Stars and Seven Stones and one Soy Latte!
- Doctor Gamgee
"Earl Grey? Earl Grey?!? Who the blankity-blank you think I am? Patrick
What with all these circular walls, did you know how far I had
to walk to get to the only corner in Minas Tirith? - Bluebell
"No, no, it is only in Rohan that they extend
the pinky finger while quaffing their hot brews. Here in Minas Tirith
it is the long-established tradition of the Men descended from Numenor
to delicately hold their cups between thumb and forefinger thus, or so
I have found in the library tomes. Much more refined, don't you
"I'm sorry, Pippin! You KNOW I cannot save
Minas Tirith from Sauron's army and stop Denethor from buring Faramir
alive until I've had my morning coffee!! Now, get me a honey bun and be
quick about it!" - Frodosmiss
What? ...it is tea time...at least in decent places.... - Overlithe
A Wizard is never late. Especially when
he brings your coffee. - Samsmissy
... it ALL seems a bit blurred ... but
I'll give it a shot.
I think the first row is ... E-E ... 3-3 ... B-B
Shagrat! I think your date is here!
Mordor Avon calling!
Did someone here order a pizza with extra flies??
Candy gram! - Frodosmiss
Tag! You're it! - Lindorie
"I'm ready for my close up, Mr DeMille" - Doctor Gamgee
Now, look into my eyes...you are feeling
very creepy...er...I mean SLEEPY....
PJ to cameraman...."We might want to
rethink that closeup..." - Frodosmiss
"Come on Legolas... Give us a big kiss!"
You should have seen the before pictures...
- Yaviel of Lorien
"I Spy, with my little eyes..." -
Daughter of Kings
Looking for cheap sunglasses,
please... It's because of that awful bottled light, you know?! - Veline
Hi! I'm your server tonight. Can I take
your order? - Traevynn
"I don't have much of an appetite right now ... thanks .... " - gentle-giant)
You'd be a little grumpy, too if you
just paid 1,000 quid for a waxing! -
Hey anyone seen my reading glasses? - Lady of Light
"Oh man! Not again! Ewww! Helob! Get the
insecticide! We've got hobbits in the cave again!!" - Frodosmiss
"Well THAT explains the requisition from makeup for a weed trimmer!" - Doctor Gamgee
Aragorn and Arwen were both suprised to
that Frodo wasn't a hobbit but an enting!
"Look! Lex Luthien must have been here. Kryptonite!" - Evelyn
spinach and like it! - Lithilien Quicksilver
"Do you want to come on our quest Arwen? This green leaf
that Thranduil sent doesn't look like he will contribute very much" - Eärrámë
Aragorn (mumbling to self): Why can't he
out here and pick his own herbs....should'a left early this morning
while I still had the chance......
Arwen: Look, stop mumbling, and let's just find "the perfect basil" for
Daddy's marinara sauce before he has a fit. - bregotamer
It's much worse than I originally thought Arwen!
Arwen: Oh no! What else is
plaguing this poor hobbit?
Aragorn: Dutch Elm Disease and
from the look of this leaf a very advance case of it too!
"In the case of exposure to Black
Morgul poison or other plagues from Mordor, please consult with your
primary caregiver before taking, as extreme side effects may occur,
including, but not limited to hallucinations, blurred vision, auditory
disturbances and narcolepsy." - Fíriel
Arwen, whispers to Aragorn: I TOLD you
put extra garlic on your Lembas! Your breath has knocked the poor
little fella out!
Aragorn, to Frodo: Speak to me, Frodo! Don't let go! I 'll eat this
fresh mint and all will be better! Can you hear me, Frodo?
Frodo, to himself: One leaf ain't enough to bring me back, my
friend.... - Frodosmiss
Arwen: Aragorn! Didn't I tell you that
we need a sterile environment
to work in?! You call this
sterile? Mud, and unwashed hands after you uh...nevermind. Oh, and
Arwen: Yeah, umm...er...I mean that we're trying to...uh...stop that
from...uh...happening. Which is why you need to follow my
instructions!!!! - gustaf
If you don't eat this
medicine like a good little halfling, Arwen here will plug your nose
and force your mouth open.
Don't make me have to force you, Frodo, TAKE the medicine. - bregotamer
The epic battle between Saruman and Tinkerbell was remembered for
generations to come.
When wizards play
the hokey pokey: "You put your
staff in... you put your staff out... you put your staff in and you
shake it all about....." - onónë
*sigh* ...there goes yet another patient
only made it as far as my waiting room. I can't believe I thought I
could make a living as a proctologist. - Eärrámë
Waving his magical staff to take out the
trash, Saruman accidentally turns his entire tower into Hefty Bags. - Primula
This "Spider-catcher-for-wimps" was certainly worth the dosh! - Sylvania
"Ah! So there's
the on switch!" - Primula
.. and then I reeled 'er right inta tha
And THAT's how you catch a 70 pound marlin when you think it's
swallowed your ring! - Icarus
Holding up his
light, Saruman was horrified to discover his entire throne-room was
overrun with mildew. - Evelyn
Has anyone seen my big shiny ball? I seem
to have mislaid it.- Daisy Gold
two good reasons never to hire a wizard as an
1) black, black, black and more black. Hasn't he heard of beige?
2) tiny, insignificant light sources... mostly hand-held... makes
reading awkward... not to mention entertaining. - onónë
Saruman really wished his new egg-cooker would
quit making them radioactive. - Bergil
As seen on TV...or Palantir: This
new tool makes changing light bulbs easier than ever before...,
Just $29.95 and you can make changing those hard to reach ceiling bulbs
easier than ever. Act now and we'll include........ - Lindorie
Saruman never could get the knack of
marshmallows. Even with a fire big enough to char the whole throne
room, the marshmallow remained untouched. - onónë
Now that I've changed the lightbulb in my special, one of a kind mind
control remote, we can finally rule the world!
Gonzo (as Charles Dickens) narrates:
"And lo, it is dusk and the lamplighters are plying their trade"
Yikes, this Radon detector is going
CRAZY!!! - Doctor Gamgee