Captions 13

Taken from the ongoing captioning game from the messageboards,  All images are property of New Line, etc. etc.
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Group at Theodred's funeral

Off Screen Announcer: When you sign up for Middle-earth Mobile...
You get a whole network of support that follows you everywhere....!

- Lindorie

White bearded guy behind Theoden:
Saruman! Let my people go!   - Eärrámë

*sounds of moving cattle*  - Wanderer

Now, when PJ shows up, everyone shout "Surprise" and Gandalf will light the candles on the cake! Quick, here he comes! Everyone look solemn . . . - Doctor Gamgee

Aragorn: Why is everyone so serious?
Gandalf: Step back, fool of a Ranger, I was here first!
Aragorn: Sheesh, it's just a Wii, it isn't as if Middle-earth's future depended on it.
(awkward silence as everyone turns and stares at him)
Aragorn: Erm, never mind. - MerryK

The Brothers (nephews, cousins, uncles, grandfathers, etc...) Grimm!!!  - Lindorie

Well, thought Aragron, this is what I get for waiting till half-time to use the bathroom! - onónë

Gandalf: Man! The lines are so ungodly long at Krispy Kreme! - Frodosmiss

[Female Voice] I love the funny way you stand out from the crowd.
Gandalf: What in the world is she talking about?
Aragorn: Don't look at me. You're the one wearing white and sticking out like a sore thumb.  - Eruvanne

And now at Bill's Used Horse Sale, our blow-out clearance has just begun, and as you can see folks, the customer are just pouring in...! Don't be left out, these ponies won't last long! - Primula

Erroneous newspaper caption....The Army of the Dead  - Lindorie

Theoden thinking: Why does the entire court always have to follow the King? I'm just heading for the outhouse... - Primula

For three days, all we've 'ad to eat is maggoty bread! - Lindorie

Deagol looking at Smeagol

Dude, A breath mint!
- Doctor Gamgee

Deagol to Smeagol: WOW! You got a whistle in your Cracker Jacks! All I got was this stupid ring... - Frodosmiss

Wha'd'you think I am? A Hobbit!?! - Wanderer

I know I said I needed fish bait, but do you always have to bring the worms to me in your mouth? I mean, eww! - Primula

Mel Brooks is going to direct "The Hobbit?!?" - Doctor Gamgee

"No, I did NOT take the last piece of chocolate cake!" - The1Ring

Deagol: Has your grandmother taught you nothin'? It's not polite to watch someone over their shoulder. - Eruvanne

"What are you talking about? A Ring? I haven't seen any Rings around here! You must be imagining things, Smeagol my friend!" - Ashlyn

Hey! Quit pushing! There's plenty of shoes on sale for all of us! - Traevynn

Deagol: Be vewy, vewy quiet...I'm hunting wabbits! - Frodosmiss

Deagol: Now what?
Smeagol: Uh... I kill you?
Deagol: Let's look in the book.  - Starflower

Deagol: Shhh....I see penguins... - Wanderer

Oliphaunts on the Pelennor

A mouse in the ranks...
- Firiel

Chorus: Hanibal comes!
Chorus Director: No, No, NO! Wrong movie.  - Eruvanne

Oliphant 1: Did you hear that dear?
Oliphant 2: Yes I did, what do you think it was?
Oliphant 1: I don't know, but it sounded awfully like a bag of chips being crunched up.  - Wanderer

The Haradrim answer Dr. G's call for help in taming the wild tarantula...  - Frodosmiss

The United Peanut-Roasters of Minas Tirith prove once again that their customers will beat down their doors for that fresh, improved flavor!
(Now available by the ton, no delivery available to the South. Ask about our elephantine discounts.) - Primula

When Cookie rings the dinner bell, all the ranch hands come a'runnin'. - Lindorie

Oliphaunt #1 to Oliphaunt #2: Don'tcha just hate it when you get a soldier stuck between your toes? Especially the ones from Gondor- those pointy helms dig in something FIERCE! - Frodosmiss

Random person: AHHH!! MY EYE!!!! 0_* - Wanderer

Last Oliphaunt in the pool is a poufy pachaderm! - Lindorie

"Aaaaand they're off!. Oliphaunt Bob is pulling into the lead, with Ollie-Fant just behind... Who will win the Golden Peanut this time? - Starflower

Oliphaunt no. 1: *sniff* Where's our armour? These arrows are going to itch something awful tonight. -  eowynmaiar

Oliphaunt 1: Ha ha, I can open my mouth bigger than you... - The1Ring

*country pop music playing---* "Doin' the boot-scootin' boogie......" - Traevynn

Nazgul on a rainy day

As the Elves pushed the boulder off the edge of the cliff above,
the Ringwraiths were thankful they had bought a gross of Acme umbrellas from that Wile E. Coyote fellow....
- Frodosmiss

...In spite of the years, the Wraiths never completely forgot their dear old nanny, Mrs. Poppins....  - Primula

"Good grief - isn't it enough that we all have to dress the same - did he also have to insist we had matching brolleys??" - Sylvania

The Nazgul Dance Academy, directed by the Dark Lord Sauron, is pleased to present their rendition of that Broadway classic, "Singing in the Rain." - Frodosmiss

"Wait! I thought we were supposed to have our water-wings of Doom to cross the Ford."
"Well, yes, but umbrellas were cheaper."  - Bergil

Sauron decided to gradually change the color of doom to blue and swords to doom-colored weather deflectors. - gustaf

"We better watch out - that little kid named Dorothy might melt us too!" - Starflower

Galadriel recieves Nenya

**voiceover** Elven Palm Pilots with GPS* explained why the
Galadrim were rulers of the Woodland Realm.

*Galadrim Positioning Systems
- Doctor Gamgee

Live long and... what was it again? Drat. How does that irritating Vulcan do it, anyway?  - onónë

Why do I always get that wart on my middle finger? - Primula

"I'm telling you Frodo! It's so dark in Mordor you can't see your hand THIS FAR from your face!"- Icarus

Whoa! Look at what I can do with my hand! That dear little hobbit was right!  This IS the best weed in the South Farthing! - bregotamer

Keep the Ring, Frodo, I broke a nail ... - Doctor Gamgee

Talk to the hand, Celeborn says...soooo, I talk to the hand and it says nothing back- and this helps me how?- Frodosmiss

To Frodo: "You think that was cool? Wait till I show you how to separate the thumb and first two fingers from the last two...." - bregotamer, my fingers...they're like, all different lengths. - Bergil

I wish I had someone other than myself and those other elves to practice my palm reading on. Everyone has a long life line and will meet and marry a handsome/beautiful member of the opposite sex- BIG surprise! - frodosmiss