Lobelia, Mistress of Spoons
Lobelia, my yearning heart croons,
And my mind swims and joyfully swoons.
But V-day's gone amiss,
And with Shelob's sweet kiss,
I go West, oh sweet mistress of Spoons.
- Doctor Gamgee
Lobelia and Otho a-spooning in a tree,
Just above the windows on the Hill, you see -
Close to the doorways and yet out of sight,
A-spooning they are by the pale moonlight.
Strange birds they seem, on the limbs a sittin',
Folk would take a gander but it don't seem fittin' -
What's Frodo see when a look he finally dares?
They've hidden half of his household up there!
- Primula
The Teeth of Sauron
Behold the Mouth of Sauron,
Behold his bizarre twisted smile,
Beneath the habitual evil grin
He sure hasn't brushed in a while.
O woe! The Teeth of Sauron,
Too big for the Mouth to hold,
Too sharp, always cutting the floss off,
Too pointy, too big, too old.
Poor Sauron, he strains a hot stew
Through his facial filter, down South.
Though he may rue that he cannot chew,
He leaves his Teeth with his Mouth.
Perhaps one day he will claim them,
Once again wear his dentures with pride,
If only he could get that Ring back,
His head might swell up to that size.
Crebain news from Helm's Deep
Tat tat splat scat, door, more floor....
That pat chaaat chaaaat, bore, sore score...
Voir far a-far, war, nor corps.
The Teeth of Sauron
Behold the Mouth of Sauron,
Behold his bizarre twisted smile,
Beneath the habitual evil grin
He sure hasn't brushed in a while.
O woe! The Teeth of Sauron,
Too big for the Mouth to hold,
Too sharp, always cutting the floss off,
Too pointy, too big, too old.
Poor Sauron, he strains a hot stew
Through his facial filter, down South.
Though he may rue that he cannot chew,
He leaves his Teeth with his Mouth.
Perhaps one day he will claim them,
Once again wear his dentures with pride,
If only he could get that Ring back,
His head might swell up to that size.
- Primula
Crebain news from Helm's Deep
Tat tat splat scat, door, more floor....
That pat chaaat chaaaat, bore, sore score...
Voir far a-far, war, nor corps.
- Beruthless
A Boast from the Black Gate
Now I may not be much to look at,
Though Lord knows I shore been eyed -
I can't recollect quite what I'm called,
Don't really know if I'm hairy or bald,
But by golly, I can chew more gum than a crew
With this mouth near a mile wide!
Oh, and by the way...I have this shiny shirt....tain't yores is it? Dangit, too small fer me...
A Boast from the Black Gate
Now I may not be much to look at,
Though Lord knows I shore been eyed -
I can't recollect quite what I'm called,
Don't really know if I'm hairy or bald,
But by golly, I can chew more gum than a crew
With this mouth near a mile wide!
Oh, and by the way...I have this shiny shirt....tain't yores is it? Dangit, too small fer me...
- Primula
Look Over There
Look over there
By yonder tree
No not the hare
Can you not see?
Oh honestly!
Open your eyes!
Yes by that tree
No I’m not high!
He’s standing there
As bold can be
Now don’t you dare
Make fun of me!
For I can see
And that’s no lie
His look of glee
No I’m not high!
He’s elvish fair!
Why can’t you see!
His golden hair
Now he’s seen me!
Oh honestly!
Use your two eyes!
Yes by the tree
No I’m not high!
Let go of me!
I speak no lie!
He’s by the tree!
No I’m not high!
- Dinledhwen
-
An Easter Egg Roll
... (Like no other!)
See Gimli there, our dwarf-y-roo
Singing 'Tisket and a Tasket'
While Theoden, he hunts anew
Eggs for Eowyn's own basket.
Knowing Legolas' mind set
(he'll try to win it in a stroll
or maybe in a pirouette)
The Middle Earth Easter Egg Roll
Look, Aragorn just scooped up two
And stuck them on his coronet
The Hobbits did what Hobbits do
They et and et and et and et.
While Gandalf, fireworks he set,
Boromir snatched eggs from a troll
("Dad, ...Faramir, we have a bet")
The Middle Earth Easter Egg Roll
Now Sauron, he felt left out --ooooo!-
(For he only wanted ONE, pet)
The Uruk-Hai felt left out, too
The orcs were getting quite upset
And Saruman, ( that martinet )
Cried "WORM! ... your basket, take a stroll!"
Then Gollum hid what he could get
The Middle Earth Easter Egg Roll
But Sam and Frodo did not sweat
On Easter Eggs, they took a toll
Enough to fill a bassinet
The Middle Earth Easter Egg Roll
FRODO AND SAM !!
:-D
WE HAVE OUR WINNERS!!
Duet Two It
I'm an Elf, whoa-oh! from the faraway Green
Oh, yes, I'm an Elf--like you've never seen
No matter how much fightin' I do--I'm always clean!
--yeah-yeah!
I'm a Dwarf, oh lord! I'm a Dwarf from the North
I'm as tough as they come, yes, and I carry my worth
Though it is said that I lack a degree of mirth...
--oh, yeah!
We're stuck with each other, bound together in need
Gotta put up with each other, if Middle-earth's to be freed...
But that don't mean we got to like each other, no indeed!
--cha cha cha!
*RW flips through her collection of blues albums - HOWLING HALDIR - ROSIE COTTON'S LAMENT - BOROMIR'S BLUES - THE STEWARDS STOMP - MORDOR RAG - ORC'IN AT THE ORTHANC - MATHOM MALADY MELODY- ... pulls out her copy of ROCKIN' WITH GORBAG and THE ORC-ETTES, adjusts her earphones... presses PLAY*
They're Throwin' rocks at me mama, Throwin' rocks all the time
*oh Yeah!*
They're throwin' rocks at me mama, Say the fault is all mine
*uh huh!*
Guess I shoulda' left those heads on... oh what fun, I'm such slime
*You so right brother*
Minas Tirith in terror, I'm a creep in my prime *say it again, man*
Minas Tirith in terror, Total war, so sublime *HAH!*
That's why they throw those rocks , mama... I'm a creep in my prime.
*JUST THEN!... An enormous bolder crashes through RW's window
0.0 ... She sees her record player is shattered ... and decides to give up the blues! :-D
An Easter Egg Roll
... (Like no other!)
See Gimli there, our dwarf-y-roo
Singing 'Tisket and a Tasket'
While Theoden, he hunts anew
Eggs for Eowyn's own basket.
Knowing Legolas' mind set
(he'll try to win it in a stroll
or maybe in a pirouette)
The Middle Earth Easter Egg Roll
Look, Aragorn just scooped up two
And stuck them on his coronet
The Hobbits did what Hobbits do
They et and et and et and et.
While Gandalf, fireworks he set,
Boromir snatched eggs from a troll
("Dad, ...Faramir, we have a bet")
The Middle Earth Easter Egg Roll
Now Sauron, he felt left out --ooooo!-
(For he only wanted ONE, pet)
The Uruk-Hai felt left out, too
The orcs were getting quite upset
And Saruman, ( that martinet )
Cried "WORM! ... your basket, take a stroll!"
Then Gollum hid what he could get
The Middle Earth Easter Egg Roll
But Sam and Frodo did not sweat
On Easter Eggs, they took a toll
Enough to fill a bassinet
The Middle Earth Easter Egg Roll
FRODO AND SAM !!
:-D
WE HAVE OUR WINNERS!!
- Ringwraith-Wife
Duet Two It
I'm an Elf, whoa-oh! from the faraway Green
Oh, yes, I'm an Elf--like you've never seen
No matter how much fightin' I do--I'm always clean!
--yeah-yeah!
I'm a Dwarf, oh lord! I'm a Dwarf from the North
I'm as tough as they come, yes, and I carry my worth
Though it is said that I lack a degree of mirth...
--oh, yeah!
We're stuck with each other, bound together in need
Gotta put up with each other, if Middle-earth's to be freed...
But that don't mean we got to like each other, no indeed!
--cha cha cha!
- Lothithil
*RW flips through her collection of blues albums - HOWLING HALDIR - ROSIE COTTON'S LAMENT - BOROMIR'S BLUES - THE STEWARDS STOMP - MORDOR RAG - ORC'IN AT THE ORTHANC - MATHOM MALADY MELODY- ... pulls out her copy of ROCKIN' WITH GORBAG and THE ORC-ETTES, adjusts her earphones... presses PLAY*
They're Throwin' rocks at me mama, Throwin' rocks all the time
*oh Yeah!*
They're throwin' rocks at me mama, Say the fault is all mine
*uh huh!*
Guess I shoulda' left those heads on... oh what fun, I'm such slime
*You so right brother*
Minas Tirith in terror, I'm a creep in my prime *say it again, man*
Minas Tirith in terror, Total war, so sublime *HAH!*
That's why they throw those rocks , mama... I'm a creep in my prime.
*JUST THEN!... An enormous bolder crashes through RW's window
0.0 ... She sees her record player is shattered ... and decides to give up the blues! :-D
- Ringwraith-Wife
