The Washtub


A humble thing indeed I am,
And carried by the humble Sam.
Things must be washed, no matter where
The fellowship decides to fare.
On flatland or on mountaintop
The little laundry sets up shop.

Scrub, scrub, scrub, and wash them britches
Full of mud from swamp and ditches,
Rinse, rinse, rinse and wring them jockeys
And Aragorn’s and Gandalf’s sockies.

The washtub then does treble duty
Carries extra grub and booty;
Turned upside down it works just dandy
As a place for snacks or candy.
Even Bill the Pony likes it;
At the end of all their hikes it
Holds his grub and also water
(Washtubs can be used for fodder).

Scrub, scrub, scrub, and wash them dishes!
Mushrooms messed those plates, and fishes.
Rinse, rinse, rinse and make them spotfree,
Cups that held their morning coffee.

Keeping house is never pleasant
Dirt and grime is always present,
Even when no house is messy,
Cleaning up is always ne’ssry.
Necks must be scrubbed and then those faces
And all the other little places!

Scrub, scrub, scrub and wash them elbows
And those kneecaps, all you fellows.
Rinse, rinse, rinse, soap from your hair
Rinse the soap off, everywhere.

Humble object? Yes, I am,
And carried by the humble Sam.
He’s the cook and bottle washer
(Work never done by them who’s posher).
He wishes on this mountainside,
He’d find a great big box of Tide.

- Vison