Once there was a time,
A time now long ago,
When all I'd do was mine all day,
It was a great life, you know.
Finding gems and chipping stone,
Flexing muscle, sinew and all my bones.
We'd sing songs about gold,
And a little 'Hi ho, Hi ho'
If we would be so bold.
But the best thing of all,
Whether it was wrong or right,
Was that we were all the same height.
There was never such a thing,
Not a word nor a whisper,
About looking up to someone,
While we watched the diamonds glitter.
We were one of the same,
The sheep of a flock,
We knew each others names,
And we knew what made us tick...or tock.
But now in these days of disaster,
When naught is for certain,
What with that dark master,
And now here's me,
Caught in the middle,
Oh what a burden!
And when I look at my comrades,
Old Gandalf and Aragorn,
I think and wonder,
They must have weighed a ton when they were born!
All 6 foot this and 2 metres that,
I can get a couple of inches on them with this massive hat.
But, oh, if I were tall,
There'd be no orders for me,
I'd sit around and do nothing at all,
Just throwing out commands and waiting for my tea.
I wouldn't be pushed around by these bigs louts,
With all their swords and big boots,
And I wouldn't just look like a mouse,
Albeit one that wears a dwarfish suit.
I would call on my forces,
Send forth my charges,
Ride out on horses,
And lead my armies in marches.
But I suppose I'll have to make do,
With my three foot lot,
And just play my part in this crew,
And do my best for the plot.
But if I had my chance, the world I'd enthrall,
If I could be just 6 feet tall...