Silly Poetry

Contents of this page:

An ME moment put to rhyme...Spring Cleaning in Far Harad - Linaewen
Boromir's addendum - Linaewen
Griznak Sprat - boriel
Little Orc (not to be confused w/Little Elf) - Shelob
Oh a Little Hobbit - Dabs
A Wall Fall - Shelob
The Marching Uruk-Hai (Ooga-chaka Ooga-chaka) - Joyful
A mummuu for Sean Bean? - Elwen
A mummuu for brave Aragorn? - Elwen
Two Ferrets and Bill Ferny - Sarielou
The One Ring of Deletion - Lightpoet
Three movies for the fans forging friendships - Hasty Ent
Message Board Mambo - Primula
Some Valentines - Arabee
The Fairest Blob - Blob
Dirge for a Sea-Faring Blob - Blob
The Lord of the Beans - Leggy Pants
Gaze-a-lot praise-a-lot - onone
Hobbledehoy Poem - Dr. Gamgee
Ode to the Fat Lady - Blue Eyes



An ME moment put to rhyme...Spring Cleaning in Far Harad

It is midday over here, and I was doing a little cleaning in the house we are staying in until we get permission to return to ours...and I had a ME moment (doesn't take much to set me off)! Big broom in hand, handkerchief over nose...here's what came of it:

There once was a housewife so busy,
The dust in her house made her dizzy!
She swept and she swept,
But that dust! It just kept
Coming in, throwing her into a tizzy!

Always thinking of Lord of the Rings,
The dust brought to mind several things;
She wondered if they
Had to spring clean this way
In the lands where the dusty wind sings.

She imagined that in Far Harad,
The dust must be terribly bad.
And that is why they
Cover noses that way;
It must make them really quite mad!

That housewife, she covered her nose,
And the dust that swept over her toes
Was attacked with a broom,
Until very soon
That dust in five dustpans reposed.

In Harad, the housewives are busy;
They are constantly in quite a tizzy!
While the men are off fighting,
The wives are home smiting
With brooms that which makes them feel dizzy!

From the dusty land of Far Harad...aka Pakistan....Lin

http://decipher.com/lordoftherings/cardlists/twotowers/large/LOTR-EN04238.html
[I called it "Armed for Sweeping" in the link]

Boromir's addendum

Boromir up on the shelf
Is wishing that he were an Elf.
They never get dirty
And don't have to worry
'Bout dust getting on their Elf self.

All over Boromir's gear
Is a layer of thick dust, I fear.
Spring cleaning's at fault,
So I've now called a halt
To the dust flying up in the air.

I've carefully wiped down his clothes
And reset his heroic pose.
His stern look's still there
Telling sweepers beware!
I'll cover him next time, I 'spose

- Linaewen



Griznack Sprat
could eat no fat
Ukluk could eat no lean
so i guess between themselves
they could pick a hobbit clean
- boriel



Little Orc (not to be confused w/Little Elf)

This little orc went to market
This little orc stayed home
This little orc had roast elf
This little orc had none
This little orc cried "elf, elf, elf" all the way home!
- Shelob



Oh a little hobbit
he said one day
come on out nasty spider
why don't we play

old tomnoddy
attercop attercop
my taunting it will
Never stop never stop

Oh a little hobbit
he went one night
to rescue 12 dwarf friends
from horror and a fright

old tomnoddy
attercop attercop
my taunting it will
Never stop never stop

Oh a little hobbit
he went slash and hack
such a valiant little hobbit
in a forest so black

old tomnoddy
attercop attercop
my taunting it will
Never stop never stop

oh a little hobbit
he was so true and brave
his incessant gibes and jeers
they are what saved the day

old tomnoddy
attercop attercop
my taunting it will
Never stop never stop

Oh a little hobbit
he made the spiders rage
oh how they flew about
but the hobbit saved the day!

old tomnoddy
attercop attercop
my taunting it will
Never stop never stop

- Dabs



A Wall Fall

The dwarf and the elf sat on a wall,
Suddenly, they took a fall.
This rhyme it has a twisted plot,
Aragorn calls for Athelas water, hot.
He heals the dwarf, he heals the elf,
And sets them back upon their shelf.
Forget the king's horses and the king's men,
Athelas, the wonder drug, triumphs again!

- Shelob



The Marching Uruk Hai

Ooga-chaka Ooga-chaka
I don't know but it's been said...
Ooga-chaka Ooga-chaka
Saruman's tower is close ahead...

Ooga-chaka Ooga-chaka
Running in the blazing sun...
Ooga-chaka Ooga-chaka
We won't stop! We fear no one!
Ooga-chaka Ooga-chaka

Sound off! One Two!
Bring it on down! Three Four!

One, two, three, four --
We are -- URUK HAI!

- Joyful



Some mummuu oddities for you. I'll understand if you're all mummuu'd out!

A mummuu for Sean Bean?

I sit beside the fire
And dream of mummuus that I've seen
On Elrond and sweet Legolas
But never on Sean Bean.

The man's a fashion victim
His dilema clear to see
To wear the horn beneath it
Or to let it dangle free?

I've heard that some
Wear dayglo green - that gave me quite a fright
Our Frodo wore a pink one
But they kept him out of sight.

I like Lord Elrond's brown one
But I've wondered many nights
Does he wear some pants beneath it
Or some pretty silken tights?

Poor Frodo didn't get one
When he stayed at Rivendell
But I think those silver PJ's
Realy suited him quite well

Orlando's backless number
Must be drafty on a horse
For when the wind's behind him
He must realy feel the force!

I hear tell there's a post box
That once wore one in bright green
All trimmed with pretty fairy lights
Although I've never seen.

And so I sit beside the fire
And sew one in pale green
But still, I wonder why
I've never seen one on the Bean.

- Elwen



A mummuu for brave Aragorn?

A mummuu for brave Aragorn
That's not an easy task
To fit around the gear he's worn
Why did you have to ask?

If I split it up the back
So that his bow his hand can reach
His sword would get all tangled
When orcs caught him in the breach

To split it up the side
To reach his sword would be the best
But then his elven arrows
Would get tangled in his vest.

A mummuu for brave Aragorn
That's not an easy task
I don't think that I am equal
And I wish you hadn't asked!

- Elwen



Two Ferrets and Bill Ferny

There once were two Ferrets and Bill Ferny,
The ferrets thought there was one Ferny too many,
So they fought and they fit,
And they scratched and they bit,
Till, excepting his toe nails,
and the mug of his ale,
Instead of one Ferny, there weren't any.

- Sarielou



The One Ring of Deletion
One Ring to edit them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to delete them all
And with Word Filters bind them!
- Lightpoet



Three movies for the fans forging friendships,
Seven nominations for the crew, receiving gold not stone,
Nine awesome companions called The Fellowship,
One gifted Director elevated to a throne,
In the land of Middle Earth, where the fans are.
One movie to rule them all, one movie to find them,
One movie to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,
In land of Middle Earth, where the fans are.
-Hasty Ent



Message Board Mambo
(with the rhythm, all together now...)

(Nt)
It was...
RO
TF
L!
Hee hee hee
But there's...
LOL!
LOL!

Txt
(M)
(more)
I
M
H
O
Re:
(nt)
(:
Oops...
Mambo!
Mambo!

):
:-D
Hi, I'm new!
Goodnight.
Where's...
And..
Here's
the
link -

Mambo, mambo!
question?...
Dude!
Well,
I
think...
Sweet!
(nt)
sorry, I was..
(((hugs)))
Let's meet!

Posting on
The message
Boards -
Such
A
Special treat.

- Primula



Some Valentines
- Arabee


*bounce bounce* Ooooooo....Oooooooooooo....hum hum hum
There was a blob in days of old,
A shining beauteous glop
Its membrane thick was full of ick
It shimmering never stopped.

A bubble did float upon its brow
Whereever that may be
A lovely blob so glopping fair
Was such a sight to see

Um.... hum hum hum hum hum hum Ooooooooooooooooo.....

*bounce bounce*

Its ooze was long, its hide was soft,
From girdles it was free,
And in the night it snored so light
It bubbled out of key.

Beside that blob of Middle Earth
No other blob ever showed,
For its voice like stretchy mucous fell,
Like a pool from a lovely nose.

Uh...I think I better stop now....

Hum hum hum hum hum hum hum, Oooooooooooooooooo...
- Blob

Dirge for a Sea-Faring Blob
Oh woe betide the sea-faring blob,
For its blobbish days are no more.
To float and bob along the tides
Largely oozing from shore to shore,
To bend with the waves,
Engulfing sea birds,
Squirting the brine aft to fore.
Oh woe betide the sea-faring blob,
For it shall blob no more.

Woe, woe, woe...
It's oozing days are o'er.

*sniffle*

Sushi, anyone?
- Blob

The Lord of the Beans
Three Lima Beans for the Elven-kings under the sky
Seven Kidney beans for the dwarf lords in their halls of stone
Nine green beans for mortal men doomed to die
One pimento for the Green Giant on his dark throne
In the Land of Processed food where the rusty cans lie
One pimento to rule them all
One pimento to find them
One pimento to bring them all and in the saucepan fry them
In the land of processed food where the rusty cans lie.
- Leggy Pants


Gaze-a-lot, praise-a-lot
Orli, the Jedi Knight
Dashingly handsome with
flaming red hair.
Freckles may be somewhat
ultra-a-typical
What does it matter? we
wish he was there!