Excruciating Epics

Bad Writing by

The Exhaustive Tale of Gimli's Relations

Durin VII was last,

Son of Thorin III,

Who was called Stonehelm.

His father was Dáin II, or Ironfoot,

Son of Náin

Son of Grór

Son of Dain I.

Now Dain I

Son of Náin

Had two other sons by name:

Frór and Thrór.

Frór had a son,

Thráin II

Who fathered Thorin II Oakenshield,


And Dís,

Whose sons were Fíli and Kíli.

But back to Dáin I,

Who also had a brother,


And his extensive descendants--

His son Farin,

Whose two sons Fundin and Gróin

Each begot two more sons,

Balin and Dwalin,

And Oin and Glóin


Now Glóin also fathered Gimli, the Elf-friend.

Thus, Thorin III of Stonehelm was Gimli's fourth cousin

And also Fíli and Kíli's third cousin!

I digress.

Náin II,

Father of Dáin I,

Was son of Oin (not Gimli's father's brother, but another Oin!),

And Oin was the son of Glóin (again, a different Gloin),

And his father was Thorin I

Son of Thráin I

Son of Náin I

Son of Durin VI

Son of Durin the Deathless.

Thus runs the exhausting line of Dwarves,

As told by Gimli,

Son of Glóin,

Son of Gróin,

Son of Farin,

Son of Borin...