The Ballad of Gandalf the Gray

- lilywillow

There are strange tales told of the wizard old
Who engaged on the quest of the ring
How he roamed the land with the trip he planned
To get rid of that dangerous thing.

But the true story is that old Gandalf the wiz
Was not quite as smart as they say
For toil as he might, he never got it quite right
Long as he was called Gandalf the Gray.

'My hobbit dear, that the ring was so near,
What a shock!' (he did not see Saur's plans.)
'You must go, let us see, to the Pony, at Bree
Where the landlord is one of my fans'

But Gandalf, poor he, never made it to Bree,
For Saruman used all of his power
He magicked really well, made a strong captive spell
To keep Gandalf on top of his tower.

The Gwaihir came along, luckily he was strong,
Carried Gandalf away on his back
Very long was their flight, they arrived late that night
To concoct a new plan of attack.

At Rivendall, then, they created a plan
With all Middle-Earth types in attendance
To send the ring far to the land of Mordor
And the Mountain of Doom to ascendance!

A group of assorted denizens then reported
To the council of Elrond they say,
And the comp'ny departed, the trek really started
With Gandalf aleading the way.

The adventures they had, some were good, most were bad,
On their way to dispose of the ring,
On Caradhras they froze from the nose to the toes
At Moria they 'scaped a big thing.

But the gang had some trouble amid all the rubble
And skeletons, bones and then orcs.
The cave troll they defeated before they retreated
And ran through Moria like dorks!

At Moria, although Gandalf tooed and he froed,
With the Balrog, who lashed with his whip-
Caught Gandalf round the knees without ever a please
"Fly you fools" was the best G could quip.

Well that was the end of our wizardy friend,
The incompetent Gandalf the Grey,
The fellowship cried, they had no sense of pride
To Lothlorien they all ran way.

So when we hear tales naming heroes who failed
That of Gandalf the Gray comes to light.
Mind, the quest of the ring is a different thing
If we're talking of Gandalf the White!