Pestilential Prose

Bad Writing by MrsFrodoBaggins

An Extravagently Inconsequential FotR Vignette

    "This is an awfully, terribly, scarily, murkily deep river here,
Strider," said the trepidatiously wide-eyed Sam in extreme ill-at-ease gawkiness at
the grotesquely vast Anduin, which looked to his holbytla's eyes to be
approximately the width of the entire green, flowery, potatoey, beautific Shire,
Lobelia Sackville-Baggins and all.

    "Why, indubitably-deedy-doo, it certainly, positively, absolutely is,
Samwise the Observant," cheerily affirmed the tall, rangy, slightly mangy Ranger.
 "I'm so incredibly, incredulously glad you noticed.  Look yonder there, my
diminutive companion!  Take a look at those magnificent, imposing, colossal,
utterly staggering monoliths up ahead.  Aren't they the most wonderific,
splendidly amazing carved stone edifices you've ever espied?"

     "Aragorn," gently sighed Frodo, the Ring-bearer, he of magnificent heart
and gut-wrenching courage, not to mention impossibly, slack-jawedly,
gobsmackedly blue peepers, "stow it."