Wherefore Art Thou, Bilbo?

- Northstar

Bilbo Baggins is my name
Burgling dragons is my game
Recruited by a gang of dwarves
Floating caskets under wharves
Trading riddles with slimy things
Scooping up a golden Ring
I watched the battle of many Armies
Ducked out before I came to harmies
Took the ring back safely home
Decided I would no longer roam
Oh so I lied, I want to go!
Gave the Ring to cousin Fro
He’ll keep it secret, keep it safe
He won’t get chased by any Ringwraith!
Gandalf, don’t tell the boy such tales!
(at least the Nazgul don’t have scales)
I’m off to Rivendell to take a rest
And sing my songs at elves behest.