Captions 15

Taken from the ongoing captioning game from the messageboards,  All images are property of New Line, etc. etc.
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Gandalf lights his staff in Moria

Gandalf, tired of wielding the flame of Arnor,
tries (unsuccessfully) to blow the darn thing out.....

- Frodosmiss

"Get this **** firefly off of me!" - Gandalf the White

Cue Mission Impossible Theme music.......
The moth settles on Gandalf's hand and whispers to the great wizard and the voiceover narration is heard......
Your mission, Gandalf is to take the hobbit Frodo to Mordor using any means necessary. Should you be caught or captured, the Valar will disavow any knowledge of your mission or actions....this moth will self distruct in five seconds.....5....4.....3.....2.....1....FLASH!  - Lindorie

Gandalf realizes, upon closer inspection, that he hasn't washed his hands in 500 years. - The1Ring  
Who knew it would lead to spontaneous combustion? - Frodosmiss)

Gandalf's Answer to "The Itty Bitty Book Light." - Doctor Gamgee

"The darkness is deepening" - Gandalf the White

Gandalf leads Moria Kaeroke night: "This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine."  - Seron

Gandalf mutters to himself: 'Who knew Balin's tomb was a non-smoking room? Now, I'm stuck out in the dark hallway of Moria, having to smoke all by myself!' - Frodosmiss

Lumos! - Eärrámë

Does anyone else hear the song, "Pass the Dutchy on the left hand side?"  - Doctor Gamgee

Gandalf, to himself: That Gimli thinks he's so funny, poking me in the rear with that axe and then pretending it wasn't him! We'll see who's laughing with I give him a little nudge with this hot stick! There will be NO need to toss that dwarf over a big chasm now! *snickers* - Frodosmiss

At the rock concert of the century, Gandalf lights his staff when the ballads play.... - Pippin's Sunshine

The song said- "catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day", but at the last second, Gandalf realized he had no pockets......- Frodosmiss

Gandalf to Pippen: No! No! I said to turn the light off! Not up to the highest brightness! - Starflower

Bilbo at his Party

Auditions for the Shire Production of "Pirates of Penzance"
Bilbo:  On the good ship Lollypop!
Director:   Next!

- Doctor Gamgee

Merry the dance instructor: And 5, 6, 7, 8... "Jazz hands, grape vine to the left and grapevine to the right, jazz square and jazz square, hindge kick and land in the splits!" clap clap....And 5, 6, 7, 8...
Sadly, Bilbo could only remember jazz hands!!! - Samsmissy

*Bilbo doing the Hokey-Pokey*
You put your whole self in,
You put your whole self out;
You put your whole self in,
And you shake it all about.... - Ashlyn

"Now now, a simple test will tell us if we should broach another keg. How many hands am I holding up?" - Primula

"Whoa officer, that's not mine!" - Gandalf the White

"Look! No Hands! ..... Well, they weren't here a second ago... " - Laiquendi

"And it was thiiiiiiiis big!" - Starflower

All right, you caught me. It was I who placed the whoopie cushion on Gandalf's seat. It was pretty funny though, wasn't it?  - Eruvanne

"Don't shoot Gollum - the Ring's in the left-hand pocket of my jacket!" - Sylvania

The crowd groaned as Bilbo began his infamous "mime in a box" routine....again.... - Primula

Nooo, no Ian, I'm not that kind of guy. - - Eärrámë

Gandalf at the Council

'What IS Elrond wearing? That is sooo Second Age!'
- Pippin's Sunshine

"What is that doing here?" - Gandalf the White

Confound it, Samwise Gamgee! It's 73 bottles of ale on the wall...not 76!
It's no wonder these games take so blasted long! Now we have to start all over again! - Frodosmiss

"Well that was interesting. I wonder what happens if I pull this lever!" - Primula

Ugh, I forgot about these hard wooden chairs of Elrond's. Where's my donut cushion when I need it? - bregotamer

You have to be as tall as this staff to go on the ride. No exceptions! - Primula

Maybe if I lean over nonchalantly they won't notice my beard is stuck to the toffee in my pocket. - Evelyn


Frodo, thinking to himself: How long has it been since we left the Shire? Months? Years? Day in and day out, it's the same thing...If my old Gaffer could see me now, Mr. Frodo! Do you think Rosie's cute, Mr. Frodo? Weren't those elves great, Mr. Frodo? Who'd believe we would ever see an oliphaunt, Mr. Frodo? I wish I had some peanut butter for this Lembas Mr. Frodo! That Gollum stinks, don't he Mr. Frodo? You look terrible Mr. Frodo. Are we there yet, Mr. Frodo? Yadda-Yadda-Yadda Mr. Frodo....ACKKKKK!!!! Forget the Ring! It's Sam who's driving me MAD!!!
- Frodosmiss

"I'll have the boil'em, bake'em, stick them in the stew potato meal!" a starving Frodo ordered while he read the menu above the cashiers at McGaffer's. - Dinledhwen

"Yes, Sam, for the fortieth time I don't think you're a bad cook... But five roast chickens and four whole pies *brrrp* are just a bit much." - Primula

 If I hear one more thing about the various uses of string , I swear I will use it to gag him!  - Sylvania

Elijah: owwww... who put that table in the way?
Peter Jackson(offscreen): CUT! He's supposed to stand up from the floor and look terrified in the direction of Sauron's eye, not fall back down with a concussion! Who's the set designer who thought they were being funny?
Billy whistles in a "who? me?" manner and is immediately escorted from the premesis. - Freya Baggins

 Upon opening Farmer Maggot's basket, Frodo could only utter the word "Mushrooms!" before fainting from sheer delight. - Fíriel 

 uuughh.. Please Sam, PLEASE! let... Smeagol... cook the rabbits next time.  - Easy Cheese

The Lord of the Rings: The Untold Story!!! In the lembas eating contest, Pippin ate four lembas while Frodo, way too into the contest, didn't stop until his 22nd one. (Needless to say, he was no longer fit to continue on the mission to destroy the ring and was taken to the hospital located at Cirith Ungol. Sam takes over and on his way to Mordor stops by the hospital to check on Frodo. There, Frodo, who has much improved, demands that the ring be given back to him, and the story continues on as normal...) - The1Ring

P.J. Elijah, I want you to play Bilbo.
*Elijah falls back in a dead faint*  - Strange Elf

Gandalf: "This is the One Ring! Sauron must not get it back!"
Frodo: "Uhh.... Duhhhhhh......?"
Gandalf: "Oookay.... I think we have a problem here..."  - Primula

Gimli: Nineteeen!! That's nineteen times he's fallen!!
Legolas: But he didn't fall, he's fainted!
Gimli: (grumbles) He was standing and is now in a heap on the ground, is he not! That's a fall in my book! Nineteen! - Lindorie

 Frodo gets a much needed foot massage from a grateful King of Gondor. - bregotamer

"La la la la... how many times have we rehearsed this song now? I am SO bored.... la la la la...." - Starflower

In a desperate attempt to get rid of it, Frodo swallows the Ring only to find it doesn't want to be swallowed. - Bergil

Orcs look up during the Pelannor

S-u-r-r-e-n-d-e-r D-o-r-o-t-h-y.....Who's Dorothy?
- Lindorie