Captions 8

Taken from the ongoing captioning game from the messageboards,  All images are property of New Line, etc. etc.
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Arwen and Elrond hold hands  in Rivendell

"One potato, two potato...." 
- Firiel

Elrond: Arwen you really must start using that moisturizer I gave you, your cuticles are drying out!! - AnnaEstel

Elrond: "Now darling, I know you're used to throwing yourself at the first avaliable man you see, but since the last one died of a heart attack I've been forced to show you how normal people say hello. This is called 'shaking their hand.' It may look like a hard art to master, but i'm confident we'll get away with fewer fatalities this time..." - Laiquendi

NARRATIVE: Totally disregarding his repeated pleas, Arwen adamantly refused to arise from the bed while teaching Elrond the "Rivendell Two-Step" ... further qualifying that she wasn't ABOUT do so until he stopped stepping on her toes with his knees .... - gentle-giant

Egads! Your fate must be tied to the Ring; it didn't have any pulse either! - Evelyn

Elrond thinks **This thanksgiving I am thankful that next year my daughter's Husband can carve the turkey for 3 thousand guests!**
Says: I am happy that my little girl has found a man who can afford her thirteen dresses a day shopping habit. - Doctor Gamgee

Okay, Arwen, let's try this one more time. Clasp your hands together like's the church....take your index fingers and put them up like's the steeple....move your thumbs the wiggle your fingers....and see all the people!   - Frodosmiss

"I see a tall, dark-haired man in your future." - Traevynn
( ....and I believe he is in need of some shampoo. ) - Frodosmiss

Liv stumbles over her line....realizing that Hugo has smeared her notes off her palm. - Overlithe

Elrond: "Arwen~ that's not how it's done. You're supposed to clap my hands with your hands, not clasp my hands with your hands, while playing patty cake! Let's try it again...." - Frodosmiss

*Gasp* You have dishpan hands!  - Primula

Gandalf with coffee cup in Minas Tirith

Minas Tirith: Seven Stars and Seven Stones and one Soy Latte!
- Doctor Gamgee

"Earl Grey? Earl Grey?!? Who the blankity-blank you think I am? Patrick Stewart?" - gentle-giant

What with all these circular walls, did you know how far I had to walk to get to the only corner in Minas Tirith? - Bluebell

  "No, no, it is only in Rohan that they extend the pinky finger while quaffing their hot brews. Here in Minas Tirith it is the long-established tradition of the Men descended from Numenor to delicately hold their cups between thumb and forefinger thus, or so I have found in the library tomes. Much more refined, don't you agree?"  - Primula

"I'm sorry, Pippin! You KNOW I cannot save Minas Tirith from Sauron's army and stop Denethor from buring Faramir alive until I've had my morning coffee!! Now, get me a honey bun and be quick about it!" - Frodosmiss

What? is tea least in decent places.... - Overlithe

A Wizard is never late. Especially when he brings your coffee. - Samsmissy

Shelob's face

"Well ... it ALL seems a bit blurred ... but I'll give it a shot.
I think the first row is ... E-E ... 3-3 ... B-B ... ???"

- gentle-giant

**Ding Dong!!**
Shagrat! I think your date is here!

**Ding Dong!!**
Mordor Avon calling!

**Ding Dong!!**
Did someone here order a pizza with extra flies??

**Ding Dong!!**
Candy gram!  - Frodosmiss

Tag! You're it! - Lindorie

"I'm ready for my close up, Mr DeMille" - Doctor Gamgee

Now, look into my are feeling very mean SLEEPY....

PJ to cameraman...."We might want to rethink that closeup..."  - Frodosmiss

"Come on Legolas... Give us a big kiss!" - Laiquendi

You should have seen the before pictures...  - Yaviel of Lorien

"I Spy, with my little eyes..." - Daughter of Kings

Looking for cheap sunglasses, please... It's because of that awful bottled light, you know?! - Veline

Hi! I'm your server tonight. Can I take your order? - Traevynn
"I don't have much of an appetite right now ... thanks .... " - gentle-giant)

You'd be a little grumpy, too if you just paid 1,000 quid for a waxing! - Lindorie

Hey anyone seen my reading glasses? - Lady of Light

"Oh man! Not again! Ewww! Helob! Get the insecticide! We've got hobbits in the cave again!!" - Frodosmiss

(PJ says)
"Well THAT explains the requisition from makeup for a weed trimmer!" - Doctor Gamgee

Aragorn & Arwen give athelas to Frodo

Aragorn and Arwen were both suprised to learn
that Frodo wasn't a hobbit but an enting!

- Dinledhwen

"Look! Lex Luthien must have been here. Kryptonite!" - Evelyn

You will eat your spinach and like it!  - Lithilien Quicksilver

"Do you want to come on our quest Arwen? This green leaf that Thranduil sent doesn't look like he will contribute very much" - Eärrámë

Aragorn (mumbling to self): Why can't he come out here and pick his own herbs....should'a left early this morning while I still had the chance......
Arwen: Look, stop mumbling, and let's just find "the perfect basil" for Daddy's marinara sauce before he has a fit. - bregotamer

Aragorn: It's much worse than I originally thought Arwen!
Arwen: Oh no! What else is plaguing this poor hobbit?
Aragorn: Dutch Elm Disease and from the look of this leaf a very advance case of it too!  - Dinledhwen

"In the case of exposure to Black Breath, Morgul poison or other plagues from Mordor, please consult with your primary caregiver before taking, as extreme side effects may occur, including, but not limited to hallucinations, blurred vision, auditory disturbances and narcolepsy." - Fíriel

Arwen, whispers to Aragorn: I TOLD you not to put extra garlic on your Lembas! Your breath has knocked the poor little fella out!
Aragorn, to Frodo: Speak to me, Frodo! Don't let go! I 'll eat this fresh mint and all will be better! Can you hear me, Frodo?
Frodo, to himself: One leaf ain't enough to bring me back, my friend.... - Frodosmiss

Arwen: Aragorn! Didn't I tell you that we need a sterile environment to work in?! You call this sterile? Mud, and unwashed hands after you uh...nevermind. Oh, and rotting corpses?
Aragorn: WHAT?!?!?!
Arwen: Yeah, mean that we're trying to...uh...stop that from...uh...happening. Which is why you need to follow my instructions!!!! - gustaf

If you don't eat this medicine like a good little halfling, Arwen here will plug your nose and force your mouth open.
Don't make me have to force you, Frodo, TAKE the medicine. - bregotamer

Saruman in Orthanc

The epic battle between Saruman and Tinkerbell was remembered for generations to come.
- Primula

When wizards play the hokey pokey: "You put your staff in... you put your staff out... you put your staff in and you shake it all about....."  - onónë

*sigh* ...there goes yet another patient who only made it as far as my waiting room. I can't believe I thought I could make a living as a proctologist. - Eärrámë

Waving his magical staff to take out the trash, Saruman accidentally turns his entire tower into Hefty Bags. - Primula

This "Spider-catcher-for-wimps" was certainly worth the dosh! - Sylvania

"Ah! So there's the on switch!" - Primula

.. and then I reeled 'er right inta tha boat. And THAT's how you catch a 70 pound marlin when you think it's swallowed your ring! - Icarus

Holding up his light, Saruman was horrified to discover his entire throne-room was overrun with mildew. - Evelyn

Has anyone seen my big shiny ball? I seem to have mislaid it.- Daisy Gold

two good reasons never to hire a wizard as an interior decorator:
1) black, black, black and more black. Hasn't he heard of beige?
2) tiny, insignificant light sources... mostly hand-held... makes reading awkward... not to mention entertaining. -

Saruman really wished his new egg-cooker would quit making them radioactive. - Bergil

As seen on TV...or Palantir:  This new tool makes changing light bulbs easier than ever before..., Just $29.95 and you can make changing those hard to reach ceiling bulbs easier than ever. Act now and we'll include........ - Lindorie

Saruman never could get the knack of roasting marshmallows. Even with a fire big enough to char the whole throne room, the marshmallow remained untouched. - onónë

Igor, come! Now that I've changed the lightbulb in my special, one of a kind mind control remote, we can finally rule the world!  - KingNik

Gonzo (as Charles Dickens) narrates:
"And lo, it is dusk and the lamplighters are plying their trade" - Icarus

Yikes, this Radon detector is going CRAZY!!! - Doctor Gamgee