Double Dactyls by  onónë


Index of this page:

Faramir
Fatty Bolger
Fatty Lumpkin
Frodo
Gandalf
Orcs
Pippin
The Ring
Sam's Pans
Samwisegirl
Saruman
Seven for Gimli
Treebeard
The Witch King
Wormtongue
Eomer and the Rohirrim
Two for Eowyn
Three for Boromir
Three for Merry

Faramir

Frown-upon, Down-upon
Denethor's youngest son
Keeping his promises
Taking the rap
Denethor thought him the
Weaker of his two sons
Uninspirational
Silly young sap!


Little Bro, Little bro
Faramir Steward's Son
The younger brother of
Dear Boromir
Brave and courageous his
Ideological
Verisimilitude
Makes him more dear


Wormtongue

Blabber-puss, blabber-puss
Wormtongue the Creepy One
Causing the mischief 'round
Theoden's throne
Dangerous and also
Slimy to be around
Semi-superfluous
Best left alone

The Witch King

Rider Black, Rider Black,
King of the Still-Undead
Evil, Deplorable
Who cannot die
Caught in the spell of an
Incomprehensible,
Phantasmagorical
Gift from the Eye 


Double dactyl about orcs
Why do I always pick these ugly topics? Sigh.

Uruk-hai, Uruk-hai
Massive Destructionists
Born in the chambers deep
Down in the earth
Inflicting misery
Uncatagorically
Super-maniacally --
Wait! That's a Smurf!

::giggles:: sorry! Couldn't resist that last line!

Treebeard:

Bru-rau-rum, Hu-rau-rum
Tree-herder Oldest Ent
Takes him a while to
make a retort
Thinks that my enterprise
Sesquipedalian
Multi-syllabic work
is much too short.

Saruman:

Wizard white, wizard blight
Saruman White-of-Hand
trying his hardest to
conquer the land
Making an army in
Caverns of Isengard
Megalomaniac
Needs a good tan.

Fatty Bolger

Stay behind, way behind
Fredegar Bolger-ite
Semi-superfluous
Somewhat rotund
Stayed in the Shire to
Act as a decoy, for
Extracurricular
Dangers he shunned

Fatty Lumpkin

Jolliest, Jolliest
Old Fatty Lumpkin Best
Happiest pony of
Tom Bombadil
Important party, but
Undemocratically
PJ dissented and
Highlighted Bill

Frodo

Hobbity, hobbity
Drogo's Son, Frodo Fair
Mission Impossible
He had to try
Steadfast and ethically
Deontological
More to this dear hobbit
than meets the eye.

Jiggery Pokery
Ringbearer of the Shire
Sensible Hobbit and
Ol’ Bilbo’s heir
Axiomatical
Respectability
Till Bilbo left him this
Old Ring to wear

Silliness Dilliness
Frodo/Elijah Wood
T.H.E.’s heartthrob and
Lithy-Q’s swoon
Quite a good actor and
Incontrovertibly
Rather good-looking, but
Can the boy croon?

Hobbity Dobbity
Frodo, the Ringbearer
Mercy he showed to one
Others despise
Marvelous at making
Sentimentality
If you dare doubt me, just
Look in Those Eyes!

Ring-a-ling Ding-a-ling
Frodo the Short and Sweet
Fed up with elf and dwarf
Games that they play
Ideological
Superiority
I’ll take the Ring, though I
Don’t know the way!

Hobbit-lad, Dobbit-lad
Frodo, Old Drogo’s Son
Nephew to Dear Bilbo
Hobbit most bold
Went on a quest at the
Same age as Bilbo did:
Quinquagenarian
Fifty years old

Pitiful Didiful
Frodo, the Blue of Eyes
Heart-rending character
Pathos provoked
Arousing females to
Sentimentality
Burden too heavy so
Seldom he joked

Fearfully dearfully
Dear Mr. Underhill
Started a song to tell
Pippin beware
Drawing attention was
Counterintuitive
A little stupid to
Leap in the air

The Ring
Ring-a-ling, Ding-a-ling
Precious Possession of
Sauron the Evil Eye,
Gollum's Amore.
Phantasmagorical
Defensibility:
Invisibility
Granted galore!

Sam's Pans
Bang-around, Clang-around
Samwise's Pots and Pans
Brought from the Shire with
Knives and a fork
Gastrointestinal
Paraphernalia
Awfully useful for
Whacking an Orc!

Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone.........
Seven Double Dactyls for Gimli:

Chop-a-lot, Drop-a-lot,
Gimli Dwarf, Gloin's Son
Axes, his weapons;
Remembers to breathe!
Unparalleled in Dwarf
Defensibility
Manners untidy: wipes
Mouth on his sleeve.

Smash-a-lot, Bash-a-lot
Gimli, the Elven Friend
Went on the mission for
Elves he won't trust
Incomprehensibly
Best friend to Legolas
Justapositional
Manners disgust.

Miner-ish, Diner-ish
Axe-wielder, Gloin's Son
Fiercely proud said no one
Tosses a dwarf!
False reputation of
Insensitivity
Good with an axe; looks a
Little like Worf.

Dwarrowdelf, Dwarrowdelf
Lock-bearer, Elven Friend
Part of the fellowship
"You have my axe."
Competes with Legolas
Incontrovertibly
Diligently counts the
Orcs that he whacks!

Miner deep, miner deep
Gimli, the Truest Dwarf
Caverns and caves are where
He'd like to live.
Paleontology's
One of his hobbies, but
Mithril is shiny and
More lucrative.

Jiggery Pokery
The Quintessential Dwarf
"Let's go to Moria" -
alters the course.
Later we find him more
Heroicomical:
"It was deliberate!" -
Falls off a horse.

Gandalf

Mithrandir, Mithrandir
Gandalf the Pilgrim Grey
Fell into darkness and
Shadow and flame
Prone to odd outbreaks of
Irascibility
Always the leader and
Never to blame


Pippin

Peregrine Peregrine
Pippin our Hobbit Lad
Innocent, naïve and
Young in the book
Antics bring on Gandalf's
Irascibility
Incontrovertible
Fool of a Took

and last, but not least....

Pony Prance, Pony Prance
Samwisegirl's Dearest Dwarf
Tales of his antics we
Dare not abridge
Axiomatical
Conviviality
Eats anything that we
Leave in the fridge

Double Dactyl for Eomer and the Rohirrim

Jiggery Pokery
Eomer’s Rohirim
Riding to battle and
Keeping the peace
Superiority
On horseback like the famed
Royal Canadian
Mounted Police

Two for Eowyn

Shieldmaiden Fieldmaiden
Eowyn Fair of Face
Constant attraction for
Grima the Slime
This creepy suitor's base
Sentimentality
Contrasts with Eowyn’s
Beauty sublime

Jiggery Pokery
Eowyn Eowyn
Eomer’s sister and
Faramir’s love
Uncerimonially
Pursued by Wormy-tongue
Then she and Theoden
Gave him the shove!


Three for Boromir

Rum-tity Tum-tity
Gondor’s own Bormir
Friend of the young hobbits,
Merry and Pip,
Nationalistically
Ideological
Not sure of why he’s
along on this trip.


Higgledy piggledy
Boromir, Steward’s Son
Skeptic of relics but
Says it’s still Sharpe.
Counterintuitive
Music-ability
Traded his heirloom horn
For a new harp


Jiggery Pokery
Boromir (Rest In Peace)
Sent off by friends in a
Paddle-less boat
Leaves me to wonder how
Incomprehensibly
With all his gear, how did
Boromir Float?

Three for Merry

Merrily, Merrily
Hero of Buckland, he’s
Mischievous Merry and
Loyal to Pip
Even though Merry was
Conspiratorial
He often wondered why
He’s on this trip.


Bucklander, Bucklander,
Merry, our Brandybuck
Master of herb-lore and
Lover of ‘shrooms.
Our hobbit lad’s full of
Sentimentality
For dear King Theoden
And Treebeard’s “Hrooms.”


Jiggery Pokery
Master of Brandybuck
Hobbit-ly dashing, he’s
Merriadoc
Carried about like some
Semi-superfluous
Baggage of someone, said,
“I’d rather walk!”