Limerick Duels by the Fans...1

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contents of this page:
Auntkimby vs. Lothithil
pi vs. Linaewen
pi encourages everyone
A spate of limericks on the "new" boards collected by Old Toby

It started, innocently enough in ME...

Auntkimby35 030503 Middle-earth MB
It seems we engendered some forays
On the question of moving the stor-ays
Away from this board,
But 'no's the last word
And I've taken the Elf name Artuntaure!
Okay, that was really sad. I'm going back to the Pony now...

I warned you about the limricks..(txt) ... Lothithil ... 03.05-13:42

now I have to do one, too! (I'm such a Follower)

There once was an Elf with a short fuse
Who only could speak in haikus
Debates made her see 'red'
"I'm not listening!" she said,
"I'll post any inkling I choose!"

*pant, pant* (((auntie)))

Auntkimby's response:

Auntkimby's chin drags the ground
As she mourns over the poem called 'found'
But with help from Kay and Dandy
She just might get it handy
And I'll take you to the Pony for a round!
Loth's rebuttal:
An Elven maid in Kansas
Sez "We must play the cards Fate hands us
At he Pony I'll be,
In one hour, plus three
And we'll hang there 'til the 'mod' cans us"
(fall to the floor in a faint from effort)
Auntkimby(waves her hand neglegently)

Said Elven maid from Pennsylvania
Said, "Kansas maid, hate to pain ya
But in hour plus five
You'll take a dive
And I'll get my book to learn Quenya!
(Hope that last word rhymed right)
Loth comes back with:

If you answer the challenge of this Elf
Take the thinking cap off of the shelf!
With the 'mod's permission
I will seek your submission
(and hope I don't injure myself!)
see you at PP in 5 hours! Loth

The scene: The Prancing Pony:

'kay! (cracks knuckles_ ... auntkimby35 ... 03.05-21:09
I'm ready to go! I think!
This petite ELF is pleased to announce
Her limericks Loth shall not trounce!
She arrived a bit late,
So let's not wait,
In for a pound, in for an ounce!

To the Fire he did Frodo persue
And a struggle there Smeagol did rue
        "My precious!" he did bray,
        And I guess you could say
Gollum bit off more than he could chew!

Into the Palantir he did peek
which resulted in a girllike shriek
"What have you done?
Do you think this is fun?
Why must you be such a sneak?"

A Hobbit there once was, quite daring
For all Middle-earth he was caring
        Into Darkness he went
        To his lasting torment
While Sauron chased Gandalf's 'red herring'


His master attempted to leave
And this his dear heart did grieve
He rushed into the drink
and very nearly did sink
But Frodo grabbed hold of his sleeve

(smiles impishly and hands the pen over)

There once was a man (big, not little)
To Imladris he came with a riddle
        For the Ring he did pine
        "It should have been mine!"
But instead,  got three darts in his middle!

She attacked with bite like fire
And Frodo's situation was dire
But Samwise attacked
With Sting she was whacked
And the spider is now the dier.

(Okay, this is getting desperate, hands back pen)

An Elf-lord who's daughter did pant
Over a wandering human vagrant
        "I would not object,"
        He said, with respect
"If only he wasn't so fragrant!"

He is the hobbit named Merry
And he is a fine hobbit-very!
His best friend is a Took
And if you don't look
He'll try to push you off the ferry!

To Mt Doom our heros did race
And Smeagol played out his last ace
"Don't be too solemn
Forget about Gollum
And let us get out of this place!
And here's our dear friend Frodo
Who has to leave at the end-oh no!
But don't worry, dear friend
His soul is on the mend
And for his courage our love we do show.

(Gotta quit soon, really, it's getting late)

Oh, to issue a challenge.. and then lose!
I have been abandoned by my Muse!
        *Teeth reluctantly grit*
        "To thee I submit"
Says Loth, and starts eating her elf-shoes

Dear Loth, you are such a good spirit
And all these dear folks do cheer it
Let me give you a hug
You're cute as a bug
And I hope everyone does hear it!

BIG HUG!!!!! Good night!!!

November 10, 2003:  pi  vs. Linaewen

I once heard of Shelob the spider.
Was little Miss Muffet beside her?
I ask ‘cause if she
Always wanted to be,
Shelob certainly then would have tried her!!

- pi

There would be no chance of survival,
And definitely none of revival;
Miss Muffet's no more,
And Shelob wants more,
For her large appetite knows no rival!
- Linaewen
No food quenches her thirst,
Merely sates her desire at first
Then she always wants more,
Sting's ***** is in store,
She should watch out or she’ll get the worst!!
- pi

She thought she'd have hobbit for dinner,
Instead, looks like she'll soon be thinner.
For Sam spoiled her meal;
His sword made her feel
Quite unwell! Think she'll pass on more dinner.
- Linaewen

Shelob’s a hard subject to brooch,
For she is so hard to coach,
Regardless of teaching
She’ll still come a-reaching
Eating even the biggest cockroach!!

(yum, tasty)
- pi

It is best not to sit with a spider
Or you just might end up down inside her.
She's not very picky
'Bout food that is icky;
Let the roaches go sit down beside her!
- Linaewen
If you’d rather work than play now,
Then life must be boring – and how,
But if pulling a plow,
Is fun, then somehow
Your probably in front of the cow!

Middle-earth’s a hard place to find,
Turns out it’s all in my mind,
Not counting New Zealand
For ROTK I’m a reeling,
But having to wait I’m resigned.

I'll admit doing work is a bore,
And cleaning my house is a chore;
But if I don't get it done,
Then I can't have my fun
Writing inklings, lim'ricks and more.

I've already spent much of my time
In making up spidery rhyme,
But I'm glad we could meet
And enjoy this rare treat!
Let us do it again sometime.
I'm also at work - such a sorrow,
Then it's homeward bound til the morrow,
You see, the boss is a jerk
Yet for money I work,
But it's here I'll be, come tomorrow!!

December 31, 2003 - pi invites everyone to respond

As Middle-earth limericks abound
With lord of the rings sights and sounds
look to the new year
With hope and good cheer
For more of them to come around!

It’s come to the end of the year
A new one is ever so near
So let it be known
You reap what you’ve sown
So plant seeds of kindness and cheer!
- pi
With Return of the King here at last
I look back with a sigh at the past
My Precious is gone
What shall come with the Dawn?
To these memories I hold strong and fast!

There will be the EE-DVD!
More wonderful scenes there to see!
More Gandalf the Wise
(And a wizard's demise)
I await it's release with such glee!
- Old Toby
A limerick challenge is here,
And I cannot ignore it, I fear;
Without further ado
I'll attempt something "new"
With a limerick for dear Boromir.

For some, Boromir is "old hat",
But he's inspiring, you must give him that.
I know it's been said
"But I thought he was dead!"
Dead or not, he's my man, and that's flat!
- Linaewen
Does this mark the end of an Age?
No more film talk or rehash of a page?
Have we come to the end
With good-bye to a friend
No more battles with evil to wage?

Never fear my devoted Ringer
For the love of our Hobbits will linger.
JRR's books remain true
DVDs long-lived too
Of this new song we are the singer.

A new Age has now just begun
Where OUR tales now will be spun.
We'll tell of our days
And the part LOTR plays
This story will never be done.

So now is the time to unite.
Meet others and speak with delight
Of our love of the themes
Their impact on our dreams
And this fellowship forged ever tight.
- seansbeanie
i'm sad to leave middle earth
where hobbits laugh in mirth
where the king has been crowned
and peace now abounds
in a place called minas tirith

its been a wild ride for three years
the end is bringing us to tears
but our friendships remain
(so we wont go insane)
thinking about next years premieres
(non lotr of course ::sniffle::)
The days have gone down in the West.
Soon our board will be put to the test.
Will the threads seen here wither
As we come no more hither?
The thought of it makes me depressed!


The words of Tolkien are deep pools,
An endless supply of rare jewels.
Let's continue to mine
Though the world may malign
In our hearts we know sure we're no fools!
- Eilenach
Some comfort I'll try to extend,
For I do not believe we will spend
Future days with no home;
It is here we will come.
No withering in sight here, my friend!
- Linaewen
In Middle earth, I have found myself
There is no other home for this Elf
This writer will write
Even with no readers in sight
Until I fill up my virtual bookshelf!
- Lothithil
My bookshelves, virtual or real
Are filling and filling with zeal!
They both overflow
With names that we know
A-writing about how they feel.

The scrapbook, someday it will slow
But memories kept there will grow
E'en sweeter with time,
For the days we would rhyme
And adore with our prose dear Frodo.
- Primula
The end of all things thus draws near
We sigh, "It is over, I fear."
But not all shall end,
I've made awesome friends;
They will grow in my heart still more dear.

But why should it end anyway?
There will still be ME moments each day.
Memories and quotes
Will keep us afloat --
LotR isn't going away!
- onónë
All good things do come to an end
All boats someday float 'round the bend
But from this long season
There's really no reason
To float off without first hitting "send!"

Three years some of us have been here;
Sharing many a joy and a tear.
As broken fellowship,
Some will fade, some will slip,
Some together will always stay near.
- Primula
Good friends we have found on the boards
where we talk of rings and orc hoards,
Not sure where we'll meet next,
But don't be perplexed --
We'll still swoon for our favorite elf lords!
- onónë
In this strange blue & white land online
We've laughed and we swooned, sobbed & sighed,
In spite of no graphics
Or emoticons, traffic's
Stayed pretty darn strong, which is fine!
- Primula


There once were some posters quite silly
Who wanted to post willie nilly
But the boards were updated
And more understated
But soon we'll be posting some dillies!

There once was a message board dear
Then it changed and we shed many a tear
But we'll give it a try
And see if by and by
We don't find ourselves right at home here.

Lothithil is going insane,
but she's not all alone in her pain,
Insanity lingers
around all us Ringers
And that's what makes us right as rain!

When we are here, we are the norm
Together we'll weather the storm
Our feet may be hairy
and goo effects tarry
But all of a sudden I can't rhyme "storm"
(Something about the side-effects of goo?)

Now Mod's aren't the only ones green
We see it all over the screen
But before you say "shoot"
We're not getting the boot
We've just all got new feathers to preen

Old habbits do die hard, it seems
We'll see the old boards in our dreams
The new ones are gray
and don't go away
But they might not bust out at the seams!

Limericks, Karaoke and goo
Are here, though our home is so new
We see the old faces
Though now in new places
And with funky avitars, too!

Dinledhwen waves a flag of surrender
But the poems must not ever end here
So the challenge goes out
to both faint and stout
Who will be the next limerick contender???

A Mouse and a DarkElf mysterious
Decided to write limericks imperious
And when they were done
The fun had just begun
And the Pony Patrons were quite delirious!

There once was an inn old and worn
whose patrons were very forlorn
When it got a facelift
like an unwanted gift
Which left them tearful and torn

But the new inn is starting to be
a little more cheerful and comfy
so don't all dispair
Ol' Strider's chair
Is back just where it ought to be!

The blue day has yet to be seen
Because I can't stop limericking
And I'd rather write
so that in the right light
My postings will all appear green!

Goo is a slimy ol' thing
In hair it is quite disgusting
But don't be surprised
If before your eyes
Goo blobs turn into pudding!


New message boards made us all howl
Some wanted to throw in the towel
It will take us a while
But we'll learn the new style
And be happy as orcs on the prowl

Dr. Gamgee

For the posters who've not been here long,
these new boards may seem totally wrong.
But our antiques recall,
when the last change did fall,
and the 'one board' became such a throng!


To me the new bords are nice
like that of a brand new spice
but the message board old
is better liked i am told
but i would have to think twice

In the pony in the hours of dark
Some targets now take their mark
Now look behind you
Or goo may find you
Or take a shot in the dark

yes we have a thing with the goo
toss it at people we do
but don't you dare pout
if you do, should watch out
or your way will sail some too.


When all of us find a place here
We'll fill it with gladness and cheer
And limericks that rhyme
At least most of the time
Keeping this place from being drear-y


May my sickness never be cured
And insanity patiently endured
By the Fellowship here
All of whom I hold dear
After this lymrick is heard!

In truth, it is easy to appear
As normal in a group of your peers
When everyone here
Is wearing pointed ears and hobbit-hair
Without fear of hearing any jeers!

Out of habit, I find myself clicking
On the shortcuts that I used to be picking
Lonely 'boards all in blue
I have come to miss you
In my heart you will always be sticking!

A Lymrick is a strange little poem
Written most often by Gnomes
There is a structure, I hear
To which I don't often adhere
Which causes the real poets to foam!

Nutmeg is tasty on custard
Bologne is tasty with mustard
I hope it's not rude
To metaphor with food
I'm stalling until my come-back is mustered!

What madness is this I preceive?
Compliments I don't expect to receive
For my erroneous prose
The Muse only knows
What I have hidden next up my sleeve!

Din, you may regard your lymricks as runny
But I think you've got a knack for them, honey
It's not as easy as it seems
To come up with these things
And you're giving me a run for my money!

"Tis-tosh!" exclaims DarkElf with a wave
"I am merely a scribbler... a hacking knave
I am lucky enough to abide
Where the truly brilliant ones reside
So I can read all the fan-fic I crave!"

Lothithil rolls up her sleeve
"I'll take on any you please!
Constructing a rhyme
Does eat up the time
At work; now it is time to leave!"

Tho I may be strange and curious
Some things I take quite serious
Humour must be seeded
Here laughter is needed
As I grope for rhyming words furious!

Lymicks are contageous, it's true
And highly addictive to you
But once it's been caught
To deny it is naught
If you don't write them, you may turn blue!

I am mentally spinning my top
And using my thesarus as a prop
To keep up with all those
Enjoyable prose
I hope that the fun never stops!

Goo-flinging is a true Pony sport
Best performed amid wild cavort
No greeting more fair
Than green sludge in the hair
Of Fellowshipmallows we never run short!

There was an Elf sat in the dark
Who went Adventuring once on a lark
She met some rough fellows
Who liked Fellowshipmallows
Now she's picking a fight with a Tark!

There once was a Hobbit so Brave
Who seemed to Lymricks crave
Morning noon and night
With rhyme and meter I fight
While s/he spills them out easily, the knave!


The NOGS we come out at night
green food on the table 'tis a sight!
Asparagus please,
guacamole, and green peas
Hey, this new board might be just right!

Pistachios, green cabbage, and more,
Green Goo all over the floor,
Green eggs and Green Ham,
green apples for Sam,
Look! They're lining up way out the door!!

Nevermind Evermind to green food is new
It seems she knows just what to do
"Make mine green,
I'm a Mean Green Machine!"
Down the bar, to her, Green Goo flew!!

Lothithil says, "I cannot rhyme -
Not me! Not even one time!"
Then out comes the pen
She's at it - and then...
Her limerick works out just fine!

Baloney without any cheese
Is like a kiss without the squeeze
Yet Dinledhwen expects
To get some respect
For sneaking a limerick - oh please!


Some NOGs in a bit of a stew,
found they liked old boards better than new,
But some fellowshipmellows,
And lots of green jellos,
Soon made them as happy as you!!!!


There once was some flakey software
That refused more avatars to share
Prim tried to make more-er
But to her great horror
It reboots her computer - beware!

Rider of the Rohirrim

Many a laugh we have had
And no one has ever gotten mad
with plenty of friends
the fun never ends
Now we are moveing just a tad


I quietly enter the Pony
Hoping this limerick doesn't sound corny
But I love the décor
And the non-stop rapport
Plus the generous amount of baloney.

I quietly enter the Pony
But this time I bring macaroni
Or if you prefer
And I will defer
If your liking is more for pepperoni.

I thought I would take the time now
To thank you with a big WOW!
For you far surpass
This elven lass
When it comes to writing know-how!

I thought my whispering was done here
But I soon discovered with fear
That I couldn't simply stop
For then I might POP!
If I don't write another limerick OH DEAR!!


THere was once a mouse under a chair
who warned all newbies "beware
I am not lying
it is rather trying
to get green goo out of your hair!"

Old Toby

Although moving was not of our choosing,
and I still find these new boards confusing,
I find that old friends
are still here in the end,
which comforts my mind, which I'm losing!


They destroyed the ring and dark lord,
then afterwards found themselves bored.
Then stumbled, they did,
upon an inn hid,
and now with glee post on the board!

The staff of Gandalf did shine,
when in the Moria mine.
It shone off the walls,
and lit up the halls,
and lit the way for the Nine.

"You shall not pass!" Gandalf cried,
with sword and staff at his side...
Gandalf engaged
the Balrog-enraged
and smote his ruinous hide.

From the light of the Trees Feanor made
jewels of beauty whose light cannot fade.
Then try, Morgoth did
to have the jewels hid...
Now Earendil's star shines on the glade.

In the sky Vingilot sails at night
where Earendil's light shines so bright...
It sails there so high,
across the night sky,
inspiring all with its majestic sight...

Mithrandir came to rekindle hope;
stoked fires in men's hearts so they'd cope
from the doom, gloom, and fear
Sauron made all to hear,
as they came to the end of their rope...
Cirdan the shipwright so wise,
could see well the Istaris' eyes;
to Grey One of old
was Narya bestowed,
for hope would be needed from lies.