It's good not to be the King
It's nice to be the Steward's son
And bear the silver horn
It's pretty cool to be Denny's Heir
It's fun to be First Born
I am the captain of the Guard
My name my people sing
And best of all these wondrous things...
I don't have to become King!
No royal ballroom, no velvet drawers
No stuffy courtroom affairs
Nobody minds if I wear leather coats
Or if I ever wash my hair!
I am supposed to be a grimy Man
My contract says so clearly
If I was always perfectly coiffed
The fangirls would be chasing me!
They'd leave behind that lanky Ranger
And drop Frodo like a rock
And Orli's fans... well, if I was of a mind
I'd be shepherd of that flock!
But I am happy being me
An unprepossessing Man
I don't need the award of any Academy
With Linaewen as my biggest fan!