Miscellaneous Bits for Gollum / Smeagol

Contents of this page:

Smeagol & Gollum Acrostic - Primula
Old Starved Pitiable Thing - Linaewen, a found poem
Gollum - Daughter of Rosie
My Name - Pippin's Sunshine
Gollum haiku - MithrandirCQ
Top Ten Things Never Heard in Smeagol's Trailer - Doctor Gamgee, with additions
Gollum in the Lake - Primula, a double-drabble
Why I Came to You - Ringwraith-Wife

An acrostic

Sniffing, always sniffing,
Meals are hidden deep, yet
Eat we must,
Ageless hungering for
Gold and fishes,
Old we are, so old, so tired,
Longing for darkness and rest.

Greed and lust driven, must
Only show the eyes, no more...
Looking always for the Baggins,
Looking and finding him not,
- Primula

This poem was 'found' in a passage in the chapter, "The Stairs of Cirth Ungol" in the book The Two Towers.

Old starved pitiable thing...

A fleeting moment, an old weary hobbit,
Shrunken by years, carried far beyond his time.

Crawling, creeping, lean hungry face;
Eyes dim and grey, old and tired.
A spasm of pain, and he turned away,
Engaged in some interior debate.
The gleam faded from his eyes, old, tired.

Slowly putting out a trembling hand, he touched;
Cautiously touched Frodo's knee, the touch a caress.
A fleeting moment, an old weary hobbit,
Shrunken by years, carried far beyond his time;
Beyond friends and kin,
Beyond fields and streams of youth.

Old starved pitiable thing...
- Linaewen


Creeping in the night
Choking people at his will
Frodo is his Doom.
- Daughter of Rosie

My Name
Double Drabble for Sméagol + 3 words

“Our precious. Oh so close.” Yes, Sméagol knew the way to the Black Lands. He wondered why his master wished such a path. Yes, he knew his precious was close, it invigorated him. Gollum was making plans to reclaim his present.

Master had heard him and woke with a start. Gollum ignore all the hobbit said. Then, “…Sméagol. That was your name wasn’t it?”

A light flashed in Gollum’s eyes. “My name…” His name seemed like something out of a long forgotten dream or legend. Too long had he been alone without friend, now someone knew his name. A friend.

Frodo looked at the miserable creature who pawed at him with pity. Even he knew that this was merely a skeleton of the hobbit-like creature who had once lived.

Frodo knew he had to be careful, the ring’s lure was powerful especially to one who had “owned” it for so long.

Frodo hoped Gandalf had been right. This poor soul might still respond to kindness. In the Dead Marshes, he took his chance. Gollum seemed to ignore Frodo until he said Gollum’s name. Frodo saw Gollum soften.
For a time, Sméagol seemed almost happy. Almost cheerful…eager to please…. Eager to save his precious.
- Pippin's Sunshine

Trahald or Smeagol
Hated, pitied, despised
My Preciousss calling
- Gollum
- MithrandirCQ

Top Ten Things Never Heard in Smeagol's Trailer

10. "No, thank you, I'm on Jenny Craig."

9. "My 'Seasons of Semagol' calendar has sold out?!?

8. "Can't we cut this a little higher on the hip?"

7. "Fish are our friends, not Food!"

6. "Pass the potatoes, please."

5. "I don't need any Bling today."

4. "This makeup doesn't bring out my eyes."

3. "What is 'bikini waxing' precious?

2. "I'm Arachnophobic"

1. "Does this costume make my butt look big?"
- Doctor Gamgee


11. "I can never remember my birthday..."

12. "Oh good, I got a discount on my tanning salon membership!" - Primula

13. Someone invite that Sean Astin chap around for dinner, will you? I really admire his technique.

14. Yes, but are my eyes bigger and bluer than Elijah's? They have to be! I need them to be in order to attract an overly ridiculous level of sympathy for my psychosis.

15. Psychosis? What psychosis? - Evermind

16. "Therapy really helped me. You should try it!"

17. "Tsk. I have so many friends, my calendar is just filled. I'll have to squeeze you in for tea next week." - Primula

18. Well, there's this very relaxing form of spirit meditation. Lots of incense, crystals, that sort of thing... It really has been so marvellous for getting me in touch with my inner self...

19. Of course, on those days when it all gets too much, I just go shoe shopping. - Evermind

20. "I swear by Charles Atlas, why my muscles are so much bigger now no one kicks sand in my face anymore." - Primula

Gollum in the Lake - a double drabble

What was it? What was this fumbling about on the gravelly strand that edged his lovely dark waters? It was not a goblin, he could see that, yes he could see it and it could not see him. Gollum's pale, large eyes narrowed with thought.

It was not a goblin, yet not a monster of any kind either. He sniffed the air that it stirred up, sniffed scents of pipesmoke caught in woolen twists, campfire and the tang of mountain air washed in rain. What was it, that sat flummoxed upon the pebbly shore? A tiny glimmer of something shone in the recesses of Gollum's mind, glimmered and was lost; a firefly at midnight, quenched... an ember of some fire long forgotten lest it burn. He frowned, and sniffed again.

It spoke. Not goblin-speech, no.... He knew the words, understood them. He was drawn to it, as a fish drawn to the wiggling tips of fingers because it seemed as the memory of something else, something real, filled with substance.

He dipped his hands in the waters and paddled them a bit. Perhaps he would find out.
- Primula

I came to you crushed and bruised
Black veils ripped and torn away
By the Great Eye used, abused
Nazgul seem, have gone to stay

Left me there with orcs and such
To ponder what I would do
Did I like his touch, not much
That is why I came to you.
- Ringwraith-Wife

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