---

Dogwood, Elm, Sequoia and Pine
Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme (Scarborough Fair)

Are you going to Elvenhome fair?
Dogwood, Elm, Sequoia and Pine
Remember me to one who dwells there
Ever he is a true friend of mine

Bring to me mithril shirt
Eagle, Wren, Sparrow and Lark
Of silver and pearl, a fine Dwarven work
That once my friend wore into the dark

Bring me a blade of good Elven steel
Apple, Plum, Tomato and Pear
By its magic glow is evil revealed
Would that to showed that my friend was near

Set on my head the Star of the West
Cabbage, Beet, Potato, Parsnip
On this day I shall look my best
For I go now to take the Last Ship

My head is grey, my children have grown
Blizzard, Wind, Sunlight and Rain
No sweeter bliss is there to be known
But to come to see my true friend again

---

I Can See Clearly Now
(to the tune of the same name by Johnny Nash)

I can see clearly now, the Ring is gone
There are no more obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun shiny day

I think I can make it now, the pain is gone
All of the bad feelings have disappeared
Sam, we have escaped the land of Mordor
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun shiny day

Look all around, there's nothin' but blue skies
Look straight ahead, nothin' but blue skies

I can see clearly now, the Ring is gone
After some time I shall be on my way
Going to the Green Land that lies Beyond
It's gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright)
Sun shiny day

---

The Choices of Master Samwise
tune I Will Survive Lyrics by Gloria Gaynor

First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But I spent so many nights
thinking how Smeagol'd done us wrong
I grew strong
I learned how to carry on
and so you're back
from Cirith Ungol
I just walked in to find you here
looking like you've been thru jungle
I should have choked that little sneak
I should have checked twice for your pulse
If I hadn't left when I did
They would have caught us both!

Go on now go out the trapdoor
take back the Ring now
'cause we're not staying here no more
I thought that I could not live if you were to die
without you, I'd crumble
without you, I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
as long as I know how to hope
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
and I'll survive
I will survive

It took all the strength I had
not to fall apart
kept trying hard to carry
my master, though he's lost all heart
and I spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
Now I hold my head up high
and you see me
somebody new
I'm not that dependant little person
that you thought you knew
and so you felt like keeping IT
after all we have been through...
If Gollum hadn't bit your hand
I might have tried that, too!

---

Grow Grow Grow, (a gardner's life for me)
Yo Ho, Yo Ho (A Pirate's Life For Me)

We tillage, we planter, we water and hoe
Drink up me 'earties yo ho!
We pull weeds and harvest and constantly mow
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho!

Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A Gardner's life for me.

We transplant, we husband, we thin-out and fluff.
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!
No matter how busy we can't do enough.
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!

Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A Gardner's life for me.
Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A Gardner's life for me.

We gather and reap, pollinate and de-bug.
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!
When we finish up here, to the pub for a mug!
Drink up me 'earties, Yo Ho!

Yo Ho, Yo Ho! A Gardner's life for me!

---

Mrs Sackville-Baggins
Mrs Robinson, by Simon & Garfunkel

And here's to you, Mrs. Lobelia
The Shire loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
Lor' bless you please, Mrs. Lobelia
Mandos holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

We'd like to know a little bit about you for our Book
We'd like to help you learn to mend your ways
Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes
Lean on my arm until you can walk again

And here's to you, Mrs. Lobelia
The Shire loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
Lor' bless you please, Mrs. Lobelia
Mandos holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

Hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes
Put it in your pantry with your cupcakes
It's a little secret, just the Sackville-Baggins's affair
Most of all, you've got to hide it from yourself

Coo, coo, ca-choo, Mrs Lobelia
The Shire loves you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
Lor' bless you please, Mrs. Lobelia
Mandos holds a place for those who pray
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

Sitting on a sofa on a Sunday afternoon
Living in Bag End as you deserved
Your son is inviting in
the dregs of Saurman
They will destroy all the land

Where have you gone, Frodo Baggins?
The Shire turns its lonely eyes to you (Woo, woo, woo)
What's that you say, Mrs. Lobelia
Frodo's Fate has led him far away
(Hey, hey, hey...hey, hey, hey)

---

My Master's Back
My Boyfriend's Back

He went away, I had to bear you
You bothered me, every night
And when I wouldn't claim you myself,
You said things that weren't very nice.

My Master's back, and there's gonna be trouble
(Hey la, hey la, my Master's back)
When you see him comin', better cut it out on the double
(Hey la, hey la, my Master's back)
He's been straight in life, while I was untrue
(Hey la, hey la, my Master's back)
So look out now, cause he's comin' after you
(Hey la, hey la, my Master's back)

(Hey, he knows that you've been tryin')
(And he knows that you've been lyin')

I thought he was dead, I saw him fall
(Hey la, hey la, my Master's back)
But it turns out that he wasn't gone at all
(Hey la, hey la, my Master's back)
You're gonna be sorry you were ever wrought
(Hey la, hey la, my Master's back)
Cause he is gonna see that you come to naught
(Hey la, hey la, my Master's back)

(Hey, he knows I wasn't theivin')
(Now, your lies he be disbelievin')

What made you think he'd believe all your lies, wahoo... wahoo...
You're a Gold Ring now but he'll cut you down to size, wahoo... wahoo...
Wait and see!

My Master's back, the Mountain we now dare
(Hey la, hey la, my Master's back)
If I were you I'd start sayin' a prayer
(Hey la, hey la, my Master's back)

Yeah, my Master's back... (etc til fade)

---

Fading Heart
tune: Foolish Games, by Jewel

You took your cloak off, and stood in the hall
You were staring into space
And I watched from the doorway
Always tried to be quiet, looking in on you

You were always the sensitive one with
Blue eyes and careless hair
You were unfashionably sensitive, but too cool to care

You stood in the doorway, with nothing to say
Just fingering the jewel on the chain

Well in case you failed to notice
In case you failed to see
This is my heart bleeding before you
This is me down on my knees

Watching you fade is tearing me apart
Your losing your mind and it is breaking my heart
You’re breaking my heart

You are usually brilliant in the morning
Smoking your pipeweed, and taking notes for your book
Your philosophies on Adventure move me
You dream in Elvish and you speak of your "precious"
As I clumsily stroke your poor hand

(You’d teach us of Brave tales
Heroes that were daring , heroes that were clean
Heroes that knew what an honest death did mean
I hid my soiled hands behind my back
Somewhere along the line
I must’ve lost you after all)

Excuse me, think you’ve mistaken me for somebody else
Somebody more competant, somebody more like yourself

Watching you fade is tearing me apart
Your losing your mind and it is breaking my heart
You’re breaking my heart

You put your cloak on and stood in the rain
You were always staring Westward like that...

---

Sam, the Elf-warrior
tune: Ain't Misbehavin', (Ella Fitzgerald)

No one to talk with
All by myself
No one to walk with
I've been mistaken for an Elf
Ain't misbehavin'
I'm savin' the Ring for you
I know for certain
I will find you
My legs are hurtin'
But it's you I'm thinkin' of
Ain't misbehavin'
I'm savin' the Ring for you

Like Jack Horner
In the corner
Don't go nowhere
What do I care?
I can not do this without you
Believe me

I searched the Tower
Orcs 're all dead
Could use a shower
I'll find you instead
Ain't misbehavin'
Savin' the Ring for you

Like Jack Horner
In the corner
Don't go nowhere
What do I care?
I can not do this without you
Believe me

I've neither ate nor slept
Can't find you, Frodo
I'll sit on this step
And sing my solo
Ain't misbehavin'
Savin' the Ring for you
Ain't misbehavin'
Savin' the Ring for you

---

Memoirs of Samwise
tune: What A Wonderful World, by Louis Armstrong

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

For what you did, the quest you took, the people shout your name
Of all the hobbits in the world, none shall match your fame
I see folk bowing low, saying how do you do
They're really saying "We love you".

I hear babies crying, watch my kids play a game
I will make sure that they all know your name
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

---

  The Ego of Mirkwood
tune: I'm Too Sexy, by Right Said Fred

I'm too sexy for my hair too sexy for my hair
Every strand placed with care
I'm too sexy for silk shirts too sexy for silk shirts
So sexy it hurts
And I'm too sexy for Mirkwood too sexy for Erebor
Eregion and Eriador
And I'm too sexy for your council
Too sexy for your powwow
No way I'm going to kowtow!

I'm an Eldar you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I do my little turn on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for this Dwarf too sexy for this Dwarf
(Even for Brad Dourif)
And I'm too sexy when I walk
Too sexy like a cat what do you think about that?

I'm an Eldar you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for my arrows too sexy for my knives
So sexy I have nine lives!

'Cos I'm an Eldar you know what I mean
And I do my little turn on the catwalk
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah
I shake my little touche on the catwalk

I'm too sexy for this Quest too sexy for this Quest
But I'll go along and do my best
I'm too sexy for second string too sexy for last billing
(With Disney I made a killing)

And I'm too sexy for this epic!

---

The Tower of the Horn
tune: Torn, by Natalie Imbruglia

I thought you had been brought back to life
You were warm, you came around like you were glad to find me
You showed me what it was to cry
Well I couldn't be that one you adored
You don't seem to know, don't seem to care that the Ring is gone
But I don't have it anymore
There's nothing where it used to lie
My heroic quest has run awry
That's whats going on, nothing's fine... I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the defiled sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn

So I guess the nightmares were right
Should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
To crawl beneath my veins and now
I don't care, I have no luck, I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things that I can't touch, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the sunless sky is torn
You're a little late, I'm already torn. Torn.

There's nothing where it used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on, nothings right, I'm torn

I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the starless sky is torn
I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed whipped and broken on the floor
You're a little late, I'm already torn.

---

My Uncle Helped Slay A Dragon, And All He Brought Me Was This Stupid Ring
tune: She Hates Me, by Puddle of Mudd

It was lost for two thousand years
Gollum found it, killed his peer
It took all he ever had
no sign of guilt
no feeling of bad, no

In a trapped trip he can't grip
never thought he'd be the one who'd slip
then he started to realize
he was living one big lie

The Ring is evil
whispers: trust
The Ring is evil
whispers: la la la lies
He tried too hard
and It tore his will out like he had none
and ripped it away

I got the Ring, thought It was grand
fell in love, found out first hand
went well for seventeen years
then it became my greatest fear

in a trapp trip I can't grip
never thought I'd be the one who'd slip
then I started to realize
I’m being hunted by a Big Red Eye!

The Ring is evil
whispers: trust
The Ring is evil
whispers: la la la lies
I tried too hard
and It tore my will out like I had none
and ripped it away

This is my story; it is my chore
To take this stupid Ring to Mordor
Toss it in to the Cracks of Doom
Before the Dark Lord lowers the boom

The Ring is evil
whispers: trust
The Ring is evil
whispers: la la la lies
I tried too hard
and It tore my will out like I had none
and ripped it away

la la la la la la la la la lies
whispers: Trust
la la la la la la la la la lies
whispers: Trust
and It tore my mind out like I had none
The Ring is Evil…

---

The Grey Pilgrim
Traveling Band, by Creedence Clearwater Revival


Giant Golden Eagle coming out of the sky.
Oh! Won't you take me down to Meduseld on a midnight ride?
I wanna move.

CHORUS:
Gotta join a Traveling Quest. Yeah!
Well, I sailed in from the West, try'ing to do what's best,
Gotta join a Traveling Quest.

Came down to Isenguard, WhiteWiz treat me pretty hard
Come on, come on, won't you get me out of here?
I wanna move.

Gotta join a Traveling Quest. Yeah!
Well, I sailed in from the West, try'ing to do what's best,
Gotta join a Traveling Quest.

Listen to the horns blow, Gotta help Frodo.
Fredagar got excited, had to sound the Buckland Horn-call,
Wanna move.

Gotta join a Traveling Quest. Yeah!
Well, I sailed in from the West, try'ing to do what's best,
Gotta join a Traveling Quest.

Oh! WOW!

Here I come a-riding up to Amon Sul
Oh with all the fussing and a-fighting
Got chased by four Nazgul,
I wanna move.

Gotta join a Traveling Quest. Yeah!
Well, I sailed in from the West, try'ing to do what's best,
Gotta join a Traveling Quest.

Oh! WOW!

Oh! Gotta join a Traveling Quest;
Gotta join a Traveling Quest.
Down to Rivendell, take me moot
Well, Gotta join a Traveling Quest,
Well, That hobbit is so cute.
Tryin' to help him lose the loot,
Gotta join a Traveling Quest,

OH! WOW!

Hey!

---

Lament of a Friend
I am like a bird, by nelly furtado

You’re Courageous
Thats for sure
Youll never ever fade
Your lonely
But it’s not for long
I won’t ever hold you back
but my friendship
is real; though
my friendship, it’s true

[Chorus]
I am like a gull
I need to fly away
I dont know where my soul is
I dont know where my home is
I am like a gull
I need to fly away
I dont know where my soul is
I dont know where my home is

. .. and Samwise, I need for you to know it

All you need to know is
your faith in me
Brings me to tears
even after all these years
and it pains me so much
to see that you don’t believe
in yourself
though my friendship is real
though my friendship is true

I am like a gull
I need to fly away
I dont know where my soul is
I dont know where my home is
I am like a gull
I need to fly away
I dont know where my soul is
I dont know where my home is

. ... and Samwise, I need for you to know it

It’s not that I wanta say goodbye
and every time you try to cheer me
you merely wound me
each and every single day
I know I’m gonna have to
eventually sail away

Though my friendship is real
Though my friendship is true
Understand that we may
Meet again on the Thither Shore someday

I am like a gull
I need to fly away
I dont know where my soul is
I dont know where my home is
I am like a gull
I need to fly away
I dont know where my soul is
I dont know where my home is

. .. and Samwise, I need for you to know it


((((((Frodo and Sam)))))))

---

The Lord Elfstone on microphone with Lord Elrond and the All Eriador Halfling Back-up Singers, Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin!!

I Just Don't Want To Be King
I just can't wait to be King, LionKing Soundtrack

Aragorn:
I don't wanna be a king, don't even want to go there!

Elrond:
(spoken) Well, you're gonna have to become one to marry
my daughter fair


Aragorn:
I'd rather be a Ranger, thanks
Kings have to dress too fine
And I don't have a thing to wear
And I haven't got the time.

Elrond:
(spoken)Your lack of ambition is an uninspiring thing

Aragorn:
Oh, I just don't want to be king!

Frodo:
No one saying do this
Elrond: (spoken) Now when I said that --

Sam:
No one saying be there
Elrond: (spoken) What I meant was --

Pippin:
No one saying stop that
Elrond: (spoken) What you don't realize --

Merry:
No one saying see here
Elrond: (spoken) Now see here!

Hobbit chorus:
Free to run around in the Wild
Elrond: (spoken)That's definitely out!

Aragorn:
Free to leave my hair unstyled!

Elrond:
(spoken) I think it's time that you and I arranged a heart-to-heart

Aragorn:
What makes you think your daugther
Wants to marry an upstart?


Elrond:
(spoken) If this is where the monarchy is headed
Count me out
Out of service, out of Middle-earth
I wouldn't hang about
If I didn't have to stay and destroy Sauron's Ring

Aragorn:
Oh, I just don't want to be king!

Merry:
First they call him Longshanks

Pippin:
Then they call him Strider

Sam and Frodo:
This guy has more names than
There are legs on a spider!

Aragorn and Hobbit CHORUS:
Shout it from the roofs and from the Tower
It's gonna be Elessar's finest hour
Good thing he did not want to claim the Ring

Aragorn:
Oh, I just don't want to be king!

Hobbits:
Oh, He just don't want to be king!

Aragorn:
Oh, I just don't want...

Hobbits:
Just don't want...

All sing:
To be king!

---

The Road
Circle of Life

From the day you opened the letter
And held up the One Ring up to your eye
You committed yourself to the Fate of an Elf
Into danger you would have to fly

There is far too much at risk here
Further to go than can right now be guessed
But the Sun rolling high
Strikes your sapphire eyes
As you humbly accept your Quest

It's the Road that goes on
And it leads us all
Through despair and hope
Through faith and love
Till we find our place
On the path unwinding
On the Road
The Road that goes on

---

Inside The Shire
Under The Sea, The Little Mermaid's Jimminy-Crab Song

The Treasure is always richer
In somebody else’s tale
You dream about going out there
Like you're seeking a holy grail
Just look at the world around you
Right here in the Shire green
Such wonderful things around you
What more does you wanna’ be seenin'?

Inside the Shire, Inside the Shire
Darling, you should adore
Beloved Eriador
These hills I admire!

Out in the world they work all day
Big folks and Wizards, keep away!
Leave us to our smoking
Sitting round and joking
Here in the Shire

In here all the hobbits is happy
Eating and sleeping is all they know
The folk in the world ain’t happy
They sad ‘cos they under the Shadow
But hobbits in the Shire is lucky
They in for no worser fate
Than eating a little too much
Trying to clean off their plate

What, no!
Me, leave the Shire? Why leave the Shire?
Here nobody beat us, boss us or any-thing of us require
We what the Big Folks loves to ignore
Why would you wanna go there and explore?
We got no bad news
Never wear our shoes!
Inside the Shire, Inside the Shire
Inside the Shire, Inside the Shire
Since life is sweet here
We got the beat here
Naturally

All of the Stoor and the Harfoot
They can really make them horns toot!
We got the spirit, you got to hear it
Inside the Shire

Daddy Two-foot play the flute
Frodo play the oboe
Sam can bake some ham
And the cheese is very sharp
Merry cobbles cherries
Pippin sings while flippin'
The Gaffer is the Tater King!
Bilbo loads his pipe
And Gandalf makes it burn
Old Winyard in the gobblet
We have no great concerns!
So come on, take off your hat
You know where the party's at
And oh, that smoke-ring blow!

Inside the Shire, Inside the Shire
Inside the Shire, Inside the Shire
When the halfling begin the beguine
It’s music to me
What do Men got? They're tall and hearty
We got the makings of a Birthday Party!

Each little Chubb here has plenty of grub here
Inside the Shire
Don't spill your mug, dear, on my new rug, dear
Inside the Shire
Each little Took here know how to cook here
That's why the Thain here
Is planting more grain, dear
That's why I think that
It doesn't stink here
Inside the Shire!

(moves out of the country and changes her name to protect her family from disgrace and the heavy hand of the Disney Police)

---

Periannath
tune: Melt With You , by Modern English

Moving forward using all my breath
Carrying you thou it brings me to death
I saw the world crashing in your cerulean eyes
As the Ring was unmade amid Smeagol’s shrieking cries

I’ll save the world and die with you
You’ve made the difference and
It’s getting better all the time
There’s nothing I would rather do
Than save the world and die with you

(You are the Bearer )
Dream of better lives freedom from all fear
(You bring the Ring)
Where everyone is equal to his peer
(You are the Bearer )
You made a pilgrimage to save this Middle earth
(You bring the Ring)
Never considering the cost to yourself


(We’ll save the world )
I’ll save the world and die with you
(I’ll save the world )
You’ve made the difference and it’s getting better all the time
(Let’s save the world )
There’s nothing I would rather do
(Let’s save the world )
Than save the world and die with you

The future’s open wide

(We saved the world )
The Ring is gone and we still live
(Down the Tower is hurled )
We’ve seen the eagles and taking us back to the west
(We saved the world )
There’s nothing you and I can’t do
(We saved the world )
I would have been proud to die with you

The future’s open wide

hmmm hmmm hmmm
hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm
hmmm hmmm hmmm
hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm

---

Meriadoc the Magnificent
Strawberry Fields Forever, by the Beatles

Let me get my sword, ’cause I’m riding to Pelennor Fields.
This battle is real and we’re hopelessly outnumbered
Pelennor Fields forever.

Living was easy with eyes closed, tagging a ride all the way from Bree.
It’s getting hard to view the sky through all this smoke; it makes it very
hard to see.

Let me get my shield, ’cause I’m riding to Pelennor Fields.
This battle is real and the orcs are as thick as buttermilk
Pelennor Fields forever.

I’d rather be somewhere smoking pipeweed, I’m not as short as I once was.
That is, more than Pip, but you know, not as much as Aragorn, that is I think
I’m growing up

Let me get my helm, ’cause I’m riding to Pelennor Fields.
This battle is real and I won’t be left behind now!
Pelennor Fields forever.

Eòwyn, no Dernhelm, think it’s her, but you know I don’t know if it’s a dream
I think I know, I mean, I guess, perhaps and maybe, that is I think that
he’s a ’She’

Let me ride to war, ’cause I’m going to Pelennor Fields.
I shouldn’t be here, but I’ve got a witchking to hamstring...
Pelennor Fields forever.
Pelennor Fields forever.

---

Fate of the Bearer
tune: Part Of Your World, lil' mermaid soundtrack

Frodo sings:
Look at this Ring
Isn't it neat?
Why doesn't it melt in the furnace's heat?
What makes you think I'm the one
The one who must bear the ring?
Look at my face
Reflecting the gold
How many wonders can one Hobbit be told?
Looking at me here you think
Sure, he's got everything
I've got maps and memoirs a-plenty
I've got weskits and wizards galore
You want me to go where?
Bree is twenty
Leagues from here
No big deal
I'm out the door...


I wanna go where the Eldar are
I wanna know, wanna know their stories
Sailing away on those - what do you call 'em?
Oh - ships!

Sitting in the Shire, you don't get too far
You have to go out, to seek Adventure
Strolling through the wild, maybe I will find
Bilbo!

Out with my friends armed with a knife
Out were we'll fight for our very life
Force me to roam, I cannot stay home
This is my fate


What would I give if I could live out my years here?
What would I pay to remain a simple hobbit?
Bet'cha these folks will never understand
That they don't ever know their danger
Can't let Mordor come to this door
Ready to go


I'm ready to know what my uncle knows
I will follow his step and maybe get some answers
What is the Eye and why does it search at me and
Burn?

Always I'll yearn
When will I learn, learn to refuse this thing I don't choose
I hear the sea
Wish I could free
Myself from this fate

---

I Forged the Ring
I Write The Songs, by Barry Manilow


I've been alive forever,
and I tricked the Elves of Hollin.
I pretended to the the Lord of Gifts,
I am Sauron,
and I forged the Ring


I forged the One that Rules all the Rings
I forged the One with malice and nasty things
I forged the One that makes Men my mindless slaves
I forged the One, I forged the One


My home lies deep in the land of Mordor
Behind the Mountains of Ash
Now, when I look out through my Eye,
I'm in control again, 'cause the Elves' time is past

I forged the One that Rules all the Rings
I forged the One with malice and nasty things
I forged the One that makes Men my mindless slaves
I forged the One, I forged the One

Oh, my Ring devours faith
As it turns you into a wraith
and I sent some Nazgul to bring it back.
Terror fills your heart
Well, I'll bet that shoulder-wound really smarts!
It's from me it's for you,
'cause you dare keep it from me
So you will never escape the agony


I forged the One that Rules all the Rings
I forged the One with malice and nasty things
I forged the One that makes Men my mindless slaves
I forged the One, I forged the One

I am Sauron, and I am the Lord of the Rings.

---

The Dark Lord Goes Boom! (dedicated to Sala Baker)
tune: Bad Bad Leroy Brown

Well on the Eastside of Gondor
Is the baddest land by far
And if you go down there
You better just beware
Of a dude named Sauron Gorthaur

Now Sauron';s more than trouble
You see he stand 'bout eight foot four
All the downtown ladies call him Tower of Power
All the men just call him ‘Lord'

And it's bad, bad Sauron Gaurth
The baddest dude in Middle earth
Badder than Saurman
And meaner than a rabid orc!

Now Sauron he's a Dark Lord
And he like his fancy clothes
And he like to use his golden Ring
To ensnare everybody's souls
He got a custom mithril wardrobe
He got an army or two
He got a Big Red Eye that lights up the sky
And a palantiri, too

And it's bad, bad Sauron Gaurth
The baddest dude in Middle earth
Badder than Saurman
And meaner than a rabid orc!

Now in May, 'round the 25th
Sauron was raising war
And outside of the Gate
Was the Heir of Gondor
And ooo!  that king was sore!
Well, he loosed his armies on him
And the trouble soon began
'Cause Sauron Gorthaur learned a lesson
'Bout overlooking the little man!

And it's bad, bad Sauron Gaurth
The baddest dude in Middle earth
Badder than Saurman
And meaner than a rabid orc!

Well, the Ring it fell into the Fire
And when the dust cloud settled down
Sauron was no where to be seen,
‘Cept an oily spot on the ground!

(((Sala)))

---

Elf in the Moon
tune: Man on the Moon, by REM

Frodo the Hobbit and the Ring of Fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Aragorn Elessar returns at last. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
It will take a while for me to get this off my chest. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Mister Peregrin looking for the breakfast mess. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Let's play our last card, let's take the risk. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
See you at the havens if you make the list. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey Samwise, did you hear about this one? Tell me, am I still locked in the tower?
Hey Samwise, are you goofing on Elvish? Hey friend, what is the hour?
If you believed there is an Elf in the moon, Elf in the moon
You can believe there's someone watching out for me, and I am their tool

Gandalf went walking with the staff of wood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Pippin got beaned by the apple good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Rohan was troubled by the horrible orcs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Look at Saurman bobbing like a cork. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey Samwise, did you hear about this one? Tell me, am I still locked in the tower?
Hey Samwise, are you goofing on Elvish? Hey friend, what is the hour?
If you believed there is an Elf in the moon, Elf in the moon
If you believe there's someone watching out for me, then you are a fool

Here's a little shadow on my heart. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Here's a little ghost wearing my cloak. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Here's a tavern instead of Bag End. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Mister Meriadoc has gone wandering again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey Samwise, did you hear about this one? Tell me, am I still locked in the tower?
Hey Samwise, are you goofing on Elvish? Hey friend, what is the hour?
If you believed there is an Elf in the moon, Elf in the moon
If you believe there's someone watching out for me, then you are a fool

If you believed there is an Elf in the moon, Elf in the moon
If you believe there's someone watching out for me, then you are a fool
If you believed there is an Elf on the moon, Elf on the moon
If you believe there's someone watching out for me, then you are a fool
If you believed there is an Elf on the moon, Elf on the moon
If you believe there's someone watching out for me, then you are a fool

Frodo the Hobbit comes home again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
There is a King in Fornost again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
It will take a while to get me back to my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Mister Samwise has a pretty wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Let's rebuild the Shire, then I must away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
See you at the Havens on my next birthday. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

If you believed there is an Elf on the moon, Elf on the moon
If you believe there's someone watching out for me, then I am the fool

---

Gamgee Garfunkle
tune: Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard

Gammer Gamgee rolled out of bed, and she ran to the shirriff station
When the Gaffer found out, he began to shout, and he started the investigation
We had left the Shire, we had left the Shire
Fear, foes, and fire, we had left the Shire
Gammer looks down and tears fall on the ground ev'ry time my name gets spoken
And Gaffer say "Oy, if I get that boy
Over his bottom this switch will be broken."
I'm on my way, I don't know where I'm goin',
I'm on my way, I'm takin' my time, but I don't know where.

Goodbye to Rosie, the Queen of my heart
See Pip, me and Frodo down by the hedgerow
See Pip, me and Frodo down by the hedgerow

In about a year, they'll look up and see us here
And we'll scour out the Shire
And when the Bad Men are gone and Sharky's fallen
We're the heroes of the hour

But for now, we're on our way, I don't know where I'm goin'
We're on our way, I'm takin' my time, but I don't know where

Goodbye to Rosie, the Queen of my heart
See Pip, me and Frodo down by the hedgerow
See Pip, me and Frodo down by the hedgerow
See Pip, me and Frodo down by the hedgerow

---

Loth sings her frustration about ROTK..
My feeling about the movies that have been obsessing me for nearly 4 years now... to a vaguely recognizable tune....

A fanatic sings to P. Jackson
tune:  Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad, by Meat Loaf

PJ we can talk all night
But that ain't gettin us nowhere
I told you everything I love in these books
There's nothing you can leave out of them

And PJ you can change the light
But that'll never change the way I see
The fanmail is really piling up outside
I wish you wouldn't make me wait longer

I watched the first movie and it was like some art
I tried to tell you just how much I feared
That you would leave out all my favourite parts
But you've been on a roll so long
You don't realize you're breaking hearts
And all I can do is keep on telling you

I loved FOTR, I loved TTT
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna forgive you
For gutting it out (grumble whine and pout)
Now don't be sad
'Cause I still want to see ROTK bad!

I'll never forgive you for leaving out Glorfindel
I'll never understand why Bombadil was robbed
I know you can't please all the fans all of the time
But what is it with leaving out the scene
Where Samwise tells Faramir about the Ring?
I can't lie, I cant tell you that I loved every bit
No matter how I try
I'll never be able to get over you turning
Arwen into Joan of Arc

There's only one story I'll ever love
I read it so many years ago
And I know I'll always feel that special magic again
Whenever I read it over
Ooh I know

I remember how you tempted me with the perfect cast
Your Frodo is the one in my head
And though I cursed out loud and fought against being drug through that door
I went to the movies and loved them
And I kept on seeing them
I kept on seeing them
I kept on seeing them

I loved FOTR, I loved TTT
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna forgive you
For gutting it out (grumble whine and pout)
Now don't be sad
'Cause I still want to see ROTK bad!

I loved FOTR, I loved TTT
But there ain't no way I'm ever gonna forgive you
For gutting it out (grumble whine and pout)
Now don't be sad
'Cause I still want to see ROTK bad!

PJ we can talk all night
But that ain't getting us nowhere....

---