Sung to the Tune of....12

Contents of this page:

LotR Musical: Synchronized- Arien
LotR meets Whistle Down the Wind - goldenberry
Prima Hobbit - Maura Labingi
Belle Eowyn - Daughter of Kings
Eowyn's Blues - Ringwraith-Wife
Old Man Willow - Doctor Gamgee
Get Me to the Moot on Time - Ringwraith-Wife
Smeagol vs. Gollum - Fëawen
The Beginning - Fëawen
Faramir's Dream -
Strider -
Smokin' in Young Pip's Room - Frodosmiss
My Gondor Tis of Thee - Harthad
Hello Gaffer - Danilynne

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LOTR Musical: Synchronized

(set to Canned Heat by Jamiroquai)
(one of Orli's fave bands I've heard)

Imagine the characters in the mines of moria singing... what acoustics.
Sorry that the hobbits dont have parts but they are backup singers.=D

Enter Balrog chasing The Fellowship across the bridge in Moria.

BALROG: You know this Balrog is for real

GANDALF: I put my faith in the Wizard's council
They were our best chance to save the world
I always worry ‘bout the future
So I threw myself into the pit, pit, pit, pit

I have no reason to be carefree
No, No, No
On our trip to the dark side of middle earth
So when I heard that Balrog coming
I had to choose to stand my ground, ground, ground, ground

Nothin' left for me to do
Out of these grey robes
I'm going to transform
The Balrog's on my heals tonight baby
Who hooo hooo hoo

ARAGORN: I feel the thunder see the lightening
I know this quest is heaven sent
So I will need some help to find out the way
‘Cause on my decision, rests our fate

Yeah, yeah

It's just an instant gut reaction
That I got
I know I've never ever felt like this before
I don't know what to do
Because this is all new

GANDALF: Stuck between fire and the abyss
I, Mithrandir will make it through

Nothin' left for me to do
Out of this grey beard
I'm going to transform
You fools you have to get away, ay, ay

You know, know, know I'm gonna transform
All the nasty things that Sauron does
But I'm gonna make it anyway
With the Balrog on my heals tonight baby

BALROG: You know I've got evil on my side
You know this Balrog is for real

LEGOLAS: Only the wind can know the answer
To our leaders fate, that much is clear
It is said; Even the wisest cannot tell
But for me the grief is still too near

GANDALF: I've got this ring bearer counting on me
I'm gonna use my power to ascend

You know we've got so very much to loose
Frodo only you can choose
But you were born to fight, born to last
Now move you fools, oh so fast

Nothin' left for me to do
Out of these bad times we're goin' through
Got a Balrog on my heals tonight baby

Hey, I've got to transform
All the nasty things Saruman says
But I'm gonna make it anyway
Into someone that no one knows, oh, ohs

ARAGORN: I know that I'm the king for real
Got the sword of Elendil reforged, now

Gonna lead
Gonna lead my friends safely away
I know that I can lead the way

BOROMIR: I know I've found the king for real
Got the Horn of Gondor, Feel no fear, now

My Lord
Gonna Follow my Lord away tonight

ALL: Transform, C'mon
Got a Balrog on our heals tonight, Oh ho ho
Got a Balrog on our heals tonight, Oh ho ho
Got a Balrog on our heals tonight baby

OHHHHHH OHHHHHHH OHHHHHH and Bongo/Horn of Gondor solo

GANDALF: Hey, Samwise! Don't let him get away
You gotta stay so he's alright

Each character ad lib on lyrics until fade out

- Arien

LOTR meets Whistle Down the Wind
(to the tune of No Matter What)

Setting : Lothlorien
Scene : The giving of the gifts

(Character names in ALL CAPS denotes that the line is sung;
Character Name in Title Case denotes a spoken line only)

ELF 1: I got a plastic flower, so it won't ever die

Aragorn: Cool Athelas

ELF 2: I've got my grandma's hankie, if you ever need to cry

Pippin: A bit late now, we needed one at the Bridge of Khazad Dum!

Boromir: Keep it, I've a feeling you'll need it yet.

ELF 3: I got a pretty bracelet

Frodo: Hey, that matches my ring!

GALADRIEL: I got a mirror too

GALADRIEL & THE ELVES: I'm never gonna need ‘em.
I'll give them all to you

Fellowship: Wow, thanks!

GALADRIEL & THE ELVES: We'll give you all we've got to give.
We guess that's our good deed

SAM: (to Frodo): I just want to stay beside you.
You're the only love I need

Frodo: Oh Sam

ELF 4 (to Legolas): I got a great big seashell
You put it to your ear
Then you can hear de ocean
It's like you're really dere

Legolas: It's like it's calling me

GALADRIEL: I got a glass of fireflies
They make amazing light

ELF 5 (to Boromir): I got a four leaf clover
I'll bring it here tonight

Boromir: But we're leaving after Gollum sings his line!

ARAGORN (to Frodo): And I will keep you safe and strong
And follow where you lead

GOLLUM (to the Ring): I'll never leave your side now
We're the only love you need.

THE FELLOWSHIP (setting out from Lothlorien): No matter what they tell us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
What we believe is true

FRODO: I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not
I know this love's forever
I know no matter what

FELLOWSHIP: I can't deny what I believe
I can't be what I'm not
I know this love's forever
That's all that matters now
No matter what

URUK-HAI: No matter what the outrage
No matter what the crime
No matter where he's running
He's running out of time

ELVES (simultaneously with orcs): This was a safe haven
Now it's gone
Danger's on it's way
Evil can spread out like a storm
And darken all the day

ORCS: No matter where he's hiding
No matter how he's hurt
He's better dead than captured
He's just a speck of dirt

URUK HAI: No matter what they're scheming
No matter what they've got
We'll tear them limb from limb
That's all that matters
No matter what

FELLOWSHIP: If only tears were laughter
If only night was day
If only prayers were answered
Then we would hear Gandalf say
No matter what they tell us
No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us
What we believe is true

FRODO: I can't deny what I believe I can't be what I'm not
I know this love's forever
That's all that matters now
No matter what

URUK HAI: You gotta wrestle with the Dark Lord
Wrestle with the Dark Lord in a heartbeat

MERRY & PIPPIN (to Boromir): Midnight is clear
Our saviour is here
He's gonna guard each Took and Merry

FELLOWSHIP: The Ringwraiths are gone
The young are the strong
The night the Fellowship rule the world
When the Fellowship rules the world
When Fellowship rules the world
When the Fellowship rules the world
When Fellowship rules the world

RINGWRAITHS (simultaneously with theFellowship's last line): You gotta wrestle with the Dark Lord!!!

adapted from 'No Matter What' from the musical 'Whistle Down the Wind' music by Andrew Lloyd Webber, lyrics by Jim Steinman!

If you're not sure of the music and you have Real Audio you can view some of the show here:
- goldenberry


"To Ian Holm: Prima Hobbit!"
(sung to "Prima Donna" from "The Phantom of the Opera" musical, the film version.)

Bilbo Baggins, best Hobbit in the Shire,

Your devotees are on their knees to implore you!

Can you bow out when they're shouting your name?

Think of how they all adore you!

Bilbo Baggins, enchant us once again!

Think of your muse... And of the queues round the theatre!
Can you deny us the triumph in store?

Play Bilbo Baggins once more!

Bilbo Baggins, your tale shall live again!

Don't be a schlub, think of your public who need you!

Think of their cry of undying support!

Follow where the film-makers lead you!

Bilbo Baggins, your tale shall never die!

You'll live again, and to unending ovation!

Think how you'll shine in that final encore!
Play Bilbo Baggins once more!

(Who'd believe a pair of
studios not caring
if the fans got mad?
Their feud *did* make us sad!

Then New Line so clever
said they'd never ever
work again with PJ!
Zantz stepped in, and "touche!"

All this silly fighting
when they should be writing
Two new films we're told:
SO worth their weight in gold!

It's just the sort of story
Tolkien fans deplore,
in fact, a real soap-opera!)

Bilbo Baggins, the world is at your feet!

Your fans await, and how they hate to be cheated!

Light up the screen with that age-old rapport!

Play Bilbo Baggins (inhale) ...o-n-c-e... m-o-r-e !


Gandalf the Grey pointed out that this musical number can be found at "YouTube" in several versions! I was working with the DVD, and its there too. Just type in "Prima Donna and it should turn up!
- Maura Labingi


Belle Eowyn

The mice in the Costume Dept. had finally finished Eowyn’s latest costume, a white gauzy piece intended to portray her vulnerability (not that she had any). She held up her arms as the sparrows flew up and dropped the dress over her head. Her mind was not on the new costume, however, but on the Elf prince that had graced her dreams. Legolas of Mirkwood. Legolas. The name meant Greenleaf in the Elven tongue, but when she tested it on her own tongue … Leg-olas… she drew out the Leg-gy part, because he certainly was.

When the Makeup mice were done with her, she wandered out to the rampart and stood there as she often did in the mornings. Her gaze went first to the far horizon (the sunrise was spectacular), then fell on the bustling streets below. It was inevitable that she should burst into song:

It's a quiet village
Every day
Like the one before
Full of quiet people
I’ve got to say
I’m bored!

There goes the baker with his tray, like always -
The same old bread and rolls to sell,
Every morning just the same
Since the morning that we came
To live with Theoden in Meduseld.

The townsfolk, hearing their king’s niece at full volume, broke in with a verse of their own (because that’s what townsfolk do when a princess sings):

Look there she is; that girl is strange, no question -
Dazed and distracted, it’s a sin!
Never part of any crowd
'Cause her head's up on some cloud
No denying she's an odd one, Eowyn.

Now it’s well known that she’s a shieldmaiden;
She’d rather wield sword than spoon.
Her late mother would be riled
‘Cause she’ll go completely wild
If Theoden doesn’t rein her in quite soon.

Eowyn didn’t even hear them, being too wrapped up in her own thoughts, and continued her lament:

Oh, to ride out leading my own eored!
Oh, to be a Prince’s wife!
I want glory and acclaim;
Playing nursemaid is too tame.
I must escape from this domestic life.

I want adventure in the great wide somewhere;
I want it more than I can tell!
And for once it would be grand
To have my Uncle understand
I want so much more than he’s got planned.
- Daughter of Kings


Eowyn's Blues
(to the tune of St. James Infirmary Blues)

* Aragorn: "It is but a shadow and a thought that you love. I can not give you what you seek" *

My man says that it's a shadow
It's a shadow I love so
He can't give me what I seek, no, oh no, oh no, oh no.

He is leaving on the morrow
Oh-h whither will he go?
He will leave me with but sorrow, oh woe, oh woe, oh woe.

He must go, I know, I'll miss him
Never got what I desired
But his time has come, insists he, now to kingdom he's aspired.

Yes, well now, you've heard my story
Other love, one day I'll find
Though my ranger's gone, with glory, he will never leave my mind.
- Ringwraith-Wife

Old Man Willow
(to the tune of Old Man River)

Ol' Man Willow,
that Ol' Man Willow,
He's up to somethin'
but don't say nothin'
He just keeps scheemin'
Beside the Stream, he belongs.

He's feared by Maggot,
And Farmer Cotton,
And them that cross him,
Are soon forgotten,
He just keeps scheemin'
Beside the Stream, he belongs.

You and me, we long for Shade
Nappin' by his trunk we think we'll have it made.
Twist that bough, go crick-crack!
If you're caught inside him,
you ain't comin' ba-------ck!

Tom gets weary, and sick of finding,
A way to rescue, them from tree's binding,
But Ol' Man Willow,
He just keeps scheeming, along!
- Doctor Gamgee



"Going to Theme day in the morning
Spruced up, my needles looking prime
Twigs, come and kiss me
Somebody, please mist me
But get me to the moot on time

My leaves are falling? Sweep up the floor
If someones whittling!!! Root them out the door!

(cause... I'm...)
Going to Theme day in the morning
Ding dong, the "Ringers" 'gonna rhyme
Kick up a leaf bed
And watch while they turn red
But get me to Theme day
Get me to Theme day
For Ent's sake
Get me to the moot on time.
- Ringwraith-Wife

Smeagol  vs. Gollum
(Melody: Fish got to swim... From Showboat)

We are so sneaky, we are so sly
We have to love One Ring till we die
Can't help, loving our precious One

It can't be evil, or made by the foe
They tell us stories, but we'll always know
Can't help, loving our precious One

When Baggins in the middle
Tricked us with his riddle
Our precious One was gone, but not for long
We'll travel on

Master is friendly, Master is kind
Struggles to Mordor, with a quest on his mind
Can't help, hating The precious One

Hobbits are tricksters, hobbits are grim
They will deceive us and take us to Him
Can't help, loving our precious One

Leave now don't delay
We don't want you to stay
We can survive just swell without your dwell
You will be quelled

Where did he go? Were we that strong
We asked him to leave, and now he is gone.
Gone, gone. Sméagol is finally free.
- Fëawen


The Beginning

(Melody: Phantom of the Opera... from the musical with the same name)

The world's about to change, I know the cost
Evil is on a search for what was lost

These stories must be told
And they begin
With Sauron and the forging of The One, the Master Ring

Three thousand years ago a war was fought
A heard of men and elves, for what was sought

With only one request
They all fought brave
To keep the lands in Middle-earth in peace, their lives they gave

When Sauron killed the King, his son felt lost
He took his father's sword and gave his most

Isildur cut the Ring
From Sauron's hand
He thought it could be useful in his wish, to free his land

But hearts of men are weak, the Ring is not
It makes you urge for more, then what you've got

It takes control of you
To do His will
The Ring betrayed Isildur to his death, it ends with kill

The truth became a myth, a big mistake
The Eye It bides Its time, It is awake

I feel it in the earth, nothing but pain
If Sauron and his forces should regain, Isildur's Bane

- Fëawen

Faramir's Dream
(Melody: Past the point of no return... Phantom of the Opera)

Brother what is ailing you?
Don't try to fool me
What problems do you try to keep so deep
I know that look upon your face; you know there isn't no disgrace in having dreams or even visions

Tell me what was this about
I want to help you
You know I care for you so please don't doubt
Your secret would be safe with me, if you would only let me see
What has been shown to you these evenings

Seek the sword that once was whole
But now it's broken
There're secrets and in Rivendell they dwell
The Doom is much to near at hand, we have to try to save our land
Isildur's Bane is now awaking

Father must be told of this
He will see reason
Even though this fight will not be his
Our hope lies in a Halfling's hands.
- Fëawen

(Melody: Anatevka... Fiddler on the Roof)

He isn't very clean. He could be rather mean

A friend?

Or foe?

Oh Sam, I know.
Who is this man? I don't know. Just that he's a Ranger.

Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin:
He's a Ranger and a stranger.
That he is but we wish he was slender.
He looks too strong for us to fight

Is he caring? Is he sharing?
Could there be more to see? He seems daring.
If he's our friend we'll be alright.

How can I be strong when my friend's lost and gone?
Why did he not meet us here in Bree?
He promised me.

Gandalf sent me to protect thee
And I will with my skill make you all see
That I am not a foe, for I'm your friend.
- Fëawen

Smokin' in Young Pip's Room
(tune: Smokin' in the Boy's Room)

Sitting in Minas Tirith
Thinking it's a drag
Listening to Denethor rap
Just ain't my bag
Mordor's cloud looms
You know that's my cue
I'm gonna meet the boys
On floor number two!

Smokin' in young Pip's room
Smokin' in young Pip's room
Now, Sauron, don't you bring me that nasty Orc mead
Coz everybody knows there ain't nothing like the hobbit pipeweed.
- Frodosmiss

(to the tune of My Country 'Tis of Thee/ God Save the King)

My Gondor tis' of thee
Sweet land of liberty
of thee I sing.

Land of the Steward's pride,
Land where Denethor got fried (sing this part really fast)
From every Mordor side
Of thee I sing.
- Harthad

(To the tune of Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah)

Hello Gaffer
It's your Sam-kins
I have gone with
Frodo Baggins
We're with Pippin
And with Merry
The Black Riders chased us to the Buckland Ferry

We went hiding
At Crickhollow
Didn't think that
They would follow
Those black horses
Hate the water
But they crossed the Bridge so we ran from the slaughter

In the Forest
Old Man Willow
Made us sleepy
Where's my pillow?
And the trees there
Tried to kill us
Bombadil-O came along and had to free us

We met his wife
She's a beauty
Even though he's
Kind of fruity
Always rhyming
Always prancing
But with Goldberry he wants to be romancing.

In the night
We had to face a scary wight
Had to replace my underwear
I thought that we were dead
Into the darkness we all sped
Then we heard
A crazy voice that was absurd
But we rejoiced when in came Tom
To make the shadows flee
He killed the dread banshee

From the barrow
We went running
Ancient daggers
We were clutching
Monsters want us
To be Hob-Chow
I am thinking that I'm ready to come home now

Wait a minute
There's the Pony
I smell bacon
I smell coney
I hear singing
Oh that's better
Dearest Gaffer, kindly disregard this letter


Barli warned us
'Bout the Ranger
He said Strider
Was a danger
Not to trust him
We learned better
Gandalf told us all about him in a letter

We set out to
Cross the Marshes
Why don't hobbits
Wear galoshes?
Lots of insects
Were a-biting
All-in-all we found the swamp quite uninviting

On a hill
Called Weathertop we laid quite still
But like a fool I lit a fire
And so the Riders came
They drew their swords to kill and maim
Strider fought
Them off but Frodo's shoulder caught
A tiny bit of Morgul-knife
He wasn't very well
We made for Rivendell

Past the Last Bridge
Are the Trollshaws
Tales of monsters
Caused us to pause
Through the forest
Riders chased us
Glorfindel came just in time and he is no wuss

There's the valley
Well I'll be darned
Made it to the
House of Elrond
I thought we were
Done with our chore
Silly Frodo wants to take the Ring to Mordor!

- Danilynne

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