Bilbo Baggins was old, but looked not so, we're told,
Eleventy one it would seem,
But he was not content, no, he felt somewhat spent,
A bit stretched, if you know what I mean.
So he made up his mind an adventure to find,
To embark on one final long quest,
To see friends to the east, the elves at the least
In sweet Rivendell which he loved best.
Our dear Bilbo thus planned as our story began
To throw a fine birthday affair
With good food and prizes - and secret surprises -
The whole of the Shire would be there!
Lots of money was spent on food, goodies and tents,
As the day of the party drew near
Excitement was growing, Shire hobbits were hoping
Invitations would shortly appear.
Then all through the town up Bag End Row and down
Came strange people with wagons and fun,
While post offices sorted replies long and short -
"Thank you, I shall certainly come!"
On the morn of the day of the party they say
It dawned cloudy, tho' sun soon appeared.
Every spirit was high though time slowly dragged by
'Til the hour of the party drew near.
All Shire hobbits had come for some laughter and fun
And in this they were not disappointed;
The feast was spectacular, many came back
To the tables deep laden and vaunted.
There is nought to compare with a hobbit affair
For laughter and chatter and eating-
They do so many things, play tunes, dance and sing,
And take pleasure in all their friends meeting.
Bilbo gave lovely gifts, giving spirits a lift
To the children who gathered around him,
As he told many tales of his journey to Dale
And the dragon that could not confound him!
"Then the trolls tied us up as they planned how to sup
'Should we boil 'em or squash 'em to jelly?'
Clever Gandalf alone tricked the trolls into stone
Saving us from a fate in their bellies!"
Children laughed with delight at the delicious fright
Oh please Bilbo, please tell us some more!
But he had other plans so to Gandalf he ran -
A grand fireworks show was in store!
Then the sky came alive, with unfolding delights
Flights of rockets and sweet smelling flowers,
Butterflies flew, a red thunderstorm grew
Bringing bright yellow rain in sweet showers.
A forest of spears silvered down from the air
With the hiss of a hundred hot snakes,
When the dragon swooped low o'er the crowd down below
The hobbits fell flat on their faces!
When this fun at last ended, the last feast began
With treats rich and abundant and varied,
And after the feast (more or less) came the speech
That our Bilbo had long since prepared.
"Dear Frodo and I share a birthday today"
Cheers arose from all those gathered to see,
"I'm so pleased you all shared in my special day where
This will be the last time you will see me!"
At a big flash of light all the guests jumped in fright
To see Bilbo had totally vanished!
And I'm so sad to say that from then to this day,
Very few knew just how it was managed.
And from that day till this Bilbo's often been missed -
Speculations at pubs still run rampant
Indignant surprise soon gave way to surmise
And mad Baggins has now become legend!