I lie in exhaustion, bruised and broken-hearted
There is no rest for me and I can no longer eat
Then from your lips comes " 'It's the job that's never started,'
My ol' Gaffer used to say, 'That takes longest to complete!'"
Words so wise fall from your lips
Your father is always near
On this, the worst of all field-trips
The backdrop is painted with fear
The things he said of you leave me riled
"Ninnyhammer", a name for you he'd often use
I wonder that you were not a poster child
For the stopping hobbit-fry abuse
One day we'll reach our destination
And then return home from the South
And when we see your ol' Gaffer
I'm gonna punch him in the mouth!