Captions 11

Taken from the ongoing captioning game from the messageboards,  All images are property of New Line, etc. etc.
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Theoden and company on the steps of Helms Deep

Theoden, to Aragorn: Judging by this line,
I'd sure hate to see the line at the Ladies Room!
- Frodosmiss

Theoden, to Primula: Look, Prim! I've rounded up a dozen spammers for you!! Shall we delete them? - Frodosmiss

Headwaiter: Hmmm, let's see.....Ah yes, here it is....Theoden, party of twenty. Your tables will be ready in a moment. Our special for this evening is Eowyn's Stew. - Lindorie

"No no, you bow this way - the King is over here!" - Starflower

Photographer: Excellent...just excellent...but...i don't see reeeal grimness here. I want to see your grimest most dreaded look you can give. Give it all your heart fella's... pretend your all about to dieee...Yeahhh that's it..ok hollld that pose. - Feanor

Legolas: My keen elf nostrils smell a great and terrible evil here.
Gimli: It wasnt me! - Arthur

"Hurry up will you, we all want a turn bobbing for apples." - Starflower

And here you have them, folks! Your top 13! Who will survive to be your next Gondorian Idol?? - Frodosmiss

The reaction of the men when told the remote was left back at the Golden Hall. - Traevynn

Aragorn, son of Arathorn, Descendent of the High Kings of Numenor, long of foresight and wise of lore, rued the fact that the camera would not be invented for many, many, many ages of men. - Lindorie

"What do you mean you're out of popcorn? Intermission only lasts ten more minutes!" - Primula

NARRATION -- One thing - and one thing only - was sweeping Middle earth more swiftly than Mordor's threatening shadows of doom; political correctness. Hence, the commissioned group-portrait artist dared not ask that all shorter folk - good though they might be - move to the front .... - gentle-giant

Theoden, sounding like the Godfather:
"Nice party you got here. It'd be a shame if somethin' were to happen to it..." - Ennelyn

Theoden thinking to himself "So much for express lane." - Samsmissy

Eowyn, Shieldmaiden of Rohan, let me introduce you to this seasons contestants for the Bachelorette. - Strange Elf

Frodo holds the Ring at Sammath Naur

Frodo finally discovers what was clogging his bathtub drain.
- Primula

Frodo was surprised to hear a Who speaking from a dust speck on the Ring! - Dinledhwen

You are getting sleeepy, verry sleepy.... - Lindorie

Music crescendos as the film's climactic moment is reached, vocals by an Orcish choir...
"Candy-coated popcorn, peanuts and a prize! That's what you get in Cracker Jack." - Lithilien Quicksilver

Dang, I want my money back. I think this so-called Magic Tanning Ring is turning me green! - Primula

"Must pay a bit more for my crackers next Christmas!" - Sylvania

No fair! Sauron's Ring is bigger than mine! - Lithilien Quicksilver

After digging through the ashes in the Bag End fire place, Frodo finally finds the ring that was thrown in the fire.
"Of all the days for rain to come down the chimney!" - Starflower

The Ring: Frodo, I am your father! - Eärrámë

Gollum snickering in the background....
Frodo: "What'd ya mean, not real gold?" - bregotamer

Frodo: *gasp* is this the ark?? - gustaf

"This was totally not worth eating 5,000 chocolate bars." - Evelyn

Boromir, Legolas & Aragorn in Moria

Aragorn:  Right, Gimli's down, who's going to give him the kiss of life?
- Strange Elf

"Boromir, are you sure this subway runs all the way to Minis Tirith? I think we're on the wrong line." - Primula

"Why do we always pick the slowest subway in Middle-Earth!?" - Starflower

Aragorn: You know Arwen said that I'm...
Boromir: Oh no, here we go again...
Legolas: Dude, this is like the worst possible moment we can be talking about this, Frodo's just been stabbed and probably dead!
Aragorn: *sigh* It's never the right time... - Arthur

Moderator: ...and so, panel, you must guess which one of these three gentlemen is the long lost King of Gondor. - Lindorie

Aragorn and Boromir thinking to themselves ... "Why is the spotlight always on that Elf!?!" - Ashlyn

"Aragorn, look! The Elf is glowing again - orcs are about!" - Primula

Boromir: I told you, you poncy elf, you can't tag on a double tig
Aragorn: Not unless the double tig comes after a tag done while spinning on one's toes and shooting the third orc from the left.- - Lindorie

 The Three Musketeers of Middle-Earth : "All for one and.... Hey! Why do those hobbits keep on stealing our job?!"  - Starflower

*sings* One of these gents is not like the other, one of these gents isn't the same..... - Lindorie

What do you mean "The Studio is demanding a rewrite?" What are we supposed to do? Play "One potato, Two Potato" to see which one of us doesn't make it to the second film?!? - Doctor Gamgee

Ewww! So that's what Galadriel looks like without makeup! - Traevynn

"All right we're down to three contestants - Two Men and an Elf. Two will go home with nothing...Only one will go home to become King of Gondor. But who will it be?" - Starflower

Boromir: "I can't believe we were worried about that Cave Troll. But who would have thought even Hobbits could be that hungry?!" - Lithilien Quicksilver

Aragorn: "Look at Gandalf breakdance!
Leggy/Boro: "Whoa!" - Gandalf the White

Uruk Hai in a Phone Booth
Joe, a normal uruk-hai.
But when troble is afoot he becomes...

Super Lurtz!
- Starflower

I told you....This phone is busy!!!! - Arthur

No quarter given! - Primula

Any bloke calls hisself Aragorn around? Phone call for Aragorn, come and get it! - Lindorie

Spare change?? Gotta call me mum. - Traevynn

What is this thing? How did i get here? What's that ringing sound. Arrrrg! - Feanor

Nope no hobbits here! - Arthur

Where's that hobbit? He told me this was the biffy and now, I've REALLY gotta go!! - Frodosmiss

The Doctor's new assistant, whilst less attractive than previous companions, came in handy when the sonic screwdriver broke! - Laiquendi

Can anyone get me the number for Pizza Hut? We ain't had nuthin' but maggoty bread for three stinkin' days! - Frodosmiss

In his best Pee-Wee Herman voice:   I'm trying to use the PHONE!!!! - Doctor Gamgee

Now that's an interesting choice for the next Dr. Who! - HobbitNaga

Eowyn fights Gothmog

"Gimme back my lunch money or I'll hit you with more than custard!"
- Primula