DarkElf Pathos

- Lothithil
This poem is out of chronology with our 1st Age poem/story of Morlothiel, but it is a taste of her thoughts as she wandered from Tol-en-Gaurhoth before she came to Gondolin and was named. At the time I wrote this, I had no idea where she was headed, so you could say we were both lost!

The ground here is broken, grown with thorn
Strewn with stones like discarded dreams
Catching my stumbling feet
My blade is clean, honed and keen
And rests but briefly in my hand
Never has the deed left me so bereft
The hunt has lost its joy
And yet in this land of moving shadows
Kill I must, for everywhere are foes
And they do not hesitate or question
Even in my confusion and dismay
I love life more dearly than ever
For in me lives a memory
Of light and music and love
I cannot let that vision be slain
To fade perhaps and come to nothing
I must find its source
If only to disprove the illusion

Westward my unruddered course takes me
Steering by the mocking stars
I climb whatever mountain or ravine bars my way
Overhead, an eagle circles the jagged peaks
Riders I have seen, fair and shining ones
But with shadowed hearts, oathbound to fate
I grow still when they pass, and they heed me not
Though the hound tastes my scent, he does not sound
Huan remembers me

Half of my mind longs for the endless caves of Doriath
And the healing touch of the queen
Nargothrond calls to me, for the chastisement
Of the faithless ones, forsaking my Lord to his lonely end
If I went there, I would no longer be the silent one
I would sing to them of their treachery
Of their weakness and baseness
In my anger I would cause much harm
And this would not bring him back
Or undo his death

Why can I not let it go?
Others I have known have ended
Yea, even loved, those ones I danced with
At the Waters, in the beginning of Days
Could I really find him if I went West?
He dwells there with with his father, they said
Is there a place in Valinor for a DarkElf?
To eclipse the light
Or make it seem brighter still