I Know What I Must Do


So long ago, it seems,
I took the first steps on the road I now follow.
"What must I do?" I asked,
Willing to do what was necessary
To save my world.

Sometimes I regret that choice,
If only for a moment.
It was hard to say farewell
To the comfortable,
To the familiar.
But it was necessary,
And I am glad I chose to obey.

Except when the fear comes.
I know what I must do,
But I am afraid to do it.
My commitment does not waver,
But the fear is still there.
How can I do this?  Why me?
I am so small,
And the task is so big,
The burden so heavy!
I cannot do this alone.

But I am not alone.

Each step forward is fraught with fear:
Of the enemy, of the unknown;
Of loss, of pain.
But dismay at the thought of turning aside is greater.
Thoughts of myself are more easily put aside
When I think of the reason for my journey;
Thoughts of the goal strengthen me;
For others I will do this.
I am small, but I have been chosen.

I am not alone.

If I think too far ahead,
Then the fear comes;
If I think of how little time remains,
Then the fear comes;
But I cannot let it hold me back.
All I have to decide is what to do with the time that is given me.
I have been chosen,
I have made my decision;
My resolve is strengthened.
Though fear threatens to hold me back, I press on.

I am not alone,
And that is why I can go on,
In spite of the fear.

"...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily
entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for
us."
(Heb. 12:1)

- Linaewen