Limericks for Bilbo

There and back again went our dear Bilbo
What he did on his journey we all know
Though great wisdom he earned
One thing he never learned
“Where in Heaven’s name did my spoons go?”
- Avondster

A long knife Bilbo did bring
It shone like the sun in the spring
He bade Frodo wear it to war
Though by the end Frodo swore
That as with death, he'd had enough of this Sting.

There once was a hobbit so small,
He seemed to be nothing at all,
"There's more than you guess,
about this one, I 'fess,"
Said the wizard, "I'll here make my call."

There once was a bright shiny door,
As green as the garden and more,
But a wiz made a dent,
And adventure he lent,
When he led 13 Dwarves 'cross the floor.
 - Primula

There once was a round bellied Hobbit
Who sought out a dragon to rob it.
Some dwarves came along
There was many a song
And everyone turned a good profit.

Big spiders in dark woods are scary
But not if your feet are quite hairy
Just lob a few stones
To break a few bones
Those big spiders better be wary.

He rolled down to a deep cavern where
He nearly gave way to despair
What a curious thing,
He found a gold Ring
What a great way to get out of there!

Ole Smaug had a horrible stench.
That no bit of air-freshner could quench.
Bilbo drove him out
The lake town gave a shout.
Then Smaug the lake water did drench

A mountain of gold for the taking
And gold lust in dwarven hearts waking.
Bilbo set them straight,
The Arkenstone he did take
And that set Thorin's beard to shaking.
 - Anna Estel

Baggins the hobbity sneak
pretends to be little and meek.
nasty riddles he told
stole our nice ring of gold
if we catch him we will make him squeek!
 - Mousechief

There once were three trolls by a fire,
Who caught a small thing from the Shire -
"Wot's this?" they so wondered,
Then found that they'd blundered
By stirring a grey wizard's ire!

There once as a Dwarf, name of Dori,
An integral part of the story.
For onto his back,
And his legs as they flapp'd
He hefted Bilbo more and mori.

There once was a lonely small sword,
That sat, gath'ring dust in a hoard,
Til one day it was lifted
By a small hand so gifted,
And to great events then went to-ward!
- Primula

A brave fellow, shorter than most
armed with sting and dwarf host
fighting army of goblins
sending them a-hobblin',
after nearly becoming dragon toast!!
- pi

There was no one more startled then he
when a large group of dwarves came to tea.
He heard all their story
of dragons and glory
then wondered, what was his fee?
- Mousechief

 There once was an auctioneer's tune
Singing out as he auctioned some spoons,
Then a gasp there was heard
As around spread the word
That the owner'd returned none to soon.
- Primula

I'm an Irish girl through and through,
And we often talk in limericks, it's true
Even if they're so bad
They make real mad
Until your face turns bright blue

But for Bilbo I must have my say
Especially on Bilbo day,
He stole from the dragon,
Came home with a gold-filled-wagon,
And since then has had adventures away!
- Gimli's Goat

Bilbo steals from Smeagol the Ring
Smeagol makes a vow to retrieve the Thing
When Bilbo puts the Ring on
Smeagol can't see where he gone
But Bilbo doesn't make use of Sting./
- Gandalf_921

There once were some fir-trees a-fire,
For the 'birds' in the trees fleeing ire
Had found themselves trapp'd
Hiding place: *sizzle-snap!*
Til' an Eagle-lift took them up higher.

There once was a hobbit poetic,
Regarded as cracked-up aesthetic,
He wrote and he dream'd
An entire book it seem'd,
About many adventures frenetic.

A-walking went two Baggins packin'
Their knapsacks no adventures lackin'
"Old Bilbo's odd, true,
But now there are two!
'Cause he's crack'd and young Frodo is crackin'!"

A hobbit named Bilbo was he
who traveled with Dwarves just to see
if there be dragon's gold
as was told of in old
'cause burglars don't burgle for free.

Bilbo by a dark lake once riddled,
With a creature who whined, and who snivelled;
But his pocked did keep
A prize not to be beat -
So with golden trinket he skediddled!

There once was a bear-man, Beorn,
Who was happiest lonesome forlorn,
But he found himself host
To a gaggle (at most)
Of hobbit and Dwarves one bright morn.

Now Beorn was a grouchy old host,
But his honey was better than most,
So it was his luck
That with guests he was stuck
For like bees, it's his table they knowst.

A hobbit to lakeshore once touched,
And with Dwarves he was welcomed and such,
But when called for a speech,
At a Lakeshoreman's feast,
All he said was "Thag you very buch!"
- Primula

Along came a dragon named Smaug
Who flamed every tree, branch and log
Dwarves ran in fright
Birds talked outright
And a burglar emerged from the fog.
- Agape4Rivendell

Smaug really is misunderstood,
A dragon just cannot do good
No matter how hard he tries,
It all ends in cries,
When he catches fat dwarves for his pud!
- Evermind

It's not just that dragons are greedy,
No! For gold and bright jewels they're quite needy:
On a horde in the Deep's
The only way they can sleep.
So let napping dragons lie - that's my creed-y!
- Daughter of Kings

And elderly hobbit who wrote,
Was convinced to climb into a boat,
But his ponderous weight
Soon proved far too much freight...
"I told you that hobbits can't float!"
- Primula