The Rubbish Bin
Bad Writing by Empress JuJu
Junior on the Battlefield
Empiress Juju (dressed in full armour and heavily armed) approaches the
battlefield on her faithful steed Mansbane , followed closely by her
personal guard Junior .
Looking down I see the smurf (hideous creatures) and say 'look Junior I
promised you a treat' Junior gobbles up the smurf and grunts for more .
'Save your appetite for the battle Junior' . I give a bit of torn cloth
to Junior to sniff(for tracking purposes) . 'This came from Laiquendi's
cloak , I want him alive , we need him for information.' We depart into
the trees and wait until the moment is right.
The smurf had quickly hidden and it was actually warg dung that Junior ate.
Junior and I have spent the day observing the battle from afar
evaluating the situation and the strengths and weaknesses of those
Mansbane grazes nearby .I stand in front of Junior , hands on hips, craning neck to look up at my giant companion .
'You just quit your stropping about that warg dung , you had plenty to
eat when you ate all my men, you're appetite is a liability, though I
have to say I wouldn't have minded taking a bite out of a couple of
them myself hehe .BTW you still have a bit of Charlie in your
teeth...no, no, just there... there, you've got it .
It seems there is already a battle over this land and it's people. I
can't believe I've come all the way from the new world and there's
hardly a peasant left for me to rule and oppress '.
I drop kick my crown and sit on a boulder with my chin in my hands .
'It's so hard to find good subjects these days , all the really good
kingdoms are taken , blasted men! If I had two , I'd be the king'!!
'what's this?' Just then the post arrives by Eagle (eat your heart out
Harry Potter) 'It's the newspaper, oh good there's some property
"For Sale :Mordor ,DIY special , fixer
upper , castle destroyed in unnatural dissaster , but plenty of land to
build on . Surrounded by mountains , warm balmy weather . Pests have
been a problem , may need to have exterminators in .Lot's of treasure
and magical items to be found throughout .May need to evict squatters .
Summer house in Henneth Annun is included , has lovely pool , waterfall
and good fishing .Interested parties please respond to Middle Earth
'Now that's just the ticket for us Junior , sounds perfect .Wonder who
these squatters are? Well I suppose if we can get any work out of them
it might not be a bad arrangement .I figure you can eat this realator ,
I'll grab the deed and we'll both be on our merry way to our new home '.
Empiress Juju and her motley band head off into the sunset.
'Hey maybe we'll run into some orcs on the way Junior, a bit of a scrap will cheer us up '
Junior is the cave troll from FOTR , he's my personal bodyguard .
He ate all my men that came ashore with me from the new world . Can't
be blamed really , we all smelled of fish from the long sea journey . I
happened to discover by accident how to calm him , besides he was full
by the time he got to me and had a horrible belly ache . Guessing it
was gas , I gave him a couple of good whacks on the back , he let out 3
tremendous smelly troll burps and grinned ear to ear and that was the
beggining of our strange but beautiful friendship . he's not bad
company really if you don't mind his breath and troll farts so much ( I
do ,but find it keeps most enemies at bay so I just try to stay upwind).
I got the name for Junior from a post
I read but can't remember who posted it , she said that Junior wasn't
really all bad he had just fell in with a bad lot .