Light Verse for LOTR 1
Verses Index 
Contents of this page, alphabetical by title:

A Little Ditty from Mervyn - Cadsuane
A Poem by Mervyn - Cadsuane
Al luvador,orlando - Fonte Angel
Aragorn's Hair - Dinledhwen
Aragorn's Revenge - Lothithil
The Day has Come - casper
Elijah Wood is perfect! - Pointy-eared Took
Gimli, a Poetic Biography - Wheathills
How 'Bout them Hobbits - Mr. Underhill
I think that I shall never see - Pippin's Scarf
It's Good Not to be the King - Lothithil
Love Poem for Lurtz - Elethril
Love Poem for Orc #17 - Elethril
Never a better friend Frodo could meet - Pointy-eared Took
Ode to Viggo - Lightpoet
The Oliphaunt - Peregrine
One movie to woo them all, one movie to find them - goldenberry
Saruman Arrowman went for a walk. - Dandy B
There are really no words to describe this great elf - Poiny-eared Took
Walking through the Wood - Telcontar

There are really no words to describe this great elf.
The closest, I think, would be HOT!
I'm sitting here drooling all over myself
And thinking un-postable thoughts.

He's always the bravest in every battle
He's stolen our hearts with his bow.
He stuns with expressions, instead of with prattle
And skillfully vanquishes foe.

He serves as the fellowship's eyes and ears
(And cuter ears you can't find ;-)
He's wise and strong beyond his years
True, compassionate, kind.

He's gorgeous in all of his elven might.
I simply am fainting of lust!
I spend all my time on those Orli websites
(That drool bucket is a MUST)

Hotter and hotter he gets by the hour
(I'm lost in a puddle of drool)
A superior being with superhuman power
He's just so amazingly cool!

He whisks us off to a fanciful realm
He makes me want to sing!
And every time I see the film
I note some new swoonable thing.

It's just got to stop, or we all shall drown soon!
This puddle's becoming a pool!
Swoon, swoon, swoon, swoon, swoon, swoon, swoon
And drool, drool, drool, drool, drool.

We're all just swimming in oceans of drool
And it's such an incredible sight.
To see grown ladies act like they're back in high school,
As over "the hottest?" they fight.

Now I must admit that technically
Elves ARE above the rest
But truthfully, I must decree
I still like hobbits best!
- Pointy-Eared Took

Elijah Wood is perfect!
Elijah Wood is grand!
Although he still lives with his mum,
And never lends a hand!

He doesn't know how to make pasta
(I guess he'll leave that up to Sam)
But I tell you, if I was his girlfriend,
I wouldn't give a darn!

He doesn't do his laundry
But I don't really care.
I wouldn't mind the task at all
Of washing his underwear ;-)

He isn't a Tolkien authority.
He didn't read the book.
But honestly, that doesn't deter
This smitten little Took.

He has an elvish '9' tattoo
(Incredibly sexy ;-)
He said it hurt like a mother. (hehe)
But it's something I'm DYING to see!

There are some who do not like him.
(Those people are so mean!)
But as for me, I'll contemplate
That naked Hobbit scene.
- Pointy-Eared Took

Never a better friend Frodo could meet
Than this little hobbit with hair on his feet.
Dear loyal Sam, so stalwart and true.
He'll even brave rivers that make him all blue.
But the best thing of all about this little guy
Is how he can make Rosie swoon and sigh.
His pants are a topic of interest these days
And that can be taken in multiple ways
The chance to restate that, I just could not pass.
And now our sweet Rosie will come kick my ***.
- Pointy-Eared Took

I think that I shall never see
A hobbit as wonderful as sweet Billy
As Pip he makes us laugh and cry
An actor of merit is that Glaswegian guy

Ne'er truer a hobbit was e'er in the Shire
As the Pippin who many (so rightly) admire
As Merry's best pal he's seldom alone
He's stout and he's brave (even though accident prone)

With crystal green eyes and a voice that's sublime
I'd travel to Mordor if only he'd be mine
Why not praised yet in song is anyone's guesses
For this hobbit never forgets second breakfast or elevenses

While in Moria's mines he fought brave and true
And in the aftermath his grief tore my heart in two
For Frodo, Merry, and Sam ne'er had truer a friend
Than Pip, who fought with Boromir 'till the very end

I'd like to tell all what becomes of Peregrin Took
But that'd spoil the suprise, don't be lazy, read the book
I can however glimpse into the future's hazy void
And see a great future for the actor Billy Boyd!
- Pippin's Scarf

Ode to Viggo
There is a man in Middle-Earth
Who is really, really, hot;
But some girls do not like him
Because Elijah Wood he's not...

Though Elijah is a china doll,
And Orli makes us drool,
And Sam has some fantastic pants...
Viggo could take them ALL to school.

He has a loyal following;
He's hot and we know it
And we liked him more when we found out:
He's an artist and a poet!

You can keep your hobbits
And you can keep your Elves...
But don't you rag on Viggo,
Keep your comments to yourselves!

And, as for me, I love him
And I do not care
If his hair's a little dirty...
Cuz I'm NOT looking at his hair!!!
- Lightpoet

Al luvador,orlando
arrows and bows,
piecre right thru,
he is sharp and fast,to do a thing or two,
he's great at this and my hero too,
a true gentleman,in the movie and out of it too,
i admire him all,for everything he does,
his fin hair and his brown eyes oh,gives me the drools...
i hope and pray god guides him thru,as he takes his walk on hollywood blues...
i love him not only for his looks,but his talent and voice and every bit too...
so,juz 4 you,my orlando dude,i wrote tis poem and hope you like it too.
from your ever supporting fan,with all my luv,
fonte al vandoirae orlando,means i'll always be there orlando
and i luv you
- FonteAngel

Walking through the Wood
I dreamt I walked Elijah Wood--
Not quite sure of where I stood;
I'm sure that you have dreamt it, too:
A Quest in search of that tattoo!
But while I wandered Elijah Wood,
Alas, I discovered, to my dismay,
That I had gone quite the wrong way
For I fell in his eyes...and drowned!
- Telcontar

Saruman Arrowman went for a walk.
with Lotho S-Baggins he wanted to talk.

A pipe full of Southfarthing he was looking to buy.
And he ended up with another useless spy.

When Frodo left Bag-End rack and ruin did start.
of which Mr. Arrowman played a great part.

He knocked down the trees. Polluted the river.
The desolation of the Shire, gave Sam guite a shiver.

But then at the end Arrowman got his reward.
a stab through the heart from Wormtongue's sword.

With the Shire restored, he lost in the end.
A lesson to all, not to evil to bend...

His name has become Bywater joke.
Quite fitting for this Saruman bloke.
- Dandy B

A Poem by Mervyn -- Dedicated to Gollum

Little fishy swimming by
Smoothly silver, sparkling eye.
Strongly muscled, juicy meat
For a second breakfast treat.

Flappy tail and stiff of fin,
Strong in water, not too thin,
Gills so red with promise sweet,
Darting wriggles, twists so fleet.

Crunchy bones and smooth edged scales,
Squeeze till movement slows and fails.
Linger on the salty taste,
Munch it all and leave no waste.

- Cadsuane

One movie to woo them all, one movie to find them
One movie to bring them all and in the fan club bind them
- goldenberry

Love Poem for Lurtz

You came from the mud
Kinda like a spud
But more sexy.

Seven feet tall
Baby it's aaaall

That dark line of drooool
Makes me want to swooooon
And scream, "I'll be your Halfling!"

So hey Mr. Lurtz
With you I'll share my yurt
Till you get your head chopped off.


- Elethril

Love Poem for Orc# 17

Your black skin so scaly
It makes my heart achy
When you screech like a dying llama.

Peircings all up your nose
I'd like to get my hands on those
Clammy wrinkled biceps.

Those misshapen ears
Bring me to tears
I whisper, "bhub-hosh, skai!"

So Orc Number Seventeen
Let's go out for ice cream
Before Legolas shoots you in the face.


- Elethril

A little ditty from Mervyn, dedicated to Gollum

Little fishy swimming by
Smoothly silver, sparkling eye.
Strongly muscled, juicy meat
For a second breakfast treat.

Flappy tail and stiff of fin,
Strong in water, not too thin,
Gills so red with promise sweet,
Darting wriggles, twists so fleet.

Crunchy bones and smooth edged scales,
Squeeze till movement slows and fails.
Linger on the salty taste,
Munch it all and leave no waste.

- Cadsuane

The Day has Come:

The day has come,
it's come at last
and now we'll get to see.

Extended scenes,
behind the scenes,
on the extended DVD.

And so it comes,
but still we'll wait,
to see Return of the King.

And when that day comes,
I know I'll be,
in the theaters crying.

Then nothing's left,
to wait and see,
except the ROTK DVD.
- casper

How Bout Them Hobbits
Aint They Neat
Playful And Impulsive
With Big Hairy Feet!
- MrUnderhill

Gimli - a poetic biography
When Gimli was a baby
His Daddy swelled with pride,
But adults fled at just one glimpse
And other babies cried.

If Mommy took him to the park
All around would stop and stare,
Yet baby Gimli would smile at them
Through his mass of facial hair.

When little Gimli went to school
All the children turned their backs,
So he would tip-toe up behind
And scare them with his axe.

But once they got to know him
They loved his style and grace,
So it didn't seem to matter
That they couldn't see his face.

By the time he went to college
Gimli was the coolest dwarf in town
And he was thrilled that on his Prom night
He was given the Prom Kings crown.

His yearbook entry made him laugh
Though he couldn't work out why
He was voted 'Most likely to succeed
In slaying Uruk-Hai'

So Gimli grew into a dwarf
With stature strong and fine
Then off went he to Rivendell
To become one of The Nine

The rest we know, we've read the book
It's written down for us to see.
We've grown to love this hairy dwarf
And the warrior he came to be.

(So, the moral of the story is
If you think that someone's weird,
Look really hard and you will find
A friend behind the beard).


The Oliphaunt

Overhill and over stream
Mashing things is a scream!
I get to kick and stomp and roar
Being an Oliphont's never a bore!
But there was the time I was in this battle
And, now don't think me a big tattle,
But there were these green ghostie things
And with fear it makes your blood sings
But wouldn't you know, just my luck--
The stupid ghosties attacked my butt!
- Peregrine

Aragorn’s HairA Lantern Poem

Needs a wash
Never stays clean

Aragorn's Revenge

Folks are always dis-ing me
'Cause of my lanky hair
No one seems to comment on
My steely, sea-gray stare

Nor do they take the time to comment
On my prowess with a sword
Gracefull as a ballet step, as I
Slaughter uruk-hai hoardes

My royal mein, my lantern jaw
My nicely grown in beard
I am the bloody King, you know
Someone to be honour and be feared!

But no... this is all I hear all day,
With Arwen giggling at what's said,
As she hands me another bottle of Suave...
I think I'll just shave my head!
- Lothithil

It's good not to be the King

It's nice to be the Steward's son
And bear the silver horn
It's pretty cool to be Denny's Heir
It's fun to be First Born

I am the captain of the Guard
My name my people sing
And best of all these wondrous things...
I don't have to become King!

No royal ballroom, no velvet drawers
No stuffy courtroom affairs
Nobody minds if I wear leather coats
Or if I ever wash my hair!

I am supposed to be a grimy Man
My contract says so clearly
If I was always perfectly coiffed
The fangirls would be chasing me!

They'd leave behind that lanky Ranger
And drop Frodo like a rock
And Orli's fans... well, if I was of a mind
I'd be shepherd of that flock!

But I am happy being me
An unprepossessing Man
I don't need the award of any Academy
With Linaewen as my biggest fan!
- Lothithil

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