Light Verse for LOTR 4
Verses Index

Contents of this page:
Blocked - JimboBaggins
Lobelia, an Ode - Primula
Lobelia, Mistress of Spoons - Doctor Gamgee
Spooning in the Tree - Primula
The Teeth of Sauron - Primula
Crebain News from Helms Deep - Beruthless
A Boast from the Black Gate - Primula
Look Over There - Dinledhwen
An Easter Egg Roll - Ringwraith-Wife
Duet Two It - Lothithil
They're Throwing Rocks at Me, Mama! - Ringwraith-Wife
Clerihew for Viggo - Ringwraith-Wife
Clerihew for Tolkien - Yaralindi
Clerihews for those Others - Primula
Gollum's Lament - Doctor Gamgee
A Rough (Draft) Start - Primula



Blocked

What to write? It’s such a fright,
To find your mind is blank.
My pen is dry and to be quite frank,
I can’t think of anything right.

So many lands, names and places and such,
in the Professor’s world to aid and to inspire.
Elves and dwarves, Kings, Queens and Hobbits in the Shire.
Looking for rhymes, lines and prose is becoming all too much!

Maybe this offering will open the way,
To fill my blank screen and empty page
Can I find the words I seek and pretend to be a sage,
then to write another poem in this or any another day?
- JimboBaggins
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Lobelia...an Ode...

Lobelia, how fine thy breath,
Fine as cheesecloth with more breadth,
Your eyes are tiny, dark and crinkly,
Like sweetest raisins, plump and wrinkly.
And O, thy figure! How sharp, how neat!
What raptures, the curls upon thy feet -
Umbrella-topp'd, a true delight,
I'll watch for thee both day and night.

 -Primula


Lobelia, Mistress of Spoons

Lobelia, my yearning heart croons,
And my mind swims and joyfully swoons.
But V-day's gone amiss,
And with Shelob's sweet kiss,
I go West, oh sweet mistress of Spoons.
- Doctor Gamgee
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Lobelia and Otho a-spooning in a tree,
Just above the windows on the Hill, you see -
Close to the doorways and yet out of sight,
A-spooning they are by the pale moonlight.
Strange birds they seem, on the limbs a sittin',
Folk would take a gander but it don't seem fittin' -
What's Frodo see when a look he finally dares?
They've hidden half of his household up there!
- Primula


The Teeth of Sauron

Behold the Mouth of Sauron,
Behold his bizarre twisted smile,
Beneath the habitual evil grin
He sure hasn't brushed in a while.

O woe! The Teeth of Sauron,
Too big for the Mouth to hold,
Too sharp, always cutting the floss off,
Too pointy, too big, too old.

Poor Sauron, he strains a hot stew
Through his facial filter, down South.
Though he may rue that he cannot chew,
He leaves his Teeth with his Mouth.

Perhaps one day he will claim them,
Once again wear his dentures with pride,
If only he could get that Ring back,
His head might swell up to that size.
- Primula



Crebain news from Helm's Deep

Tat tat splat scat, door, more floor....
That pat chaaat chaaaat, bore, sore score...
Voir far a-far, war, nor corps.
- Beruthless 


A Boast from the Black Gate

Now I may not be much to look at,
Though Lord knows I shore been eyed -
I can't recollect quite what I'm called,
Don't really know if I'm hairy or bald,
But by golly, I can chew more gum than a crew
With this mouth near a mile wide!

Oh, and by the way...I have this shiny shirt....tain't yores is it? Dangit, too small fer me...
- Primula


Look Over There

Look over there
By yonder tree
No not the hare
Can you not see?
Oh honestly!
Open your eyes!
Yes by that tree
No I’m not high!

He’s standing there
As bold can be
Now don’t you dare
Make fun of me!
For I can see
And that’s no lie
His look of glee
No I’m not high!

He’s elvish fair!
Why can’t you see!
His golden hair
Now he’s seen me!
Oh honestly!
Use your two eyes!
Yes by the tree
No I’m not high!

Let go of me!
I speak no lie!
He’s by the tree!
No I’m not high!
- Dinledhwen
-


An Easter Egg Roll
... (Like no other!)


See Gimli there, our dwarf-y-roo
Singing 'Tisket and a Tasket'
While Theoden, he hunts anew
Eggs for Eowyn's own basket.
Knowing Legolas' mind set
(he'll try to win it in a stroll
or maybe in a pirouette)
The Middle Earth Easter Egg Roll

Look, Aragorn just scooped up two
And stuck them on his coronet
The Hobbits did what Hobbits do
They et and et and et and et.
While Gandalf, fireworks he set,
Boromir snatched eggs from a troll
("Dad, ...Faramir, we have a bet")
The Middle Earth Easter Egg Roll

Now Sauron, he felt left out --ooooo!-
(For he only wanted ONE, pet)
The Uruk-Hai felt left out, too
The orcs were getting quite upset
And Saruman, ( that martinet )
Cried "WORM! ... your basket, take a stroll!"
Then Gollum hid what he could get
The Middle Earth Easter Egg Roll

But Sam and Frodo did not sweat
On Easter Eggs, they took a toll
Enough to fill a bassinet
The Middle Earth Easter Egg Roll

FRODO AND SAM !!
:-D
WE HAVE OUR WINNERS!!
- Ringwraith-Wife
 


Duet Two It

I'm an Elf, whoa-oh! from the faraway Green
Oh, yes, I'm an Elf--like you've never seen
No matter how much fightin' I do--I'm always clean!
--yeah-yeah!

I'm a Dwarf, oh lord! I'm a Dwarf from the North
I'm as tough as they come, yes, and I carry my worth
Though it is said that I lack a degree of mirth...
--oh, yeah!

We're stuck with each other, bound together in need
Gotta put up with each other, if Middle-earth's to be freed...
But that don't mean we got to like each other, no indeed!
--cha cha cha!
- Lothithil


*RW flips through her collection of blues albums - HOWLING HALDIR - ROSIE COTTON'S LAMENT - BOROMIR'S BLUES - THE STEWARDS STOMP - MORDOR RAG - ORC'IN AT THE ORTHANC - MATHOM MALADY MELODY- ... pulls out her copy of ROCKIN' WITH GORBAG and THE ORC-ETTES, adjusts her earphones... presses PLAY*
 

They're Throwin' rocks at me mama, Throwin' rocks all the time
*oh Yeah!*
They're throwin' rocks at me mama, Say the fault is all mine
*uh huh!*
Guess I shoulda' left those heads on... oh what fun, I'm such slime
*You so right brother*

Minas Tirith in terror, I'm a creep in my prime *say it again, man*
Minas Tirith in terror, Total war, so sublime *HAH!*
That's why they throw those rocks , mama... I'm a creep in my prime.

*JUST THEN!... An enormous bolder crashes through RW's window
0.0  ... She sees her record player is shattered  ... and decides to give up the blues!  :-D


- Ringwraith-Wife
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VIGGO PETER MORTENSEN
For whom so many have a yen
Of whom, oh millions, must have dreamt
Unwashed, unshaven, most unkempt
- Ringwraith-Wife


John Ronald Tolkien
With words made a scene.
With characters full of grit
Though never of poor Figwit.
- Yaralindi


Clerihews for those "others"...

Albert Drearie
Skewed and bleary,
Burping carrot inside Bree,
Looks a lot like somebody...   ;-)

Figwit
There sits,
Many fans for lookin' fine,
Won "My Lady!" for his line.

Rohan's Freda,
Much in need-a,
Rick-cot-tree that burnin' gig,
Would ride off, but horse "too big!"

Lurtz
Hurts,
Bezerks,
Splurts.
- Primula


Gollum's Lament

Something that is never eaten,
Not when mashed, or fried or beaten,
Wouldn't even put my feet in:
Stupid Hobbit's taters!
Not a food that I'll be eatin'
Drop them into Craters!
- Doctor Gamgee

From a discussion upon the rough draft of the Hobbit, in which Gandalf's orginal name was Bladorthin, and the HoME books, with Bingo and Morphing Odo.

A Rough (Draft) Start

'A great adventure shall begin,
I'm sure you'll see it through,'
Quoth grey-bearded Bladorthin,
And booted Bingo too.

'Don't leave me out!' cried Odo then,
'Schizophrenic though I be,
I'll be beside you all the way,
For there's so much of me.'
- Primula


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