The Struggle

It begins so simply;
A small golden thing, beautiful,
But an evil will dwells in it.
Suddenly, the promise of hope fulfilled;
Salvation for his people, his city.
A weapon, a gift!  Let us use it against him!
A wish, a desire to use it for a noble purpose
And perhaps, deep within, a desire for personal glory.

Other wisdom says no, we cannot use it.
He submits to their will,
Though his understanding is incomplete.
Yet desire is born, and now grows undetected;
The evil in that tool has awakened.
The honorable one will become a tool in the end,
The good in him will be twisted.

Desire is forgotten, wisdom prevails;
Friendship blossoms,
The man becomes the protector of the innocent.
His purpose now only to return to the besieged city;
His hope now resting on the sword of a king,
And not on the weapon of the enemy.
And yet, that desire is working, slowly;
The Ring will not let him go.

The wheel is set in motion,
Desire sharp reasserts itself.
Such a little thing, to cause such fear and doubt!
He stretches out his hand,
And the key turns in the lock.
The seed is planted and will come to fruition,
It needs only time, and opportunity.
I care not, he says; but he does care.

He struggles; temptation is strong.
He does not yet realize what eats at him;
A darkness is growing in his heart.
He wants to believe there is another way,
But he cannot see it.
Brave warrior, honored by men,
Held up as an example before all;
Always before, his strength has been sufficient.
A task laid on him by his father, he wants to do it,
But time grows short, and hope diminishes.

Noble desire, twisted and used against him:
I only wish to help my people!
That perceived opportunity now about to be lost;
The weapon soon beyond his reach.
Please, do not take it away!
I can do this; let me test my plan!
Anger opens the door
And it cannot be shut again.

Tears and sorrow avail him not,
The relationship is changed; he cannot go back.
In the end, he sees, he understands,
When it is too late for him;
Though not too late to learn the lesson and seek forgiveness.
He pays the ultimate price for that slip,
That grasping to fulfull desire.

His yielding produces unexpected fruit,
The Ringbearer's resolve is strengthened;
All is not in vain.
In atoning, he fights honorably
And salvages his good name;
But temptation is a winner,
And the consequences are death
For the one who should have had life.

Am I like Boromir?
How often do I think in pride,
It is for a good cause, it cannot hurt me, I am strong.
In my  need and desire I reach out,
I grasp the thing...and I fall;
Rather than becoming fulfilled, better,
I am diminished!
Caught in a lie,
Caught in the trap.

It is a struggle, this never-ending wrestling!
May I be strong,
Yet not trust in my own strength!
May I not lose hope
Or fall into despair!

Oh, to be like Boromir in admitting my failure,
My lack of understanding, my weakness.
After the yielding, I cannot take it back;
But atonement made does much to heal the wound,
And forgiveness is there for the asking.

inspired by James 1:14-15

"But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged
away
and enticed.
Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when
it
is full-grown, gives birth to death." (NIV)

- Linaewen