as I can.

A lonely road's in front of me,
but I will stop in Tennessee.
Arabee and Sarilou,
are meeting me for the show at two.

I've packed my car, I've got some cash.
I"m gonna miss the friday bash.
So, now I write this song for you,
I love you all and toodle-oo.

- DesertElf
top

(To the tune of "My Favorite Things", from "The Sound of Music")

Sponge baths and pirates and muumuus on Ghostwood
Drooling and pictures of hobbits that look good
Is Elrond a drag queen? Do Balrogs have wings?
These are a few of my favorite things!

The boss barks...when the boss roars...
When I'm feeling saaaaad!
I simply remember my favorite boards
And then I don't feeeeel....
Sooooo baaaaaad!!
- Lightpoet
top

A little Coolio for the critics Arabee walks up to the mike wearing jeans, a "Frodo Lives" baseball cap, her bookmark ring on her left hand, and a white shirt with "NERD PRIDE" written in black letters. "To the tune of 'Gangsta's Paradise' for all my homeys at the Pony"

As I read through the shadowy review that you said
I get a glimpse of your mind and realize there's nothing left.
'Cause you've been playing the game for so long, that
you can't even tell when a film is strong.
But now you've really crossed a group that didn't deserve it --
makin' fun 'cause we're fans, you know that's offensive.
You better pay more attention
to what your missin'
instead of taking your cheap shots just 'cause you think we're listenin'.
I really hate to fuss, but I gotta though.
As you sneer I see the truth you don't want to show.
I'm the kinda movie fan you should wanna be like --
in my seat with delight,
'cause I can tell it was done right.

I'll keep spending all my time
living in a ringer's paradise.
I'll keep spending all my time
living in a ringer's paradise.

Looking at the situation the movie's facin'
I can't stand your hateful talk, I was raised on these books.
So I've gotta be down with the ring thing --
too much time in Hollywood, you've forgot your dreams.
I'm an educated nerd with ME on my mind,
got my ticket in my hand and a gleam in my eye.
I'm in love with hobbits, elves, and rangers.
So us ringers are loyal, why does that rouse your anger?
The Oscars ain't nothin' but a heartbeat away.
I want Pete to win them all, what can I say?
I've seen it seven times and I plan to go even more
so what you're tryin' to prove, I don't know.

Tell me why are you so blind to see
that the film was made for fans like me?

The film is making money, money in a shower,
at least 300 million, even at 3 hours.
All bad critics are talkin', you just aren't grasping what you're seeing --
you proclaim it's too long,
you fuss that there's no ending.
You say you can't feel the human-ness in this fantasy?
If you can't understand it, how can you reach me?
I guess you can't, I guess you won't,
I guess you're clueless, that why I guess you need to read the books, fool.

I'll keep spending all my time
living in a ringer's paradise.
I'll keep spending all my time
living in a ringer's paradise.

- Arabee
top

Set to Eminem's "The Real Slim Shady"

May I have you attention please?
May I have you attention please?
Will the real Mr. Baggins please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Mr. Baggins please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here.

Y'all act like ya never seen a short person before
Jaws all on the floor like Gil-Galad and Elendil just burst through the door
And started whooping Sauron's butt worse than before
When they were on Mt Doom throwing each other 'round the room
It's the Return of the...
"Ah wait, no wait, you're kidding
He didn't just post the spoiler I think he did, did he?"
And moderator Took said
Wait a second! Let's keep on these post on topic!
(Ha-ha!)
Even women dig on Tolkien yeah
Ringa ringa ringa Mr. Baggins, Orcs are sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his you-know-what
Putting it on his finger like he's you-know-who, and all the girls say "But he's so cute though"
Ya, maybe all us fans gots a couple a screws up in ours heads loose
But it's no worse then what goes on in any Star Wars fans bedroom!
Sometimes I just want to post on the board and let loose, I can't
But it's cool for the Horn of Gondor to sound like a goose.
And the posters' all post HONK, the posters' all post HONK
It's driving me crazy enough to hit with a frying pan BONK!
But we all the message this tale has for all our inner-kids
And what the difference 'tween the good and the evil is
And of course we gonna know what Saruman is
By the time we reach the second chapter,
After all they got spoilers, don't they?
After all, we all ain't nothing but hobbits,
Well, some of ya'll are Oliphants
Who come in posting in their orcish prose
But if we've all seen Elves fight and wizards fly
And there's no reason why a hobbit and another hobbit can't get along, that's why
We can all loudly proclaim our love without feeling shy.
So all you elves go and grab yours bow, sing the chorus and it goes

I'm Mr. Baggins, yes I'm the real Baggins
All you other Mr. Baggins are just imitating
So won't the real Mr. Baggins please stand up?
Frodo lives, so please stand up!

Cuz I'm Mr. Baggins, Yes I'm the real Baggins
All you other Mr. Baggins are just imitating
So won't the real Mr. Baggins please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up!

Star Wars didn't need to win any awards
But we do! And I'll tell you what,
We will too!
But in the end do you think we give a heck about the Oscar?
Most of the critics like it but the fans just love it!
"But Mr. Baggins, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
Why? After all I deserve to be here.
And even though I'm sitting between A Beautiful Mind,
Moulan Rouge and others of it's kind,
But I'd rather be with the Force and the Godfather
To show these other films they might as well not bother.
And plus Gandalf's gonna win best fight scene on MTV
And all the little hobbits will be there going "tee-hee-hee".
And when The Two Towers comes out
We'll be able to sit back and just go "see?"
But I'm sick of all the negative and just plain rude groups,
All they do is annoy me so I'll ignore them and watch the wonder that is the movie,
And there's a million of us just like me,
Who swear like me, that this is one of the best we'll ever see
Who all dress like me, kinda walk, talk and act like me,
'Cause we're all Lord of the Rings fans, yep that's me.

I'm Mr. Baggins, yes I'm the real Baggins
All you other Mr. Baggins are just imitating
So won't the real Mr. Baggins please stand up?
Frodo lives, so please stand up!

Cuz I'm Mr. Baggins, Yes I'm the real Baggins
All you other Mr. Baggins are just imitating
So won't the real Mr. Baggins please stand up?
Please stand up, please stand up!

- Gil-Galad, Elven King
top

I Will Survive-Pippin's version
( To the tune of 'I will Survive' by Gloria Gaynor )
 
At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
Thought I’d die without Gandalf standing by my side.
And after spending nights, with uruks, they did pong,
I grew strong, and I learnt how to carry on.

Met the Ents, saw a Moot,
Never dreamt that they would trample Isengard underfoot.
I should have brought some more pipe-weed,
Or at least a noble steed,
If I’d known for one second where this mission, quest,thing would lead!

So here I am! In Morgul Vale!
The darkness is monstrous; the evil air is stale,
Frodo, Sam, Merry, Boromir are gone,
I’m the one who is left to carry on.
But I, will I survive?
Strider leads us out to war now, but will I stay alive?
I’ve got my life to give, I really want to live
I’ll survive, will I survive!

It took all my strength to get this far,
Trying with all my might to find a decent bar.
I spent so many nights feeling sorry for myself
Saw the red eye, but now I hold my head up high!

Now see me, somebody new,
Not that silly little hobbit without a clue.
Nazgul come swooping down, we must fight to be free,
But I think always of Merry and my friend Fangorn, the tree!

And here I am! In Morgul Vale!
The darkness is monstrous; the evil air is stale,
Frodo, Merry, Sam, Boromir are gone,
And I’m the one who’s left to carry on
But I, will I survive?
Strider leads us out to fight, but will I stay alive?
I’ve got my life to give; I really want to live,
Will we survive, will I survive??

- Gimli’s Goat
top


Ents Marching
(adapted from "Ants Marching" by Dave Matthews Band )

He wakes up in the morning
Moves about on his feet and he's rolling
Never changes a thing
The week ends the week begins
Pip thinks, we look at each other
Wondering what the other is thinking
But never say a thing
These twigs between us seem thicker

Goes to meet with his Ent friends
He leads them well their concerns
He relates them
And remembers the Ent-wives
Fair and tall, they all long to see them

Take this Entwash
Sip it, relax here until a quieter time
Ents move, Orcs up and die

Striding through this forest
All these Ents move to attack Isengard
Ents in every direction
Hang on Pippin
Hang on for your dear life

And all the mighty Ents are marching
Oak and ash, their branches waving
They all march there the same
They all march to the same end

Hobbits tempting the thoughts of a
Wizard waging war against men
Ents crash into his borders
There's a dead orc, dead orc, stomp, stomp
Break the dam, water the land again,
crash, crash, crash, crash

Take this Entwash
Sip it, relax here until a quieter time
Ents move, Orcs up and die.

- StefBrandybuck
top


Rohan!
(to the tune of Rawhide)

Rohan. Rohan. Rohan.
Ride the horsey, Rohan.
Go to Helm's Deep, Rohan. And hide!
Gather up!
Clear out!
Move'em fast!
Hurry quick!
Get inside!
Kill those nasty orcs hides!
dum dum dum da-dum dum...
ROHAN!
- Narya
top


Samwise Gamgee was a gardener...
(to the tune of Jerimiah was a Bullfrog)

Samwise Gamgee was a gardener...
Was a good friend of mine.
Faramir asked "What is he, your bodyguard?"
And Sam said, "No, I grow PO-TA-TOE vines!"
And he always grew some mighty fine vines!

Singin' joy to the Shire!
Lift your voices higher!
Joy to Old Winyard and that Old Toby!
Joy to you and me!

- Lithilien Quicksilver
top


Fighting in the Street

to the tune of Dancing in the street

Calling out to Middle-Earth
ARe you ready for a brand new beef?
Saurons here and the time is right
For fighting in the street

Fighting in Rohan (in the streets)
Down in Mirkwood (in the streets)
In Buckleberry! (in the streets)

All we need are weapons
sleek,sleek weapons
there'll be weapons everywhere

There'll be swinging and swaying
and Uruk' slayin'

We're fighting in the street

OOOHHHHHHHHH.........
It doesn't matter what you wear
Just as long as you are there
So come on
Every man, grab an elf
Everywhere around middle-earth theres fighting
We're fighting in the streets
This is an invitation across the nations
A chance to meet your king
They'll be slashin' and swingin'
And hobbit savin'
We're fighting in the streets

Rivendell (in the streets)
Down to Lorien Woods (in the streets)

We're fighting in the streets!
- Marion
top


Gimli at Helms Deep...
I Could have Fought All Night
From My Fair Lady...

I could have fought all night
I could have fought all night
And still have begged for more
I could have drawn my axe
and gave a thousand whacks
like I've never chopped before
I'll never know what made it so exciting...
Why all at once I had to fight
I only know when he
was competing with me,
I could have fought fought fought all night.

*groan*
- onone


Nanny Saruman
(tune of theme from The Nanny)

(Everybody Sing!)
"He was working on the Uruk-Hai in Isengard,
when the Ents came by and Treebeard became his Prison Guard.
What was he to do, where was he to go?
The Trees kicked his Can-ee!

Til over the Gap of Rohan, to the New King's door,
He was there to sell trinkets, but then Arwen saw more.
He had Style, a big laugh, a strong staff,
the Wizard became their "Nanny!

Who would have guessed that a Wizard so Wild,
Would be in charge of Aragorn's Elf/Man child?

Aragorn, he wanted to throttle,
(Arwen feared not!)
Yet his magic soon warmed the bottle
(he wiped up snot)

He was no longer 'White' so he became the Wizard Wearing Tan
a 'Mr. French wanna-be'
Nanny Saruman!"
- Doctor Gamgee
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