Taken from the ongoing captioning game from the messageboards,
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Not even Peregrin Took, who had a
anything, could handle a Mordor
- Daughter of Kings
Hobbits never got the Gondorian Game of "Hot
Potato" - Doctor Gamgee
With his eyes shut to enjoy the aroma,
Pippin failed to notice his pie had caught fire. - Primula
Pippin found the secret way Saruman stayed warm.
warned Pippin not to remove his pie from the oven with his bare hands.
But did he listen? Nooooo. - Luthiena
Hobbit bowling goes horribly wrong:
I told them not to play with wooden balls and candlesticks... - Wanderer
That was the last time Pippin ever tried
to flambe a pie.
Hobbit rehab methods: 5 minutes holding flaming
hot stone, you'll never touch another ale again!...or anything else for
that matter. - Bregotamer
When it came to a staring contest with
Sauron, Pippin failed miserably.
There are some things a chappie's mind
absolutely refuses to picture, and Sauron singing
'Rumpty-tiddley-umpty-ay' is one of them.
(with apologies to P.G. Wodehouse) -
Legolas discreetly checks to see if his new anti-perspirant is
Éomer: Quick! Quick! Someone take
my picture next to this Legolas cut-out! - Laiquendi
Legolas wondered how awkward it would be if he asked Eomer to go to the
square dance with him. - Luthiena
What do you mean the Army requires
- Doctor Gamgee
Legolas: You see, Eomer, whenever I feel
having a bad hair day, I look in a mirror, wrap my arms around myself,
give me a little squeeze and say "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and
doggone it, people like me!" -
Aragorn and Gandalf droning in background...
Eomer: Legolas, do you
understand anything he's saying?
Legolas: Shhh. I'm trying to
read his thoughts instead of hearing his words.
Here's the plan...you grab Aragorn's feet, I'll
grab his head and we'll carry him to the sink, where we can wash and
fix his hair. I'm definitely NOT going into battle with him looking
like that! - Frodosmiss
"Fangorn Organic Shampoo: I told two friends, and they told two
friends, and so on, and so on, and so on!" - Doctor Gamgee
Legolas: Simon says hug yourself!
Eomer: No fair!...I can't bend! -
Galadriel goes a little dinghy.
I shall remain Galadriel and go into the....oh, darn it, this isn't the
way to the Grey Havens! - bregotamer
Galadrial grumbling to herself: I knew
I shouldn't have dropped the oars in this swamp water! - Starflower
Galadriel is very disappointed that no
one came to her Pirates of the Caribbean 3 re-enactment party.... - Frodosmiss
So I burnt
dinner while looking in the mirror. Is that a good reason for Celeborn
to send me up a river without a paddle? - bregotamer
This D-Lux Swan Boat sure looked bigger in the picture on the box. - Primula
No more blind dates!
Gimli - I give
unto you, Eowyn of Rohan, 3 strands of golden hair, given to me by Lady
Eowyn - Thank you, Gimli, I truly hope these are the same color so I
can use them as plugs! - Gandalf the White
Gimli, it would never have worked between us.
Wait, wrong movie! - Strange Elf
I'm sorry, Gimli...I just don't
feel like having a thumb war... -
Éowyn: Now, Gimli, just make sure that he doesn’t see you
slip this love potion into his drink. Oh, and make extra sure that I’m
the only female around … … I’d really hate to have gone to all this
trouble for nothing. - Ashlyn
Eowyn: Oh dear! I am so awfully
sorry! Can you ever forgive me?
Gimli: There is nothing to forgive, dear lady. You would not be the
first person to call me Grumpy...as long as you don't call me Dopey! - Frodosmiss
No, it cannot be true. Please, Gimli, tell me it is not so.
I'm very sorry, my lady but it is so. You have been voted off the
Olympic sword-fighting team. -
Gimli, Saruman is on his way! This
is hardly the time to do "the Hustle!" - Doctor Gamgee
I'm sorry, my dear, but I prefer to swim
with little hairy women. - bregotamer
Eowyn: (skeptically) You
mean...If I kiss you,... you will turn into a handsome prince?
Gimli: (left hand behind back with fingers crossed) Oh, absolutely!
I'll be so tall and handsome, Legolas will cry. - Lindorie
Gimli: We represent... the Lollipop Guild....the Lollipop
Guild...the Lollipop Guild! And in the name of...the Lollipop Guild, we
wish to welcome you to Munchkinland!
Boromir: This will never work, Legolas! Didn't you
see "Weekend at Bernie's"?!?
- Doctor Gamgee
Gandalf, wake up,
it's your turn to guess the Pictionary clue! - Icarus
Boromir: *Gasp!* "Why did Gandalf stop?
Is it dangerous?"
Legolas: "I don't see anything..."
Gandalf: "Oh I hate it when
my hair snorts up my nose." -
(Frodo, Pippin and Aragorn do the
Legolas: "This is crazy?!"
Boromir: "You haven't seen the worst of it!"
Gandalf: "Get this youthy act of idiocy away from me!" - Gandalf the White
Gandalf (while clicking his
heels):There's no place like home! There's no place like home... - Lindorie
*looking at the "Kick Me!" sign pinned to the back of Aragorn's tunic*
Boromir: "Gandalf . . ."
Legolas: *speechless confusion*
Gandalf: *... whatever was I thinking when I convinced Elrond to let
Pippin come along!?!?! ..." - Ashlyn
Boromir : " What is that devilish noise ?
Legolas: " FANGIRLS !!! "
Gandalf: " Quick ! Run for your lives. "
- Daisy Gold
Boromir... "Is that Britney Spears? What
IS she wearing this time?" - Icarus
Three stages of response to finding out
that Merry and Pippin just won Middle Earth Idol:
Shock (Boromir -- "I didn't see that right.... I COULDN'T have seen
Incredulity (Legolas -- "Have the judges been smoking pipe
Reality Hits (Gandalf -- "They were insufferable before...
just think of what they'll be NOW!") - onónë
Boromir: "Whoa! Babe alert."
Gandalf: "Oh no....not again...."
Legolas: "Arwen? What are you doing down here?" - Primula
Please Eru, if you get me through this,
I'll never smoke pipeweed again! -