A Woman's Bitter Choice

- NorthStar

He is leaving me, my Estel
After all our long years together
A lifetime, perhaps more.
I dreaded this day for what seems like forever
Now, it has come.

This morning my love took me in his arms
As he has done time upon time
Looked at me so tenderly, laid his cheek upon mine
I felt it, in the beating of his heart
And silently inside, I wept for our loss.

So very long ago, my father, took me walking
Through the gardens and mists of Rivendell
He said to me then, "Daughter, beware of your heart
I fear it will only bring you to sorrow."
And indeed, it now has.

"You must make the choice, my Evenstar", he said
"Either a mortal woman be, or pass to the Havens
You cannot do both, love a man or be as we are
For us, it must be one or the other
And there is no turning back from the path that you choose."

In my soul, I knew the wisdom and truth of his words
But I allowed my heart to lead me this once only
Although for me it was not so much choice as destiny
From the moment I first laid eyes on my beloved
I knew that for me, there would be no other for all my immortal life and beyond.

These countless years, we have lived thus happily
Taking joy in our children, our friends and each other
Strengthening our kingdom, bringing peace to our lands
Living each day as though another day would never be.
Under blinding sun, and darkening sky, we have been as one.

Now, he is leaving this earth, leaving me
He has lived longer than a mortal man ever should
He would lend his reign now now, still strong, still vibrant
End his very life rather than fall feeble and old
Pass into legend, Gondor's fabled King Telcontar.

Alone, I am so alone
I cannot go to the West, yet I cannot remain here
Estel's ghost, it surrounds me, his love still so fierce,
I can hear his voice whisper, "Arwen, come to me"
My choice, never altered; I will go to him now.

Lorien, my sweet Lorien of the golden mallorn
Here I will rest under the rustling leaves
Listen to the sighs of the westerly wind
As it sweeps through a land now deserted and cold
I sleep, and I dream - Estel, once again I am your own.